I work as a private practice NP Internal Medicine provider in the same medical center where I started as RN years ago.
A some time ago, I stopped sharing ANY private information about myself and my family, period. Partially it was due to xenophobia I experienced in the same place, partially due to current political situation and partially because I am, well, sick and tired of sharing information that has nothing to do with business. I am nice, polite and adamant about it, whether one feels like "just curious" or not. But, since I was there before, some pieces leaked out and stayed in collective memory.
Over the last year, I encountered more than once that patients/families somehow got to know where I came from and some other details I did not share with them. It is Trump country overall, so more than once it led to situations when I was asked humiliating (to say it mildly) questions directly in my face, refusal of care under premise that I must be "a spy or something", etc. Needless to say, it doesn't make my life any better.
The single source of leak in all cases with no exclusion were staff RNs. I spoke with them; some outright denied telling patients anything, but when presented with facts, everyone started the same spiel: "the patient/family just wanted to know where are you from, what are you doing here in America and if you have any kids - they are customers, you know, and why they cannot know if they are just curious?" No one of them had an impression that what they did was wrong.
In my opinion, doing so is, at least, unprofessional.
Speaking with NURSING management led to nowhere. They have no policies about it, and "what if he just wanted to know, and the nurse happens to know, and not comfortable to say "no"?"
It is curiosity that makes for questions . Sometimes an uneasiness lends to focusing on the provider.
I am completely nuetral ,however i don't believe any coworker should be sharing any information about you . There is a polite way to change the direction of the conversation by responding simply I don't know specifics but we are really happy to have her as part of our team. I would not appreciate folks talking about me . I would appreciate knowing folks are asking . For you the NP , it does seem awkard that you are so resistant to share ,perhaps you can find a common place where you may share enough to put your team and patients at ease to erase suspicion and allow them to understand you .
I disagree that folks wouldn't be asked because white , Canadian or otherwise . If someone has a different accent folks ask questions . People are just inherently curious .
It is curiosity that makes for questions . Sometimes an uneasiness lends to focusing on the provider.
I am completely nuetral ,however i don't believe any coworker should be sharing any information about you . There is a polite way to change the direction of the conversation by responding simply I don't know specifics but we are really happy to have her as part of our team. I would not appreciate folks talking about me . I would appreciate knowing folks are asking . For you the NP , it does seem awkard that you are so resistant to share ,perhaps you can find a common place where you may share enough to put your team and patients at ease to erase suspicion and allow them to understand you .
What "suspicion" are you talking about? I really wonder - do you think that someone speaking with an accent and apparently foregn-born looks "suspicious" for you just because of that?
I get that some kind of folks from the street can feel "suspicious" toward foreigners, people with skin color different from their own and everybody else beyond the narrow circle they belong but it doesn't mean the society has to coddle their prejustices and "ease their suspucions". Otherwise, we will come back to segragated institutions of 1950th, and pretty quickly.
Yes, I speak with an accent, but it hardly ever causes problems by itself.
All people today need is a name and they can find out a lot. I'm not an NP, but that alone makes me very nervous. If a patient doesn't get what they want, or if they feel you are not sympathetic enough, there could be problems. For that very reason, all of my social media accounts are linked to other names, nick-names or generic email accounts. People are curious, but the RNs in the office deciding that it's their business to share your personal information is not only unprofessional, it's rude and ill mannered. I also know practitioners who use their maiden names to avoid nosey patients. That's usually the name they were licensed under, so it's not a fictitious name, but it leaves the trail dead were someone inclined to look up anything other than your license. You have to be proactive too.
I will say that I think it's totally unnecessary to say that it's "Trump Country." As if Democrats can't be every bit as nosey and vengeful. A small percentage of every population anywhere could take the stance that simply because you are 'ethnic' they should somehow suspect your abilities. I am white, my dentist office is all black and very capable. I would never seek out a provider, or write one off because they are non-white. I go to the closest provider where my insurance is accepted and if they are from another race, who cares? I would also expect a coworker to be furious if their children were doxed by having a fellow staff member tell a patient where they went to school! You are well within your rights to file some kind of complaint AND Trump country, or not, they should face some sort of suspension from the office manager, doctor, whatever.
I can only hope that the Cheeto will be out of office soon and his base will disappear with him.
I'm not a Trump supporter, but comments like this keep a country divided. When I was being stalked, it was during the Obama and Bush II administrations. Did I blame them? NO, I blamed the jerk stalking me, although those with authority did nothing to help. My point is that haters will be haters no matter who is in office. And some of those haters will act out no matter what. I know some will say that Trump being in office makes it easier for the haters to act out, but in KatieMI's own posts on this thread, she states that this has been going on for years, and Trump has not been in office for years, just a couple. And those coworkers that have been giving her personal info out, they've probably done this for a long time with other PCPs as well, no one has ever stopped them before.
BTW-this is not Trump's America, this is our America. When we all start viewing our nation this way, healing begins. This is not a 1 party or 1 politician problem. It's a problem that exists for all of us, and we all need to be part of the solution
It is curiosity that makes for questions . Sometimes an uneasiness lends to focusing on the provider.
For you the NP , it does seem awkard that you are so resistant to share ,perhaps you can find a common place where you may share enough to put your team and patients at ease to erase suspicion and allow them to understand you .
What "suspicion" are you talking about? I really wonder - do you think that someone speaking with an accent and apparently foregn-born looks "suspicious" for you just because of that?
I get that some kind of folks from the street can feel "suspicious" toward foreigners, people with skin color different from their own and everybody else beyond the narrow circle they belong but it doesn't mean the society has to coddle their prejustices and "ease their suspucions". Otherwise, we will come back to segragated institutions of 1950th, and pretty quickly.
Yes, I speak with an accent, but it hardly ever causes problems by itself.
I believe the poster is speaking about a situation that has a tendency to arise when one is unwilling to share even basic information about oneself with others, which is that people may infer that the individual has something that they want to hide and try more strenuously to learn about that person. So in that sense, one's effort to maintain strict privacy for oneself can be self-defeating, as one arouses extra attention towards oneself.
I'm not an immigrant, but I am "racially ambiguous" and a very private person. I really don't get people and their need to insert themselves into someone's business. I get non stop questions about my ethnicity, marriage status , kids from coworkers and patients. I find it invasive and irritating. I am fully aware that it makes people more "comfortable" to know this info about someone. But I think it is a personal choice to share certain things.
I think the OP is well within her rights to keep her business to herself. Her coworkers were way over the line to give out her personal info. I don't have any suggestions other than biding your time and moving to a more diverse area. Unfortunately, it sounds like you will continue to get this invasion of your privacy at this place.
You do know that your patients can look up your name at your state Board of Nursing web site, and can view your licensure information and other public information?
I don't know about other internet sites, but on my BON's site, a nosey person can find out my license number, when it was issued, when it expired, and in what county I live. Heck of a lot different than where I was born and where my (hypothetical) kids go to school.
No one ever said to me "you are from Washington County? You must be a spy. How did they ever let you in here."
I have an independent internal medical practice in a rather conservative corner of a rather liberal state; I believe in knowing about my patient's lives and I am comfortable answering (most of) their questions about my life and often times about politics of finance or any other thing they want to talk about so they feel like we are on the same page. But this is easy for me as a white male. Most of my patients know I have a wife and kids. But this is ok with me.
What would not be ok with me is staff sharing gossip or any other information that I deemed unacceptable. This is a matter of professional courtesy: you don't share private details about a colleague without their consent.
tamilynn
13 Posts
It is curiosity that makes for questions . Sometimes an uneasiness lends to focusing on the provider.
I am completely nuetral ,however i don't believe any coworker should be sharing any information about you . There is a polite way to change the direction of the conversation by responding simply I don't know specifics but we are really happy to have her as part of our team. I would not appreciate folks talking about me . I would appreciate knowing folks are asking . For you the NP , it does seem awkard that you are so resistant to share ,perhaps you can find a common place where you may share enough to put your team and patients at ease to erase suspicion and allow them to understand you .