Per policy, I am not allowed to give an opinion on whether to COVID vaccinate

[FolksBtrippin]

This is a new job. I’m a nurse manager for children’s group homes and we are told we can’t give an opinion on whether or not parents should consent to vaccinate their children. We can educate but not give an opinion. 

When I educate you, you’re probably going to infer my opinion.

Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

I think nurses should encourage vaccination.  I’m annoyed.

Please share your experience. 

[toomuchbaloney]

2 minutes ago, Alex Kowalcyk said:

If fully informed consent for these "vaccines" were given, I don't believe anybody would choose to receive one.

As we've seen elsewhere in these covid threads, your beliefs about covid are deeply flawed and in conflict with expert opinion and recommendations. 

The vaccines are safe and effective and all eligible adults should vaccinate ASAP. 

[Alex Kowalcyk]

3 minutes ago, toomuchbaloney said:

As we've seen elsewhere in these covid threads, your beliefs about covid are deeply flawed and in conflict with expert opinion and recommendations. 

The vaccines are safe and effective and all eligible adults should vaccinate ASAP. 

 

[toomuchbaloney]

3 minutes ago, Alex Kowalcyk said:

 

Did you make your point with this unsourced screen shot? What was the point? I think the point is that you are afraid of the vaccines. 

[klone, MSN, RN]

Good luck, take care.

[emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

6 hours ago, Alex Kowalcyk said:

 

Alex has a point, you have to be careful of those side effects. I’m he agrees the vaccines could cause similar symptoms seen in the drugs listed below.  Props to stephen colbert. this is a long list, but hey, in the name of science. 
 

Vaxadrin – Stay Trim the Natural Way with Vaxadrin, the only weight loss pill recommended by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.

Side Effects may include:

Dry Mouth

Severe Weight Loss

Restless Leg Syndrome

Restless Arm Syndrome

Restless Torso syndrome

Vaxadrin – It is also the only anxiuretic recommended by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.

Side Effects may include:

Massive weight gain

Warning: may cause minor heart explosions

Children’s Vaxadrin – Promote strong healthy teeth in children with Children’s Vaxadrin and give your kids extra-sparkly adult teeth. Guaranteed to grow strong, healthy teeth, often in your mouth. Remember, even though baby teeth are God’s dental mulligans, adult teeth are kinda important.

Side Effects may include:

Rage

Mild Hulkism

Warning: Do not give to Children under 18

Diet Cherry Vanilla Vaxadrin – It’s amazing. It is also very fizzy.

Vaxadrine – From the makers of Vaxadrin, keep your body cleansed the Natural Way with Vaxadrine.

Side Effects may include:

Phantom Hand Syndrome

Vivid dreams of self-cannibalization

Vaxadrine – Regrow hair the Natural Way with Vaxadrine, the only hair growth tonic endorsed by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.

Side Effects may include:

Scruffula

Bad humors

Late Onset Albinoism

Vaxadrine with Calcium – Internally decapitated? Strengthen head and neck bones the natural way with Vaxadrine with Calcium, the only regenerative elixir endorsed by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A. Just liberally pour a healthy glass of milk into your bottle of Vaxadrine. Also goes great with coffee.

Side Effects may include:

It has a certain sedative effect

Spontaneous pregnancy

Increased risk of vampire attack

Coming soon: Vaxadrone and Vaxadrone for Baboons

 

Vaxa-Smacks – It’s the first cereal guaranteed to shrink your prostate. Or, if you’re a lady, grow ya one.

Side Effects may include:

Dry mouth

Hairy Uvula

Speaking in tongues

Note: Vaxa-Smacks is not for people who have, may have, or have decided not to have children.

Vaxa-Dream – A toothpaste. It does not contain any antifreeze – in truth, it is certified not to contain anything stronger than glass cleaner and beef tallow. Kissing someone who brushes with Vaxa-Dream is like making out with the cleaning crew at a steak house.

Side Effects may include:

Spontaneous and uncontrollable gum growth

Vaxadril – Curbs your appetite by causing short-term blindness. Food is the last thing you will be thinking of if you suddenly lose your sight.

Side Effects may include:

Increased appetite

Permanent blindness

 

Vaxachub – The only virility aid made entirely from powdered mice. If you experience erections lasting more than 4 hours, you are welcome.

Side Effects may include:

Mild kidney explosions

Testicular cranberrying

Rectal hallucinations

Note: There are also ongoing, and as of yet, undenied rumors that Vaxachub causes sterility

Vaxascab– A blood clotter, just jab these platelet packed pills directly into your wound.

Side Effects may include:

Pulmonary weevils

Brain tooth

Reemergence of the umbilical cord

 

Vaxasom – It’s made from a specially formulated compound that mimics the effects of ruffies, in that they are ruffies. Warning: Vaxasom is a mildly addictive sedative. Only use Vaxasom if you can devote the next eight to twelve hours of your life to sleep, and the next eight to twelve years of your life to rehab.

Vaxamax – It is the only protein powder you don’t have to mix with anything else. Just jam a straw in there and suck it down. It’s like a Pixie Stix that tastes like meat.

Side Effects may include:

Vein seizures

Aortal collapse

Monkey-lung

Vaxa-Mamm – Male breast reduction cream. Apply once and go straight to the hospital. You’re gonna want to get this stuff off. It burns.

Side Effects may include:

Autonomous nipple syndrome

Genital migration

Brain tooth

 

Heal Thyself Home Surgery Kit – For when you can’t find a doctor. Comes with a scalpel, sutures, surgical gauze (scotch tape), and surgical instructions. Though the instructions actually look to be for a plasma TV. When you’re done, you get HBO.

Vaxator– The only anti-cholesterol drug recommended by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A., Vaxator removes cholesterol in your arteries, as well as hair and soap scum. Order within the next 24 hours, and you’ll get a free heart defibrillator (a toilet plunger).

Side Effects may include:

Lactose addiction

X-ray hearing

Prolonged erections, but not where you’d hope

 

Vaxogenic Chambers – For long life. When you go in, make sure to bring an open box of baking soda.

Side Effects may include:

Lung-fire

Eye-curdling

Abdominal migration

Fulcrum – a male enhancement pill made from the strongest placebo allowed by law. Here’s how it works. Fulcrum doesn’t just direct more blood to your member: it directs all your blood to your member, leaving you a lifeless, shriveled husk hanging from a rigid steel beam.

Side Effects may include:

Urethral nodding

Honus Wagner’s disease

A rare and irreversible condition known as carcassing

Vaxa-Fice – It’s the only doctor recommended way to add new orifices to your body. Just rub it wherever you would like to give your surgeon an access hole and feel the mild tingling sensation as it burns away your flesh. Warning: Prescott Pharmaceuticals can make no guarantee which orifice you will receive. Actually, uh, there is a guarantee. It’s going to be an orifice.

Side Effects may include:

Gopherism

Multi-brow

Tracheal meerkat colonies

 

Liquid Launch – It doesn’t have one of the ingredients in rocket fuel, it has every ingredient in rocket fuel. When you blast some Liquid Launch into your innerspace, you’ll be singing ‘Ground Control to Major Yum.’

Side Effects may include:

Involuntary Narnia adventures

ADHDEAD

Whatever happens when you drink rocket fuel

Vaxaslim Canine – It is the only canine weight-loss medication that keeps weight off, guaranteed, or else you get a free pet carcass. Warning: do not confuse Vaxaslim Canine with Vaxaslim Human. You can tell the difference because Vaxaslim Canine has a ‘C’ on the label, while Vaxaslim Human has a sideways ‘U’ for HUman. Should you accidentally take the canine version, immediately consult a mortician.

Side Effects may include:

Testicular myopia

Warlock hump

Scrappy Doo-ism

Why Doesn’t My Mommy Love Me Enough To Get Beautiful? – It’s the story of a young boy who was forced to watch his mommy get little lines around her eyes until his daddy leaves her for the mommy from this book.

Side Effects may include:

Rocky Mountain oysterism

Grover Norquist syndrome

Rectal buffalo wings

 

Crustaceaa-Drine – To fight seafood toxins, it acts quickly to calm your nervous system by enabling it to pick up AM radio.

Side effects may include:

Thoracic geysers

Nostril inversion

Inability to breathe on weekends

Vaxaloon – For Truman Show delusion. Makes you believe you’re in a different Jim Carey movie. It comes in six different strengths – Ace Ventura, The Mask, Me, Myself, Irene, and for extreme cases, The Number 23, which causes hallucinations so powerful that patients believe The Number 23 made money.

Side Effects may include:

Rectal frosting

Arby’s Mouth

Tennis Scrotum

Happy Splash – A pool disinfectant. 100% pure hydrochloric acid. Remember, Happy Splash could be harmful to children with skin that is sensitive to hydrochloric acid.

Side Effects may include:

Pituitary ferns

Skeletal xylophoning

Teriyaki Lung

 

Atomo Kleen – ensures that your car is as clean as your toilet seat! Simply remove it from it’s lead carrying case and hang from your rear-view mirror. It irradiates your car and microwaves your groceries and pets.

Side Effects may include:

Chinese fire bones

brain whistle

eyesplosions

Let’s Give Physical – a musical composition scientifically designed as a substitute for medicine if taken rectally.

Side Effects may include:

capillary yogurt

abdominal salad-shooters

REO Speedlung

 

Lifebag – To fight airborne particles and make you live longer. Just place bag on head and clinch it tight to keep out deadly molecules, like oxygen and nitrogen. The approaching white light lets you know it is working.

Side effects may include:

Armpit Homunculus

Knee Transference

Verizon Guy Syndrome

Cosmo-Drine – Combat the AD-36 obesity virus by shaming it with unrealistic viral body images forcing it to get thin.

Side Effects may include:

Siamese Nipples

Hair Swelling

Involuntary Blowhole

Vaxalox Sepository Pen – Free promotional swag from Prescott, it provides a steady follow of ink where you need, and it’s also a pen!

Side Effects may include:

Pucker Lung

Bone Sporking

Yellowstone National Bladder

 

Vaxa Lax – Since drug companies can’t hide behind the FDA, they can hide behind the devastating insanity caused by Vaxa Lax. It releases a lawsuit resistant dose of mercury and oven cleaner which targets the part of the brain responsible for not seeing spider demons.

Side effects may include:

Lung Quake

Facial Corkboarding

Eye-arrea

Prescott’s Water Seal – Lasers can remove sweat glands, but they can’t stop all sweating. For that, use this product and apply to pores for a water tight skin lacquer. The body is adaptable, so if you can’t release heat through your sweat glands, you’ll learn to crap fire.

Side Effects may include:

Bearded Thalamus

Transsexual Kidneys

Rectal Dyslexia

Build-a-Baby Workshop – For those that want custom babies, but can’t afford designer prices. Because no one should have to love just *any* baby.

Side Effects may include:

Flu-namis

Spontaneous Mertail

Honey Nut Areolas

 

Formula $3.99 – Made from all the sperm that doesn’t make Stephen’s rigid Formula 401 standards

Side effects may include:

Ankle Bearding

Precocious Kidney

Hungry, Hungry Hipbones

UltraVaxaMax – Why stop at five medications? The one pill that combines every medicine. Just take one a day and it comes complete with a turkey dinner.

Side Effects may include (actually, it’s quicker to say the side effects it doesn’t include):

Spaghetti Ovaries

Argyle Pattern Baldness

Lou Ferriganos

Disposable Endoscopes – Guaranteed to be clean, because you only use it once. And trust me, once is plenty. Also remember to use a gentle twisting motion.

Side Effects may include:

Scrotal Bassoon

Jimmy Crack Corns

Spontaneous Harper’s Subscription

 

Prescott’s Pilli-O’s – If Cheerios are going to invade drug company territory, Prescott will go after the cereal market. This breakfast treat is marketed by its lovable mascot, Tony the Doctor. One spoonful, and you’ll agree with Tony’s motto, “You’ve got grrrrowths!”

Side effects may include:

Opposable Spleen

Achy Breaky Back

Foghorn Leghorns

Twitch – According to a reason study, large quantities of soft drinks can cause decreased muscle strength and paralysis. Enter Prescott Pharmaceutical’s Department of Cola and Industrial Solvents, and its new product, Twitch. It’s the only cola on the market that counteracts loss of motor function by producing uncontrollable muscle spasms. We can’t tell you the secret ingredient, but it rhymes with Mystal Ceth.

Side Effects may include:

Vigilant Kidney

Pez Neck

Mahmoud Ahmadinejaw

Methad-O – Newsweek believes in a dangerous new medical phenomena where people can have a physiological addiction to Oprah. Enter Prescott and it’s anti-Oprah dependence treatment. It’s exactly like Methadone, but spelled differently. For less severe talk show dependencies, doctors recommend Tyra-nol.

Side Effects may include:

Mock Turtleneck

Delusions of Grandma

Marzipancreas

 

Vaxadoodle – Dogs can warn of hypoglycemic attack, so Prescott developed the very first dog surgeon. He can help solve any medical problem. Just rub your tumor with Snausages and they’ll go away:

Side Effects may include:

Beast Infection

Rosemary’s Rabies

Jack Russell Derriere

Prescott Sports Malt – Scientists have found that Chocolate Milk is a great sports drink. This is great news for America’s vital thirst quenching industry, which is always looking for new colors to make fluids. Now they can add brown. Prescott’s Sports Malt has everything you need: Electrolytes, potassium, and single malt scotch. And for healthy bones, there’s still plenty of milk in the form of Bailey’s Irish Creme. Now you can replenish your fluids and your courage.

Side Effects may include:

Femoral Jam Banding

Irritating Bowel Syndrome

Chest Pattern Baldness

VAXAMOTHERF$&%INGDRINE – Swearing after an injury may help alleviate pain. Therefore, each capsule contains a specially formulated swear word.

Side Effects may include:

Rectal Departure

Strangulated Narnia

Nine Inch Nails

 

Vaxy Stix – Blue M&Ms have been shown to mend spinal injuries due to the dye Brilliant Blue G. Who knew? Apparently, the folks at Prescott have always known about the healing power of candy. That’s why they are proud to introduce Vaxy Stix. They’re like Pixie Stix, but instead of flavored sugar, they’re filled with ground-up pills swept off the Prescott testing floor.

Side Effects may include:

Navel Decongestion

Joint Custody

Osteopierogies

Vaxbox 360 – Seventy percent of children in the United States have below average levels of Vitamin D, due to lack of exposure to sunlight. Therefore, if kids are spending more time indoors with computers, television, and viedo games, they’ll need an alternate source of Vitamin D. Prescott has provided the answer with their nutrional gaming system. Just hook it up and watch the kids get blasted with ultaviolet radiation.

Side Effects may include:

Gastric Thighpass

Male Pattern Balls

Radiohead

Vaxa-geist – Every woman she have to take hormones, even the dead. Prescott enters the market for the first hormone replacement therapy for lady ghosts. Why do you think they’re haunting us? They’re moody. Plus, it works for ghosts of all ages.

Side Effects may include:

Hairblood

Internal Koolaiding

Barry Manilobes

[toomuchbaloney]

That's hysterical! Thanks for the laugh! @emtb2rn

[GordonGekko, MSN]

On 8/8/2021 at 6:52 PM, FolksBtrippin said:

This is a new job. I’m a nurse manager for children’s group homes and we are told we can’t give an opinion on whether or not parents should consent to vaccinate their children. We can educate but not give an opinion. 

When I educate you, you’re probably going to infer my opinion.

Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

I think nurses should encourage vaccination.  I’m annoyed.

Please share your experience. 

Find a new job.  They are begging people to work everywhere and giving insane money/bonuses

My last hospital chain was openly discriminating against men so I just left.  

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

@emtb2rn wins the internets forever, I am DYING! ?

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

23 hours ago, Alex Kowalcyk said:

If fully informed consent for these "vaccines" were given, I don't believe anybody would choose to receive one.

Where do you live? You didn’t have any covid patients on ventilators? None of your patients died? Are you really an ICU nurse?

I’m a psych nurse and even I had patients die. 

Just buried a 20 year old friend of my niece. 

And my 20 year old son who recovered from covid in February still has not recovered his sense of smell.

I think I understand mRNA vaccines pretty well. And I was a little freaked out but not enough to risk my life with this virus. 

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

47 minutes ago, FolksBtrippin said:

Where do you live? You didn’t have any covid patients on ventilators? None of your patients died? Are you really an ICU nurse?

I’m a psych nurse and even I had patients die. 

Just buried a 20 year old friend of my niece. 

And my 20 year old son who recovered from covid in February still has not recovered his sense of smell.

I think I understand mRNA vaccines pretty well. And I was a little freaked out but not enough to risk my life with this virus. 

I live in a very large Metropolitan area and we currently have NO pediatric ICU beds here or in the surrounding suburbs. We have a lot of hospitals and NO pediatric ICU beds??? This is what's impossible for some people to understand (or at least admit). What happens to the next kid who is in an accident, or gets a ruptured appendix, or some other serious illness??? This idea that the nonvaccinated only hurt themselves is pure BS. 

I find it very hard to believe his post. 

[momoneypls, RN]

"So, I'm not allowed to give any advice regarding whether you decide to vaccinate your child or not."

"My close friend left her nice ER job to go to San Diego Rady to treat all of the covid positive children there, such a shame their parents cannot visit because they aren't vaccinated. They get to FaceTime though, although sometimes it's hard because the children are intubated but it's important that they hear the voices of their parents. My friend is making massive money though, because the burnout from the heartbreak has proven too much for the initial staff and they are gone."

"Yep, never heard of a child getting mortally sick on a vaccine, but Covid? If you ever want to wonder how it affects children, log onto a travel nurse website and see how much they offer for a pediatric ICU nurse." 

 

There.

 

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

On 8/13/2021 at 8:32 PM, jive turkey said:

Please cite a reference or source confirming that I can practice medicine when it comes to vaccines.  I'm receptive to learning what law allows me to administer a drug without an order/standing orders in this country, and start a vaccination clinic without the supervision of a provider.  

 I do appreciate that.  

Despite the information, I personally will never give a drug, not even normal saline without a doctor's order.  If anything happens to them I risk being liable. 

Sigh. No, you aren’t. Flushing a balky IV c saline PRN is a nursing decision thing. Saline is not a drug. Your facility will have a policy on PRN flushing c NS which would have been written by nursing and approved as standard by a joint nursing and medical committee and applies to all patients (possible exceptions for infants/peds/special populations….which would have their own protocols). So stop with the overboard on that. 

As to vaccines, nurses, pharmacists, techs, or whoever give all vaccines in a stand-alone site like a drive through or pharmacy or pop-up in accordance with a clearly-provided protocol (what you might call “standing orders” !) written and promulgated by a public health structure that includes input and responsibility from physicians and nurses.

Clinic or  public health nurses likewise have standing protocols / delegated authority to assess vaccination status and provide them PRN.

Obviously both include responsibility to assess any possible contraindications, specified, which is within the scope of nursing practice too.

Nobody  doing vaccinations is giving a drug without an order or practicing medicine here. You can’t order up a box of Moderna or tdap from Amazon and have people drop by your house or the back of your car in a parking lot to get it.