Parent harassing me in clinic

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Feb 22, 2020

3 minutes ago, KiddoRN73 said:
I am having a situation at work with a parent (who sadly also happens to be a nurse) harassing me in my clinic. CPS was called on her (not by me) at school and she assumes it was me. Don't get me wrong, I would have reported her if I would have thought there was a reason to, but the child told me they had accidentally hurt themself, then changed the story later in the day. Regardless, now Mom keeps coming into my clinic and spewing hate at me. I am being supported by administration, but the situation makes me feel very uneasy. Has anyone else had to deal with this type of issue? What did you do about it?
The school is getting a better security situation next year, but currently anyone can just walk in the front door and get to my clinic.

Is there a security guard or police officer who will help you?

How close is someone who could and would physically help you if she goes nuts?

Maybe you can tell her who reported her. I know that's kind of wrong, but I don't really see why you should be endangered.

Maybe she should be reported to the Nurse licensing Board for unprofessional conduct and to your local Police. She sounds scary.

What is happening with the reason for which someone reported her?

I don't guess a little humor or sweet talk would help.

I would immediately inform the Principal, your boss, etc. of the way this woman is behaving. If she is threatening you, she is breaking the law and you need to protect yourself, so file a police report.

Maybe you could transfer or her child could be transferred to a different school.

Be sure to watch out for your car, family, etc.

KiddoRN73 · Feb 22, 2020

8 minutes ago, Kooky Korky said:
Is there a security guard or police officer who will help you?
How close is someone who could and would physically help you if she goes nuts?
Maybe you can tell her who reported her. I know that's kind of wrong, but I don't really see why you should be endangered.
Maybe she should be reported to the Nurse licensing Board for unprofessional conduct and to your local Police. She sounds scary.
What is happening with the reason for which someone reported her?
I don't guess a little humor or sweet talk would help.
I would immediately inform the Principal, your boss, etc. of the way this woman is behaving. If she is threatening you, she is breaking the law and you need to protect yourself, so file a police report.
Maybe you could transfer or her child could be transferred to a different school.
Be sure to watch out for your car, family, etc.

I'm right near the front office, so they usually jump up when they see her, but she always acts very calm like she's going to apologize, then comes in and starts up on me again.

I did tell her it wasn't me, but then immediately regretted that decision. Even if it had been me she has no right to act this way, and I don't want her thinking I'm saying we're in the wrong in any way. We're all trying to advocate for her child!

I've tried saying that I'm sorry she's in this terrible situation and being sympathetic but she just rolls her eyes at me. She acts very much like she's starting to come unhinged, and that's what scares me. Also, I park in the nurse spot, so I do worry about my vehicle, I'll probably start parking somewhere else.

I thought about calling the caseworker but I'm afraid this will only make the situation worse if they say something to her. I know they are still investigating the case and if she didn't do anything wrong as a nurse this has to feel terrible, knowing your license may also be on the line. In that case, she should be upset with her kid for lying, but if she did do it she can only blame herself. I'm just a scapegoat!

My boss & administration are all supporting me which is great.

It doesn't help she's one of those nurses that feels school nursing is a huge joke although I work solo in a very busy clinic. I could see her trying to retaliate by going to the BON, although I know she has no case.

TriciaJ, RN · Feb 22, 2020

1 hour ago, KiddoRN73 said:
I'm right near the front office, so they usually jump up when they see her, but she always acts very calm like she's going to apologize, then comes in and starts up on me again.
I thought about calling the caseworker but I'm afraid this will only make the situation worse if they say something to her. I know they are still investigating the case and if she didn't do anything wrong as a nurse this has to feel terrible, knowing your license may also be on the line. In that case, she should be upset with her kid for lying, but if she did do it she can only blame herself. I'm just a scapegoat!
My boss & administration are all supporting me which is great.
It doesn't help she's one of those nurses that feels school nursing is a huge joke although I work solo in a very busy clinic. I could see her trying to retaliate by going to the BON, although I know she has no case.

I think it's really crucial that you do not allow yourself to be intimidated by this woman. The fact that admin are jumping up to intercept her and you're considering parking your car elsewhere speaks to how unhinged she must be appearing.

I do believe you (and the school) need to file a police report. I also think an order of protection and being banned from the school might be in order.

I strongly suggest you file a report with the BON. Her lack of behavioural control certainly calls into question her ability to practice nursing safely in any setting. Worrying that she may maliciously report you is even more reason to get there first.

CPS absolutely needs to know about this. Her behaviour is a vital piece of information when assessing her fitness as a parent. Your withholding this out of fear makes you complicit.

Good luck.

Flare, ASN, BSN · Feb 24, 2020

Do not meet with her alone. The excuse of "I'm here to apologize" has run dry. The fact that she is still carrying on and making you (who was not involved in the report) feel threatened is absurd. She should not be allowed to get past the office and wander into your office. What if she were to wander into a classroom and become an even bigger security threat. I agree with the thought that perhaps the police may need to take a report.

SaltineQueen · Feb 24, 2020

Your admin needs to absolutely step into the middle here (literally) and tell this woman that her behavior will not be tolerated. I'd even go so far as to tell her that next time they will call the SRO or local police to have her removed from the premises. If she makes threats against you, file a police report.

tining, BSN, RN · Feb 24, 2020

Your school can absolutely ban her from campus and or your office. You have proof to back that up. If not and she continues her inappropriate behavior you need to stand your ground. "Ma'm, when you can speak to me in a better tone, I will not be spoken to like this. I have heard and understand your point and I have no answers for you. This is the last time I will speak with you about this subject." Walk away. NEVER apologize, you did nothing wrong. I do not like when women apologize for something they did not do.

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/16/saying-im-sorry-can-make-people-think-poorly-of-you-research-heres-what-successful-people-do-instead.html

Wuzzie · Feb 24, 2020

On 2/22/2020 at 11:18 AM, KiddoRN73 said:
My boss & administration are all supporting me which is great.

But they aren't supporting you if she is still getting into your office. You need to file a police report...like yesterday.

ihavealltheice · Feb 24, 2020

No one should be allowing her to come by you whether or not she looks like she will apologize. At this point, it's either a ban from campus or a police report/order of protection. Admin should work with you and support you with this. I can't believe that the police have not gotten involved by now.

If she does come in, you have all right to politely get up and walk away if you don't have students in your office.

I do also agree with the TriciaJ in that CPS should know about this harassment as well. This woman obviously isn't building herself a great case by coming in and harassing you.

ruby_jane, BSN, RN · Feb 24, 2020

I have nothing more to add but I send you hugs. You might check with someone higher than the principal in the district to see if there is anything (I am thinking restraining order) that can be done. Do you have a SRO? Can that person be called?

nursex23, BSN, RN · Feb 24, 2020

YOU NEED TO FILE A POLICE REPORT!!! This needs to be on record in case she becomes violent or vandalizes your car.

llg, PhD, RN · Feb 24, 2020

Strongly agree that you should file a police report -- and pursue whatever needs to be done to keep her away from you and from the school. I would think that law enforcement (and the justice system in general) would respond fairly aggressively in response to a complaint that an angry person not totally under control was entering the school repeatedly.