Orlando Tragedy - "Why Does It Bother You So Much?"
Because a nurse I am friends with asked me why it mattered so much to me... I thought I would share this with all of you as well. LGBTQ culture is one of shared experiences. In the same way that nursing culture exists, so does LGBTQ. In the wake of the tragedy in Orlando, I find myself needing an outlet to express the fear and sadness that comes with it. My hope is in doing so, I can help those who do not know or understand the culture, get a small glimpse into it from my perspective.
This past weekend is still something that has struck fear into the core of my community, even though I live on the other side of the country. I'm not going to debate about how it could have been prevented, because hindsight is always 20/20. I'm not going to debate it because there are as many different ideas on how to prevent it as there are people who know about it. What I want to do is expose myself, and explain why something that happened so far away from me could affect me on such a personal level.
No matter what you call it, LGBT(Q,+,A), QUILTBAG, or my personal favorite Alphabet Soup Gang... there is a community out there for those of us who don't quite fit the norm. My favorite comes from the fact that we are all a bit alike, all a little different, and we're all floating in this big huge bowl we call Earth. Also the letters change all the time depending on who you talk to and if I am going to offend someone for using the wrong ones, at least I'm going down in style.
I get a little flack at times from the community, at times, for not getting it, because "you pass... no one knows unless you choose to tell them." See, I'm not what most people think of when they think of the LGBTQ. Mostly because I don't get all twiterpatted when I see someone posed in what someone would consider sexual nature. My response tends more towards "Oh... look at that... "and insert interesting bit of biology about their tattoo, a mole, or the muscle structure. I'm someone who dates for romance and companionship instead of physical attraction. I was married when I was younger. I'm Christian. I can easily come off as heterosexual with no time or too conservative to join the local dating scene. Personally I don't care about someone's gender. I date people for being interesting and kind hearted with similar interests. In the community I'm often referred to as panromantic. I don't usually bother with a label though.
At the same time, I've also been on the receiving end of attacks from people mad at me for not being interested in them. Be it because how dare I not be attracted, or because they think I just haven't met the right person yet, or just because I find comfort being around the others with the same experiences. Many of my first experiences out into the world involved going to the local "gay bar" to sing karaoke with all the other people who just didn't feel like they fit society's expectations for them. Going to a friend's place to support them because someone had threatened them.
Our culture, as a community comes from the places and experiences we have been through. We've had the awkward conversations with medical professionals when they ask if we are sexually active and the follow up is about birth control or pregnancy, and we end up outing ourselves to strangers who are not always understanding. We've been bullied for similar reasons. Been told we don't really exist. That we're going through a phase. Sometimes by the medical community itself. We trade names of providers who are "safe" like most people trade the titles of their favorite books.
It bothers me because... those people who were hurt and died... I have a common thread to them. I cried when I found out what happened. Those people were someone's child, parent, cousin, friend... They remind me of my own monkey sphere of people I know. Even if it hadn't been people I know... I've seen the threats towards LGBTQ and Muslim students at my school. I go to an awesome school in a progressive area. We are great and inclusive and that things like that still happen... is scary. It bothers me that media wants to focus on who did it and how, rather than the bright and brilliant people who are lost to the community.
It's something that should bother everyone. It should bother us all. Today it was the LGBTQ community. It's happening in black communities. It happens in our schools. Even if we have no personal connection to what has happened, it should at the very least bother us, because who is to know what the next target of choice will be. If we can't find a way to be bothered that people died because someone's personally held belief was so strong they felt it was alright to kill someone... even if we disagree with the person's lifestyle, they didn't deserve this. No one does, and that bothers me.
Let's see...NRA has made it so guns...unlike every other health hazard...can NEVER be studied...unlike...oh...let's see...HIV...auto safety...medication administration...so actually all points are basically moot until we look at the "problem" through the lens of actual scientific fact...emotional arguments in all direction make for good theater but nothing more.
What disgusts me most is the Barack HUSSEIN Obama presents this as a gun issue. The issue at hand is radicalized Muslims. I can spot a conflict of interest from miles away.
The fact that this was an attack on LGBT individuals is extraneous to the big issue at hand.
It's really easy to forget that not all mass shootings are radicalized Muslims.
Umpqua Community College-Shooter was a caucasian, American, former military, anti religious
Charleston-Shooter was caucasian American, with a history of hate speech against AA community
Navel Yard-Shooter African American, American born, former military
Could continue, but better things to do with my time, like binge watch Netflix for summer break.
Mass shootings do not have to have any sort of Islamic tie, and often do not.
Let's see...NRA has made it so guns...unlike every other health hazard...can NEVER be studied...unlike...oh...let's see...HIV...auto safety...medication administration...so actually all points are basically moot until we look at the "problem" through the lens of actual scientific fact...emotional arguments in all direction make for good theater but nothing more.
you can study guns, but you can't use taxpayer dollars to advocate for gun control.
Why do you think the "gun violence" figures always include suicides?
because It's a bigger, sexier number for those advocating a position.
just like the "mass shooting tracker" includes a "mass shooting" committed with a pellet-gun.
The NRA is just evening the playing field with the billionaires on the other side of the issue.
There's nothing nefarious about a few million people contributing $20 to get their views heard.
The fact that *one person* can toss 100 million dollars at an issue & legislate via checkbook, like Michael Bloomberg has - is the troubling issue.
We do have "Kings" in this country, as much as we try to deny it.
Specializes in Cath/EP lab, CCU, Cardiac stepdown.
I don't understand it. Why can't this be an American thing and a LGBTQ thing too? In what way does it take away from anything by claiming to be either or both?
And also yes heterosexuals don't call attacks on the general public a heterosexual attack because they are not being targeted. That whole equal and equal crap is just bull. Do you honestly believe that the terror inflicted is the same across? We are all afraid of another terrorist attack but Because of this I am afraid of terrorist attacks as an American but I am also afraid of attacks because of homophobia. As the majority, the society's norm, heterosexuals do not face the same challenges that those of the lgbtq face. They do not have the same fears that we do. Tel me about equal now. This was a planned attack on a specific population. He specifically targeted the lgbtq community so yes it was a hate crime, he has claimed allegiance to ISIS, so yes this was an attack against Americans.
I don't understand it. Why can't this be an American thing and a LGBTQ thing too? In what way does it take away from anything by claiming to be either or both?
This happened on American soil, so in a way, it is an American issue. The shooter was born and raised in America, so in a way, it's an American issue. I will be the last person to say that if you are straight/cis/hetero American you can't be upset, because I believe everyone should be upset about it.
That being said.. while it is an American issue.. for the LGBT community it's part of our lives. It's not just a one time issue. There's fear of losing family, friends, and support networks if people come out. There's bullying, teasing, and outright attacks for it. There is a large and very vocal subsection of at least one religion (and it isn't Islam) that loves to tell us that we are terrible people for who we are. It's more than a thing.
Be upset. Relate to it how you can. Remember that when others try to push that it's an American thing though, that the fact that it was a targeted attack against a group that already deals with threats on a regular basis, is often erased. So people will get upset if you try to make this purely about it being an attack against Americans.
What disgusts me most is the Barack HUSSEIN Obama presents this as a gun issue. The issue at hand is radicalized Muslims. I can spot a conflict of interest from miles away.
The fact that this was an attack on LGBT individuals is extraneous to the big issue at hand.
Candy crush has addled your brain - the thread is about the Orlando murders, not Obama.
This is all very sad. The fact that so many PEOPLE died is tragic. They were American, gay, black, white - does not matter. Some rotten bastard had a bad day, and did this.
What puzzles me, is so many folks trying to be politically correct about what do you call this. Terrorism? Hate crime? Muslim jihad? Who cares, no matter what you call it, it will not go away. Never will it go away. Politicians can give us fancy speeches, some rip their shirts in passionate talk, does not matter. Trump or Hillary - does not matter, THEY CAN'T HANDLE THIS. Let's pray it does not go nuclear.
I dont go around saying but that was a heterosexual theater or building!! I bet there were heterosexual people in that club that night as I know sometimes I would go out with my homosexual friends to party back in the day when I did party.
You think the lgbt community WANTS to have the very few spaces they can feel safe in, and do activities in to be called "gay" this, "gay" that. I know you had good intentions, but I find that contradicting that. And yes there were heterosexual people in that club. But the majority were lgbt people, which is why the lgbt community is grieving. It's not like nobody is mourning for the heterosexual people, they are mourning for all of the people. There are certain life experiences that people connect through, and I know VERY few LGBT people that have experienced nothing but love their entire life from everyone they meet. The fact of the matter is, it could be any one of us. We can be walking down the street with our significant other holding hands and that could be our last day. We could be going to a night club that feels like a safe space to dance and be yourself, where as going to a mainly heterosexual club you never know what might happen if you do that. I understand you seem supportive of LGBT people, but not all people are. I'm not here to discuss the "plight" of the lgbt community but this was a targeted attack. Let a community grieve, and you can grieve with or without them, but don't negate the fear this has driven into LGBT people.
And everyone using this thread and this entire situation to discuss gun laws and such, please stop. It takes away a lot from the seriousness and emotions people have regarding this tragedy. Stop pushing political agendas on posts about a MASS SHOOTING of a targeted community.
I've been around for some years now and frankly, I see something special in all people, with very few exceptions.
The whole word is in turmoil. What constitutes a family and moral values are shifting. Mental illness seems to be on the rise and there is less help available to those in need than ever before in modern times. Economies almost everywhere are running into a cement wall at breakneck speed. Islamic jihad proponents and others are devaluing the sanctity and value of human life. These cowards crucify and burn to death little children and torture to death newborns. These sorts are having an impact on vulnerable misfits everywhere in the world. Why should we be surprised at carnage against the innocents at any time and in any place and in any way? Nurses often stand between the vulnerable and defenseless and a cruel system. We see the Orlando folks who were butchered as defenseless in many ways, I think. Nurses often love the unloved. Some of us see the folks who were butchered as unloved within society I think. It has come to a time when heavily armed and trained security or military be employed at all public places. Whether guns, bombs, release of deadly chemicals, group burning, etc., as the vehicle for death and maiming, this type of behavior will continue in this very upside down world.
malamud69, BSN, RN
575 Posts
Let's see...NRA has made it so guns...unlike every other health hazard...can NEVER be studied...unlike...oh...let's see...HIV...auto safety...medication administration...so actually all points are basically moot until we look at the "problem" through the lens of actual scientific fact...emotional arguments in all direction make for good theater but nothing more.