Orlando Tragedy - "Why Does It Bother You So Much?"
Because a nurse I am friends with asked me why it mattered so much to me... I thought I would share this with all of you as well. LGBTQ culture is one of shared experiences. In the same way that nursing culture exists, so does LGBTQ. In the wake of the tragedy in Orlando, I find myself needing an outlet to express the fear and sadness that comes with it. My hope is in doing so, I can help those who do not know or understand the culture, get a small glimpse into it from my perspective.
This past weekend is still something that has struck fear into the core of my community, even though I live on the other side of the country. I'm not going to debate about how it could have been prevented, because hindsight is always 20/20. I'm not going to debate it because there are as many different ideas on how to prevent it as there are people who know about it. What I want to do is expose myself, and explain why something that happened so far away from me could affect me on such a personal level.
No matter what you call it, LGBT(Q,+,A), QUILTBAG, or my personal favorite Alphabet Soup Gang... there is a community out there for those of us who don't quite fit the norm. My favorite comes from the fact that we are all a bit alike, all a little different, and we're all floating in this big huge bowl we call Earth. Also the letters change all the time depending on who you talk to and if I am going to offend someone for using the wrong ones, at least I'm going down in style.
I get a little flack at times from the community, at times, for not getting it, because "you pass... no one knows unless you choose to tell them." See, I'm not what most people think of when they think of the LGBTQ. Mostly because I don't get all twiterpatted when I see someone posed in what someone would consider sexual nature. My response tends more towards "Oh... look at that... "and insert interesting bit of biology about their tattoo, a mole, or the muscle structure. I'm someone who dates for romance and companionship instead of physical attraction. I was married when I was younger. I'm Christian. I can easily come off as heterosexual with no time or too conservative to join the local dating scene. Personally I don't care about someone's gender. I date people for being interesting and kind hearted with similar interests. In the community I'm often referred to as panromantic. I don't usually bother with a label though.
At the same time, I've also been on the receiving end of attacks from people mad at me for not being interested in them. Be it because how dare I not be attracted, or because they think I just haven't met the right person yet, or just because I find comfort being around the others with the same experiences. Many of my first experiences out into the world involved going to the local "gay bar" to sing karaoke with all the other people who just didn't feel like they fit society's expectations for them. Going to a friend's place to support them because someone had threatened them.
Our culture, as a community comes from the places and experiences we have been through. We've had the awkward conversations with medical professionals when they ask if we are sexually active and the follow up is about birth control or pregnancy, and we end up outing ourselves to strangers who are not always understanding. We've been bullied for similar reasons. Been told we don't really exist. That we're going through a phase. Sometimes by the medical community itself. We trade names of providers who are "safe" like most people trade the titles of their favorite books.
It bothers me because... those people who were hurt and died... I have a common thread to them. I cried when I found out what happened. Those people were someone's child, parent, cousin, friend... They remind me of my own monkey sphere of people I know. Even if it hadn't been people I know... I've seen the threats towards LGBTQ and Muslim students at my school. I go to an awesome school in a progressive area. We are great and inclusive and that things like that still happen... is scary. It bothers me that media wants to focus on who did it and how, rather than the bright and brilliant people who are lost to the community.
It's something that should bother everyone. It should bother us all. Today it was the LGBTQ community. It's happening in black communities. It happens in our schools. Even if we have no personal connection to what has happened, it should at the very least bother us, because who is to know what the next target of choice will be. If we can't find a way to be bothered that people died because someone's personally held belief was so strong they felt it was alright to kill someone... even if we disagree with the person's lifestyle, they didn't deserve this. No one does, and that bothers me.
From what I've read the shooter was motivated by several kinds of hatred. I think to not make some point of his hatred of gay people does equal rights a disservice. Gay people are not treated equally in America and we need to acknowledge that, hate is the problem.
When people are hurt, abused, or killed out of hate - I can't describe the feeling it gives me. It's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't understand how people can hurt or kill each other.
When I was growing up (I'm in my late thirties) I remember hearing stories of kids getting beat up and killed just for being gay. I never understood that. I don't get why people care so much about whether a person is gay or not. It seems like I haven't heard so much of those stories in the last few years. I didn't know if it wasn't a hot topic and not being reported or if people are changing. I thought with all the support of gay marriage that maybe things are changing.
For a long time I've thought that my oldest child is gay. I want my son to have his first kiss, his first date, etc. and live his life with all the rights that straight people have and I don't know how that'll happen. That is so wrong.
I'm scared for my son, I'm worried that he'll be attacked simply for being gay. I can't stand the thought of him getting beat up or worse. I'm a mama bear, I will do anything to protect him and keep him safe, but at some point I have to cut the strings and let him be his own person. I think I'll always be scared for him.
We went to a party a couple weeks ago and I saw a group of dads talking that were at one point looking at my son. (He is one of those people that you figure is gay the first time you see, people have asked me right after meeting him) I didn't like the way they looked at him. I didn't know for sure, but I thought I saw hate. He's a child! How can you hate a child???!!!
The other thing that bothers me is that these were mostly just young people going out and having fun. It's beyond sad that young people can't just go to school or out to a club without worrying about getting shot! When I was a kid I just went out and did my thing, I never had to worry about that.
We need change in this country. I want my kids to have the safety I did (or thought I did) when I was growing up.
All responses, except VerticalHorizion, make valid points. I have very close relatives who are gay. However...I don't know, I live on the west coast....it just didn't resonate with me as much?
On the other hand, my husband used to work at the San Bernardino Regional Center. We felt very affected when we heard the news of that shooting. He had left over 30 years ago, and the office had moved to that new location after he had left. But still, the physical/emotional closeness of it made that shooting affect me more than the Pulse shooting.
It was another horrible American tragedy. I can't understand why any civilian needs a semi automatic rifle that fires 24 shots in 9 seconds?????????????????????
The answer is simple: A citizen defender needs a semi-automatic rifle with a fast rate of fire to put out the threat quickly and efficiently. We do not live in the era of muskets and one-shot loaders and thus we the people need modern means and adequate tools for self-defense.
If you never fired a weapon or understand why there is need for it, perhaps you should look at Paris, France and their recent terrorist attacks. In France there's a ban on most gun ownership and yet this did not stop the terrorists from using black market weapons to commit heinous crime against unarmed sitting ducks. If there was at least one person present with a semi-auto rifle (not a military grade BTW) and a couple of mags, the odds would not have been in a favor of attackers
If you look at Israel, you would see that both genders of populace, without regard to sexual orientation serve in the military and know how to use a gun. This is vital to their survival and self-defense against Islamic radical extremists.
While I'm a big fan of self defense and fighting back, I'm wondering what would really happen if the communities most at risk from gun violence/hate crimes proceeded to arm themselves. LGBT, communities of color, Muslim communities (at least these days), poor communities ... I strongly suspect that many "good guy with a gun" proponents' heads would explode. I recall that after one of the many recent police shootings in a Black community, an armed self-defense advocate started trying to convince the people to arm themselves. He intended to empower people, that was clear, but "the people" looked at him like he was crazy ... didn't he know that a minority person with a gun has a target on his/her back?
After all, that's what the Black Panthers and (to a lesser extent) Black Muslims (as opposed to mainstream Islam) were doing back in the seventies. In fact, the Panthers used the same Second Amendment argument we're hearing so much about now ... and look at what happened to them.
Liberal progressives usually don't keep an open mind. I do agree with your opinion though: One can't blame an inanimate object and not its operator.
It's like trying to blame a car and not the driver if I drove it into a supermarket. There is no logic in it.
Yeah ... but the driver is unlikely to keep his license and probably shouldn't have access to a car until he can show that his skills and judgement have improved.
Please don't ignore the evidence that the guy was probably a closet case suffering from homosexual panic. He used ISIS's religious homophobia to rationalize both his hate and his suicide-by-cop. The homophobia connection is reinforced by at least one Christian minister preaching from the pulpit that the death toll was "tragically" too low, that more homos should have been killed.
Both interpretations are correct and, if you have no connection to lgbt community, it's entirely reasonable that the jihadist connection would resonate more foryou. The OP had an entirely different relationship with the lgbt community that also deserves respect.
If you were Jewish and your synagogue's congregation was killed in a jihadist terrorist attack, would you accept being told that you aren't allowed to mourn for them or talk about anti-semitism because "the attack was against Americans"?
Arguing about "ownership" is ridiculous and demeaning for both sides. It only serves to block any real learning or connection between different communities. (On the other hand, maybe that's the whole point of this phony controversy.)
Your perception of this crime is reasonable and valid. It is not an excuse to make invisible our history of lethal hate crimes against lgbt citizens or pretend that homophobia had nothing to do with it. It's not such a long time since homosexual panic was seriously considered a valid defense for murder.
Yeah ... but the driver is unlikely to keep his license and probably shouldn't have access to a car until he can show that his skills and judgement have improved.
I know where this is going.
Having no license never stopped anyone from operating a vehicle. If you are on your own land, you don't even need a license to operate a vehicle - that's a known fact. Over the road - yes.
Lack of demonstrable competence to operate a motor vehicle never stopped anyone from driving and hurting someone either. You may want to check California's law on issuing licenses to illegal immigrants. That'll tell you.
Lastly, in reference to this thread, Orlando shooter was a licensed security contractor and passed all background checks and yet that did not stop him in carrying out his horrific crime. He was intent on doing it.
Conversely, criminals or potential evil-doers would never come in to the public office and demand that they be licensed and certified in operating their chosen tool of destruction.
the guy who did this passed multiple background checks.
He enrolled in a police academy a couple of times.
He worked at a courthouse for years, making sure *you* don't have anything pointy in your pockets, but he had a gun in his pocket & enough hatred to use it against unarmed people.
You're thinking like "terrorists" aren't intelligent, moving targets - that's a huge weakness.
The guys who did 9/11 went to *flight* school - even without box cutters, they could have "hijacked" a plane with only slightly more effort than they expended initially, simply by finishing the school & getting a job with the airlines. And that actually happened after 9/11 - a pilot intentionally flew a plane full of passengers into the ocean.
Every single thing we did during/after 9/11 was wrong.
Flight crews told told passengers to sit down & shut up & do what the hijackers wanted.
We passed a law after 9/11 making disobeying a flight attendant a felony.
We had people on the PA in the World Trade Center telling those who decided for themselves to evacuate the second tower after the first tower was hit to "go back to your cubes".. Anyone who followed those orders died. Anyone who thought for themselves had a chance at survival.
You are responsible for your own safety.
You live in a "free" country, not a "safe" country.
There is risk in that.
Dumbing the entire country down & surrendering all of your freedoms & privacy won't stop the terrorists.
They "win" every time an 80-something old lady gets hassled & manhandled by the TSA because she's got a replacement hip or knee. The next time you're passing through a TSA checkpoint, look to the side & see who's getting their purses tossed & extra wand treatment. It isn't 20-30-40 something males (who might actually pose a threat) - it's little old men & shriveled up old ladies in wheelchairs or with replacement joints.
The bottom line is the shooter in this case was already a rent-a-cop, and any gun laws always have carve-outs for LEO's. If he'd have shown just a teensy-bit more restraint & decorum in his behavior, he could have been the fox guarding the henhouse with a legally-sanctioned fully-auto weapon, despite any laws you pass today. Remember Chris Dorner? Cop with a legal assault rifle (and silencers, and legal high-cap mags!) in the most gun-banningist state in the country.
Terrorists aren't stupid & they'll walk around any laws you pass just fine, without missing a beat. Murder is already illegal. You can't make it illegal-er, but you can disarm good people & make them prey. You *can* surrender your freedom for nothing & that's what the pols are asking you to do.
The only thing that will stop them is a citizenry that's ready, willing & able to rip them limb-from-limb when they try their stunts.
heron, ASN, RN
4,640 Posts
deleted - responded to wrong poster - sorry:o