Orlando Tragedy - "Why Does It Bother You So Much?"

Because a nurse I am friends with asked me why it mattered so much to me... I thought I would share this with all of you as well. LGBTQ culture is one of shared experiences. In the same way that nursing culture exists, so does LGBTQ. In the wake of the tragedy in Orlando, I find myself needing an outlet to express the fear and sadness that comes with it. My hope is in doing so, I can help those who do not know or understand the culture, get a small glimpse into it from my perspective. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

This past weekend is still something that has struck fear into the core of my community, even though I live on the other side of the country. I'm not going to debate about how it could have been prevented, because hindsight is always 20/20. I'm not going to debate it because there are as many different ideas on how to prevent it as there are people who know about it. What I want to do is expose myself, and explain why something that happened so far away from me could affect me on such a personal level.

No matter what you call it, LGBT(Q,+,A), QUILTBAG, or my personal favorite Alphabet Soup Gang... there is a community out there for those of us who don't quite fit the norm. My favorite comes from the fact that we are all a bit alike, all a little different, and we're all floating in this big huge bowl we call Earth. Also the letters change all the time depending on who you talk to and if I am going to offend someone for using the wrong ones, at least I'm going down in style.

I get a little flack at times from the community, at times, for not getting it, because "you pass... no one knows unless you choose to tell them." See, I'm not what most people think of when they think of the LGBTQ. Mostly because I don't get all twiterpatted when I see someone posed in what someone would consider sexual nature. My response tends more towards "Oh... look at that... "and insert interesting bit of biology about their tattoo, a mole, or the muscle structure. I'm someone who dates for romance and companionship instead of physical attraction. I was married when I was younger. I'm Christian. I can easily come off as heterosexual with no time or too conservative to join the local dating scene. Personally I don't care about someone's gender. I date people for being interesting and kind hearted with similar interests. In the community I'm often referred to as panromantic. I don't usually bother with a label though.

At the same time, I've also been on the receiving end of attacks from people mad at me for not being interested in them. Be it because how dare I not be attracted, or because they think I just haven't met the right person yet, or just because I find comfort being around the others with the same experiences. Many of my first experiences out into the world involved going to the local "gay bar" to sing karaoke with all the other people who just didn't feel like they fit society's expectations for them. Going to a friend's place to support them because someone had threatened them.

Our culture, as a community comes from the places and experiences we have been through. We've had the awkward conversations with medical professionals when they ask if we are sexually active and the follow up is about birth control or pregnancy, and we end up outing ourselves to strangers who are not always understanding. We've been bullied for similar reasons. Been told we don't really exist. That we're going through a phase. Sometimes by the medical community itself. We trade names of providers who are "safe" like most people trade the titles of their favorite books.

It bothers me because... those people who were hurt and died... I have a common thread to them. I cried when I found out what happened. Those people were someone's child, parent, cousin, friend... They remind me of my own monkey sphere of people I know. Even if it hadn't been people I know... I've seen the threats towards LGBTQ and Muslim students at my school. I go to an awesome school in a progressive area. We are great and inclusive and that things like that still happen... is scary. It bothers me that media wants to focus on who did it and how, rather than the bright and brilliant people who are lost to the community.

It's something that should bother everyone. It should bother us all. Today it was the LGBTQ community. It's happening in black communities. It happens in our schools. Even if we have no personal connection to what has happened, it should at the very least bother us, because who is to know what the next target of choice will be. If we can't find a way to be bothered that people died because someone's personally held belief was so strong they felt it was alright to kill someone... even if we disagree with the person's lifestyle, they didn't deserve this. No one does, and that bothers me.

Gun Free Zones need to be re examined. If they were allowed to carry guns inside the club then they are not sitting ducks. But also drinking a lot and carrying a gun isn't a good either.

You can put up metal detector at public places and have pat downs, but it is still pretty easy to hid a gun and get past security.

We have let a lot of bad people in the USA, Fairly easy to get a visa here. Only good plan I can think of is to isolate ISIS targets around the world and destroy them

Up Vote Up Vote ×
This was a terrorist attack against the United States of America. Americans. That's what bothers me about this event. The particular target was an LGTB club. If it were a Cuban themed club or an African American Church or a Catholic church or a Chinese restaurant, the attack would have been the same: against Americans. There is danger here in one group taking possession of it as their own, and I think that's what is happening.

While I utterly agree that this is a terrorist attack, I don't agree it was an attack on Americans. The shooter targeted an LGBT club. A place we go for our safety. Something that exists because being LGBT at a regular night club is not always a safe thing.

Those not in the LGBT community died as well. They certainly sympathized with that community, but that wasn't everyone's identity. What truly ties everyone together that died, their moms and dads, their families, the community is that they, we, are all Americans.

We call them Allies.

Not all of them were American. Victims came from as far as South Africa. One of the victims had a nursing degree and worked as a tech. One of the victims was getting ready to move to Tampa to start nursing school.

These people don't need a reason to kill us. Whatever particular circumstance in which we die is coincidental. Yes, he specifically chose that club because of its culture. Just like Fort Hood, and just like San Bernadino and New York and on and on and on. What counts is our American-ness.

And yet he had a reason. Many mass shooters have a reason. An American born citizen chose to shoot at other Americans because he thought that his beliefs trumped their rights to live unharmed.

Divvying up and laying claim to murderous assaults like this by different groups is dismissive of the true threat that exists and in a way invalidates the loss of those who just happened to be killed along with the rest that didn't belong to the "targeted group". And that's not right.

This shouldn't be a LGBT thing. Its an American thing.

When the targets were chosen purely because they attended an event in an LGBT space, it makes it a thing. When I go places to find hate speech, including death threats against the LGBT it's a thing. When I'm not shocked someone did this because of the threats and attacks that came before, then yes,it's a thing. Claiming it's about Americans is like those claiming "All Lives Matter." Sure, all lives do, but in trying to redirect like that, it tries to negate a very real experience.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

So I identify with the victims as people, but not MY people, if that makes sense.

Pan/bi erasure can certainly be a thing. I completely understand those who choose not to identify with the community and respect that side of it as well.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in BSN, RN-BC, NREMT, EMT-P, TCRN.
All responses, except VerticalHorizion, make valid points. I have very close relatives who are gay. However...I don't know, I live on the west coast....it just didn't resonate with me as much?

On the other hand, my husband used to work at the San Bernardino Regional Center. We felt very affected when we heard the news of that shooting. He had left over 30 years ago, and the office had moved to that new location after he had left. But still, the physical/emotional closeness of it made that shooting affect me more than the Pulse shooting.

It was another horrible American tragedy. I can't understand why any civilian needs a semi automatic rifle that fires 24 shots in 9 seconds?????????????????????

It does not fire 24 shots in 9 seconds. It fires 1 shot per pull of the trigger just like a pistol or revolver. Don't believe the misinformation.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Mental illness is the cause and doing more to help treat it will do more good. I do not know what the answer is to stop all these killings and do not believe any one else does. I can only pray that hate will be replaced by love.

I'm not a huge fan of using mental health, or a history of mental health issues/dx to "explain" why things like this happen. Yes, I do believe we need to do more for those who need mental health services, and that we need to work on removing the stigma for seeking help, we also need to do other things as well. The shooter did a number of things that makes it seem he was going for going down in the biggest blaze of glory he could manage for example. The media has taken it and run. Most media is about him, his life, how could this have gone so badly. Media has been told repeatedly this feeds into the cycle of mass shooters by giving the shooter more fame. Instead, it's suggested that media should focus on the victims, humanizing then, not referring to them as numbers.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

For all those talking about gun regulation in some way shape or form, it is a subject I have opinions on, but I feel that there are better places to have that conversation, like over in the breakroom. We've had conversations here on the site before on things like conceal carry, which have been interesting. I just don't want to make this conversation about guns.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care and ED.

Saying this attack wasn't an attack against gay people is almost as ridiculous as saying the attack wasn't the result of Islamic terrorism. Until we can call a spade a spade and identify things as they are, we are going to be unable to work through it and this is what got Europe into a whole heap of trouble. It WAS an attack on exclusively gay people. This guy was obviously fixated on our community and had some real issues. I'm quite sure mental health played a large part in his actions too, as he obviously had problems from a young age. I don't believe for a minute he was a "closet case". I believe he was baiting and retrieving intel about gay people so he could find a way to hurt us the most. This is a multi-faceted attack with many layers to it. It was primarily an attack on gay people, but it was also an attack in the name of Isis, AND I believe the guy was nuts. I get really mad when I hear "it wasn't a gay thing" because we've lived with nothing but hate and opposition since the dawn of time, and this was OUR community and we're going to own it, claim it and get mad about it. The absolute best thing to come out of this is that we finally get to talk about the hate....the never ending and usually silent hate. We're done with the silence. Now we get to yell.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I find the claim that this was Islamic terrorism to be... iffy at best. It's like claiming that the Westboro Baptist Church is Christian. I guess technically it's true, but they aren't very good at it. I work with a number of people who are Muslim at work. The threats against the LGBTQ community have also been levied at the Islamic community as well. Right now, it's Ramadan, one of the two major holidays for the Muslim community. The impression I've gotten from those in my community (and correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not Muslim, this is just the impression I get) is a general sense of horror that someone claiming to be Muslim as why he did this horrible thing is rather shocking to them as well

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care and ED.
I find the claim that this was Islamic terrorism to be... iffy at best. It's like claiming that the Westboro Baptist Church is Christian. I guess technically it's true, but they aren't very good at it. I work with a number of people who are Muslim at work. The threats against the LGBTQ community have also been levied at the Islamic community as well. Right now, it's Ramadan, one of the two major holidays for the Muslim community. The impression I've gotten from those in my community (and correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not Muslim, this is just the impression I get) is a general sense of horror that someone claiming to be Muslim as why he did this horrible thing is rather shocking to them as well

Sorry, but that's absurd, seeing as the transcripts from his call to 911 specifically made claim to Isis and that his attack was in direct response to American action in Syria. He also had writings and notes about Anwar al-Awlaki in his car who is known to be the terrorist that inspired the 911 terrorists. But let's just keep pretending that it isn't happening like in Europe...that's working out great for them.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Sorry, but that's absurd, seeing as the transcripts from his call to 911 specifically made claim to Isis and that his attack was in direct response to American action in Syria. He also had writings and notes about Anwar al-Awlaki in his car who is known to be the terrorist that inspired the 911 terrorists. But let's just keep pretending that it isn't happening like in Europe...that's working out great for them.

This was committed by a sick, hateful individual with no contact or support from any outside organization. If you call all mass shootings terrorism I'm game. To me, shooting women because they won't sleep with you is terrorism. Shooting people because they're black is terrorism. Shooting people because they're LGBT is terrorism. There is a worldwide problem with LGBT intolerance regardless of religion, but we have a very American cultural problem with frequent mass shootings.

Keep in mind that map only covers two years of events.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Sorry, but that's absurd, seeing as the transcripts from his call to 911 specifically made claim to Isis and that his attack was in direct response to American action in Syria. He also had writings and notes about Anwar al-Awlaki in his car who is known to be the terrorist that inspired the 911 terrorists. But let's just keep pretending that it isn't happening like in Europe...that's working out great for them.

Or he was a man looking to increase his impact by claiming that connection. How faster to get people to talk about you than claiming to be a member of a group most have little understanding of but fear. Perhaps it was that he was delusional. We don't know for sure. Giving him the same he was seeing though... that could lead to more.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
All responses, except VerticalHorizion, make valid points. I have very close relatives who are gay. However...I don't know, I live on the west coast....it just didn't resonate with me as much?

On the other hand, my husband used to work at the San Bernardino Regional Center. We felt very affected when we heard the news of that shooting. He had left over 30 years ago, and the office had moved to that new location after he had left. But still, the physical/emotional closeness of it made that shooting affect me more than the Pulse shooting.

It was another horrible American tragedy. I can't understand why any civilian needs a semi automatic rifle that fires 24 shots in 9 seconds?????????????????????

So because you don't agree with my opinion it makes it invalid? Thanks for keeping an open mind.

Up Vote Up Vote ×