Orlando Tragedy - "Why Does It Bother You So Much?"
Because a nurse I am friends with asked me why it mattered so much to me... I thought I would share this with all of you as well. LGBTQ culture is one of shared experiences. In the same way that nursing culture exists, so does LGBTQ. In the wake of the tragedy in Orlando, I find myself needing an outlet to express the fear and sadness that comes with it. My hope is in doing so, I can help those who do not know or understand the culture, get a small glimpse into it from my perspective.
This past weekend is still something that has struck fear into the core of my community, even though I live on the other side of the country. I'm not going to debate about how it could have been prevented, because hindsight is always 20/20. I'm not going to debate it because there are as many different ideas on how to prevent it as there are people who know about it. What I want to do is expose myself, and explain why something that happened so far away from me could affect me on such a personal level.
No matter what you call it, LGBT(Q,+,A), QUILTBAG, or my personal favorite Alphabet Soup Gang... there is a community out there for those of us who don't quite fit the norm. My favorite comes from the fact that we are all a bit alike, all a little different, and we're all floating in this big huge bowl we call Earth. Also the letters change all the time depending on who you talk to and if I am going to offend someone for using the wrong ones, at least I'm going down in style.
I get a little flack at times from the community, at times, for not getting it, because "you pass... no one knows unless you choose to tell them." See, I'm not what most people think of when they think of the LGBTQ. Mostly because I don't get all twiterpatted when I see someone posed in what someone would consider sexual nature. My response tends more towards "Oh... look at that... "and insert interesting bit of biology about their tattoo, a mole, or the muscle structure. I'm someone who dates for romance and companionship instead of physical attraction. I was married when I was younger. I'm Christian. I can easily come off as heterosexual with no time or too conservative to join the local dating scene. Personally I don't care about someone's gender. I date people for being interesting and kind hearted with similar interests. In the community I'm often referred to as panromantic. I don't usually bother with a label though.
At the same time, I've also been on the receiving end of attacks from people mad at me for not being interested in them. Be it because how dare I not be attracted, or because they think I just haven't met the right person yet, or just because I find comfort being around the others with the same experiences. Many of my first experiences out into the world involved going to the local "gay bar" to sing karaoke with all the other people who just didn't feel like they fit society's expectations for them. Going to a friend's place to support them because someone had threatened them.
Our culture, as a community comes from the places and experiences we have been through. We've had the awkward conversations with medical professionals when they ask if we are sexually active and the follow up is about birth control or pregnancy, and we end up outing ourselves to strangers who are not always understanding. We've been bullied for similar reasons. Been told we don't really exist. That we're going through a phase. Sometimes by the medical community itself. We trade names of providers who are "safe" like most people trade the titles of their favorite books.
It bothers me because... those people who were hurt and died... I have a common thread to them. I cried when I found out what happened. Those people were someone's child, parent, cousin, friend... They remind me of my own monkey sphere of people I know. Even if it hadn't been people I know... I've seen the threats towards LGBTQ and Muslim students at my school. I go to an awesome school in a progressive area. We are great and inclusive and that things like that still happen... is scary. It bothers me that media wants to focus on who did it and how, rather than the bright and brilliant people who are lost to the community.
It's something that should bother everyone. It should bother us all. Today it was the LGBTQ community. It's happening in black communities. It happens in our schools. Even if we have no personal connection to what has happened, it should at the very least bother us, because who is to know what the next target of choice will be. If we can't find a way to be bothered that people died because someone's personally held belief was so strong they felt it was alright to kill someone... even if we disagree with the person's lifestyle, they didn't deserve this. No one does, and that bothers me.
This article has really frustrated me. What in the world does this have to do with NURSING? Such an "in your face" politically driven agenda in words. As a nurse, I have taken an oath that goes beyond all these politically correct agendas. I will be the first to say that the LBGT community's practice is an abomination to Gods will. But I would NEVER refuse as a Nurse or Christian to provide medical care.
Please...get back to having articles that deal with issues related to the practice of nursing and not the "push" of an agenda!
An abomination of God's will, when he creates all people in his image? You must know the job better than God, because he's created a lot of gay people. Expressing your opinion on LGBT people is not helping this issue at all. And yes you would never refuse as a nurse to provide care, but frankly as a patient I would never want you as my nurse if that's how you truly felt about the way someone is born i.e. The capacity to love someone despite the "norm." What agenda is being pushed here? Someone educating people about the many emotions that could be going on in people that this has affected? That's not an agenda. Take it as education, or go find another post and quit complaining about it. Nobody forced you to read it.
Plus....and someone has to say it.....people calling us an abomination is the reason there are 50 dead gay people. Just saying.
EXACTLY my thoughts. People don't need to sit here and explode with love for the LGBT community, but saying it's an abomination, at a time when 50 people have lost their lives? That's not cool.
Julie 03209 most definitely has the right to her feelings and opinions about her belief of how God views homosexuality. I'm sure she is professional and is able to separate her belief from her practice. I recall, working in a State Hospital with a man who raped and killed little children. He cut them up alive and fed them to pigs. I abhorred what he did and frankly, for months I loathed the sight of him. However, I grew to understand what shaped him both genetically and experientially. I loathe child molesters and butchers of innocent little children. However, I am required to care for these folks in a professional manner. We all face situations where we do not like the person or behavior, we are caring for. Julie states she will not deny treatment of gays. You as a gay person have the right to refuse care from someone you would be uncomfortable with, like Julie. I don't see anything hateful in what she states. It is alright to believe that homosexuality is wrong in God's eyes.
And....in the USA it is still alright to express and preach that belief. It is not alright to preach that to your patient. It is alright to teach children that Sex outside of marriage between a man and woman is an abomination in the sight of God. It is not alright to preach to your children that gay people must be killed. It is not alright to preach to your children that they should hurt or be mean to gay people. Gay people need to understand that many people believe acting out on gay tendencies, or to have sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman is wrong. That is not hate. This is their right to believe moral standards according to the dictates of their own concience.
What is hate filled and not alright is to hunt down torture and kill homosexuals or any human being.
I also share Julies opinon partially, except I love the gay people....my brother was gay and died of ARL and I cared for he and his partner through their deaths from AIDS. I loved my brother and his partner, and still hated the behavior, the sex between them that I also believe is an abomination in God's eyes. But.....I have messed up a lot in my life and I do not judge because I do know God is so very merciful and loves these Gay people, His children, and you are right, he allowed their births to go forward and knows of the tendencies they have.....so I leave it to him, this is HIS RESPONSIBILITY and I spend any energy I have loving all the gay people I know.....and I do very much love them. I am so upset about the shooting in Orlando to the extent of sending money to help with burial costs. This killing and hurting of people everywhere needs to stop in the name of Allah or anyone else. Exceptions need to still be that we have the right to defend ourselves, and others.
As a nurse, I have taken an oath that goes beyond all these politically correct agendas. I will be the first to say that the LBGT community's practice is an abomination to Gods will. But I would NEVER refuse as a Nurse or Christian to provide medical care.
As a nurse, your oath doesn't include anything about abominations to god. And, being a Christian has nothing to do with providing nursing/medical care, so, that part of the last statement is pointless.
I'm about to lose it so I'll keep this brief. I'm not interested in whether you believe I'm an abomination because I don't believe in your god. I do believe that the love I share with my female partner is the most exquisite and beautiful thing in my life and your opinion of it matters not. But I will say that if you think equating gay people with rapists and murderers is appropriate then you really need to have a good look at yourself. Your insensitivity is astounding. Please leave this thread out of respect for the 50 "abominations" that died, and I hope that your god is looking down in you in disgust.
My gripe with the coverage: They never talk about boosting mental health funding, it's always about the weapon...
With Warmth
I was lucky this past year my state was able to push through during the budget increases for mental health services, including for training for primary care settings to help integrate some some services. It was a huge push point for the nurse's union here. I kind of have mixed feelings because I think they mostly did it for the jobs. I'm pretty passionate about integrative care and normalization. I really love behavioral health, and what to continue on that path when I graduate.
Being part of the LGBTQ community has really made me aware of exactly how needed the services are. Many of my friends deal with the side effects of growing up in unsupportive homes, bullying from school, and bad relationships that would of likely never existed if they had been able to be open about a relationship. It's hard to seek help when doing so will out you.
Did I mention that erasure is a huge issue ... can't think about a thing if you're not even allowed to talk about it.
Maybe a transfer to the Blue side is in order.
Erasure is a huge issue, even in the LGBTQ community. Especially those who kind of sit on edge like I do. I do get a little frustrated with the all or nothing from both groups. Part of this article was actually directed, as per the description, at a comment a friend of mine had made to me. He's a nurse I've known since before I went back to school, and his family are a large part of why I was able to go back. He tried to tell me that because I wasn't dating women right now, that I had chosen to not be LGBTQ.
I get the same thing from the LGBTQ community though. Because I'm not currently dating, or when I had been dating men, my experiences are sometimes brushed off as me not knowing.
I recall, working in a State Hospital with a man who raped and killed little children. He cut them up alive and fed them to pigs. I abhorred what he did and frankly, for months I loathed the sight of him. However, I grew to understand what shaped him both genetically and experientially. I loathe child molesters and butchers of innocent little children. However, I am required to care for these folks in a professional manner. We all face situations where we do not like the person or behavior, we are caring for.
I would have prefered that this message did not come off as comparing the LGBTQ community to murders and molesters. Many years ago, one of my very favorite authors, who is Christian, wrote a book, where one of the main characters was gay because he had been molested as a child. There was a lot of backlash in the community against the author because of that book, and later his defense of his stance. I still read his books, because I still love that many of his books have truly relatable characters, including LGBTQ and PoC but it's contentious at best.
I know that when I graduate, I will have to work with people that I do not agree with their lives. I want to go into behavioral health, and I've had a few moments I have needed to reflect on in order to do so. I know that depending on the setting I am working in, I may need to take care of rapists as well as rape victims. I hope that I can provide them with non judgemental care. I think that I can. Much like you, I am coming to an understanding that a person is more than their crimes. That the crimes don't exist in a vacuum.
I think the best I can say on this is... sinners want to hate those who sin differently than them.
Plus....and someone has to say it.....people calling us an abomination is the reason there are 50 dead gay people. Just saying.
Very much why I've had to talk suicidal friends down long enough to get help. You hear it often enough, you start to believe it, and that struggle between wanting to be happy and wanting to please others eventually gets to you. Over the years, I've lost a couple friends to the struggle.
People wonder why the LGBTQ community can sometimes come off as standoffish, or aggressive with outsiders... I mean wouldn't you distance yourself from someone who was bad for your health?
Your article regarding the Orlando tragedy was very well written and I'm sure will be appreciated by many, many. You certainly have a right to "being bothered" for a long, long time. I consider your empathy uncommon human decency.
As a 35-year Paramedic, I was part of an EMS team that responded to the San Diego McDonald's massacre in July, 1984. A madman shot and killed 21 people and injured many more. The man with the rifle started shooting at our ambulance as we approached the scene from 2 blocks away. Triaging 40 patients with gunshot wounds - some of whom were dead kids with French fries in their hands - was almost too dreadful to fathom. It was the worst mass shooting up till that time - when these despicable acts were rare events. But for all the consternation I still feel, even today, I feel far, far worse about this:
Modern errant healthcare kills 4,000 innocent people each week.
Healthcare gone awry kills and maims more people in the first hour of every new shift, than the Orlando killer - and the McDonald's killer - put together.
Where are the sirens for these poor folks? Where are all the famous news people standing in the street and asking "why?"
I hear lots of nurses and medics expressing horror over Orlando.
I've never heard ANY exasperation whatsoever, by my peers, over the appalling numbers of medical treatment carnage. And it's a very rare day when I see either a nurse or a medic put their foot down and challenge a bad doctor.
Your article regarding the Orlando tragedy was very well written and I'm sure will be appreciated by many, many. You certainly have a right to "being bothered" for a long, long time. I consider your empathy uncommon human decency.
As a 35-year Paramedic, I was part of an EMS team that responded to the San Diego McDonald's massacre in July, 1984. A madman shot and killed 21 people and injured many more. The man with the rifle started shooting at our ambulance as we approached the scene from 2 blocks away. Triaging 40 patients with gunshot wounds - some of whom were dead kids with French fries in their hands - was almost too dreadful to fathom. It was the worst mass shooting up till that time - when these despicable acts were rare events. But for all the consternation I still feel, even today, I feel far, far worse about this:
Modern errant healthcare kills 4,000 innocent people each week.
Healthcare gone awry kills and maims more people in the first hour of every new shift, than the Orlando killer - and the McDonald's killer - put together.
Where are the sirens for these poor folks? Where are all the famous news people standing in the street and asking "why?"
I hear lots of nurses and medics expressing horror over Orlando.
I've never heard ANY exasperation whatsoever, by my peers, over the appalling numbers of medical treatment carnage. And it's a very rare day when I see either a nurse or a medic put their foot down and challenge a bad doctor.
So just for the record, that's what "bothers" me.
Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your insight Patric. I'm sure that the triaging in San Diego was traumatic as well. When things are sudden it's easier to see what is going wrong.
Sometimes when it's a slow steady creep it's harder to see.
I know that my program trains us to be comfortable speaking up if we see something. The very first quarter included a professor telling us that we are not the doctor's handmaiden, and that we needed to be willing to advocate for our patients. I know this hasn't always been the culture of nursing, but like I said, I come from a fairly progressive program that covers a wide variety of topics, including cultural care and ethics. Most of the nurses I know have stories about things they either didn't like and wish they had said something, or have stories about things they have spoken up on. Their stories, so I won't be sharing them. Each one of those stories has been told to me though, in the hopes of making me into a stronger person. The general impression I have seen though.. it's getting better. They want us to help that.
In many ways, I feel like I am luckier than many student nurses. I'm older than a number of my classmates and have had a number of life experiences to help forge my want to go into nursing. Things like doctors that advocated for things I did not want, and nurses who helped and comforted me about it. I have younger siblings who needed a lot of extra care growing up, and needed advocated for to get help from an overburdened system. I've worked in assisted living and home based services for at least seven years now, with people who may not be able to adequately able to advocate for their own care. I've been part of lobbying groups to reach for changes that promote patient and community health. Practice makes perfect. The more we do it, the easier it gets. I've had some practice.
How convenient and simplistic. Us vs. them. There were a hundred shootings in the US this year. Most perps used assault rifles. How would you classify them, because almost 99% were Caucasian males of a certain denomination above reproach.
His boyfriend came out on Hispanic TV to say it was a revenge attack. He was a regular at that nightclub. He was settling scores.
There seems to be a parallel system of justice in this country. All lives don't matter. This thinking will fracture this country irreconcilably.
future_RN, CNA
89 Posts
An abomination of God's will, when he creates all people in his image? You must know the job better than God, because he's created a lot of gay people. Expressing your opinion on LGBT people is not helping this issue at all. And yes you would never refuse as a nurse to provide care, but frankly as a patient I would never want you as my nurse if that's how you truly felt about the way someone is born i.e. The capacity to love someone despite the "norm." What agenda is being pushed here? Someone educating people about the many emotions that could be going on in people that this has affected? That's not an agenda. Take it as education, or go find another post and quit complaining about it. Nobody forced you to read it.