Orlando Tragedy - "Why Does It Bother You So Much?"
Because a nurse I am friends with asked me why it mattered so much to me... I thought I would share this with all of you as well. LGBTQ culture is one of shared experiences. In the same way that nursing culture exists, so does LGBTQ. In the wake of the tragedy in Orlando, I find myself needing an outlet to express the fear and sadness that comes with it. My hope is in doing so, I can help those who do not know or understand the culture, get a small glimpse into it from my perspective.
This past weekend is still something that has struck fear into the core of my community, even though I live on the other side of the country. I'm not going to debate about how it could have been prevented, because hindsight is always 20/20. I'm not going to debate it because there are as many different ideas on how to prevent it as there are people who know about it. What I want to do is expose myself, and explain why something that happened so far away from me could affect me on such a personal level.
No matter what you call it, LGBT(Q,+,A), QUILTBAG, or my personal favorite Alphabet Soup Gang... there is a community out there for those of us who don't quite fit the norm. My favorite comes from the fact that we are all a bit alike, all a little different, and we're all floating in this big huge bowl we call Earth. Also the letters change all the time depending on who you talk to and if I am going to offend someone for using the wrong ones, at least I'm going down in style.
I get a little flack at times from the community, at times, for not getting it, because "you pass... no one knows unless you choose to tell them." See, I'm not what most people think of when they think of the LGBTQ. Mostly because I don't get all twiterpatted when I see someone posed in what someone would consider sexual nature. My response tends more towards "Oh... look at that... "and insert interesting bit of biology about their tattoo, a mole, or the muscle structure. I'm someone who dates for romance and companionship instead of physical attraction. I was married when I was younger. I'm Christian. I can easily come off as heterosexual with no time or too conservative to join the local dating scene. Personally I don't care about someone's gender. I date people for being interesting and kind hearted with similar interests. In the community I'm often referred to as panromantic. I don't usually bother with a label though.
At the same time, I've also been on the receiving end of attacks from people mad at me for not being interested in them. Be it because how dare I not be attracted, or because they think I just haven't met the right person yet, or just because I find comfort being around the others with the same experiences. Many of my first experiences out into the world involved going to the local "gay bar" to sing karaoke with all the other people who just didn't feel like they fit society's expectations for them. Going to a friend's place to support them because someone had threatened them.
Our culture, as a community comes from the places and experiences we have been through. We've had the awkward conversations with medical professionals when they ask if we are sexually active and the follow up is about birth control or pregnancy, and we end up outing ourselves to strangers who are not always understanding. We've been bullied for similar reasons. Been told we don't really exist. That we're going through a phase. Sometimes by the medical community itself. We trade names of providers who are "safe" like most people trade the titles of their favorite books.
It bothers me because... those people who were hurt and died... I have a common thread to them. I cried when I found out what happened. Those people were someone's child, parent, cousin, friend... They remind me of my own monkey sphere of people I know. Even if it hadn't been people I know... I've seen the threats towards LGBTQ and Muslim students at my school. I go to an awesome school in a progressive area. We are great and inclusive and that things like that still happen... is scary. It bothers me that media wants to focus on who did it and how, rather than the bright and brilliant people who are lost to the community.
It's something that should bother everyone. It should bother us all. Today it was the LGBTQ community. It's happening in black communities. It happens in our schools. Even if we have no personal connection to what has happened, it should at the very least bother us, because who is to know what the next target of choice will be. If we can't find a way to be bothered that people died because someone's personally held belief was so strong they felt it was alright to kill someone... even if we disagree with the person's lifestyle, they didn't deserve this. No one does, and that bothers me.
If you are so in touch with what is happening you should know it was a lot more complex than British people voting to leave because of terrorism. In fact, that has barely been mentioned. FWIW- I think we've made a stupid decision- I voted to stay in the EU. Apologies to the OP- the majority of my last post was on-topic but I didn't want my country be misrepresented in a global forum.
Your country (MY country) is not misrepresented. They voted and the will of the people was heard. Now, let's get back on topic.
That's fine by me- i've responded to your asides on both occasions. I felt you misrepresented the way my country thought and felt- I still do, you are making very generalised, sweeping, simplistic statements. Yes the country voted- 51.9% of 70% of the country by no means represents all people. Both terrorism in Europe and the referendum are stuff I feel very raw and upset about. If you strongly want to keep this thread on topic please don't don't make political side-swipes then duck for cover behind "it's off-topic". That isn't okay.
That's fine by me- i've responded to your asides on both occasions. I felt you misrepresented the way my country thought and felt- I still do, you are making very generalised, sweeping, simplistic statements. Yes the country voted- 51.9% of 70% of the country by no means represents all people. Both terrorism in Europe and the referendum are stuff I feel very raw and upset about. If you strongly want to keep this thread on topic please don't don't make political side-swipes then duck for cover behind "it's off-topic". That isn't okay.
You don't get to decide what I can say, fortunately. That's the way democracy works. I stated a fact: the people voted and the majority won. I'm sorry you don't agree with the decision. You jumped to a conclusion that I shouldn't have an opinion because I was a "foreigner" i.e. American. I showed you that I was not and as a Brit I have a right to my opinion, even if you don't agree with it. We're not here to discuss politics, so again, let's get back on topic.
I have never thought I decide what you say- I can also say what I wish and I think it is unfair to make jibes then retreat behind the protection of "off-topic". I didn't assume you were American, I assumed you were out of touch with European politics- I stand by this.
Facts? That the referendum decision was based on terrorism and that people died in terrorist attacks because Europe wasn't "facing up to terror?". I'd still say that these opinions are vastly over simplistic and offensive, I'll say it again- we are very raw over here about what has happened, please be more tactful if you are someone who cares about being sensitive in the wake of a crisis.
I have never thought I decide what you say- I can also say what I wish and I think it is unfair to make jibes then retreat behind the protection of "off-topic". I didn't assume you were American, I assumed you were out of touch with European politics- I stand by this.
Facts? That the referendum decision was based on terrorism and that people died in terrorist attacks because Europe wasn't "facing up to terror?". I'd still say that these opinions are vastly over simplistic and offensive, I'll say it again- we are very raw over here about what has happened, please be more tactful if you are someone who cares about being sensitive in the wake of a crisis.
Now lets get back on topic, shall we?
I'm not out of touch at all as I follow UK politics and current events daily and I have for the past 15 years since I left the country, but then I suppose you'd think I was because I don't fall into your party line. It's called a difference of opinion but go ahead and call me out of touch because I don't agree with you. And it's only a crisis if you voted stay. It all depends on your perspective, doesn't it? Those of us who voted leave...you know, the majority, happen to think it's excellent. If you think that this result isn't a direct result of Merkel's mass immigration policy and the islamification of Europe, you're deluded! Carry on.
"Now we are going to debate that modern errant health care kills 4000 each week?"
There IS no debate. You can admit it or hide your head in the sand. The healthcare profession kills between 400-600 patients every day.
"Please enlighten us to where, when, how, these health care killings are happening? Inquiring minds want to know."
I am enlightening you. that's the whole purpose of the "hijack." It's called a "link" and it's usually scribed in blue ink. All you need to do is click it.
I'm not out of touch at all as I follow UK politics and current events daily and I have for the past 15 years since I left the country, but then I suppose you'd think I was because I don't fall into your party line. It's called a difference of opinion but go ahead and call me out of touch because I don't agree with you. And it's only a crisis if you voted stay. It all depends on your perspective, doesn't it? Those of us who voted leave...you know, the majority, happen to think it's excellent. If you think that this result isn't a direct result of Merkel's mass immigration policy and the islamification of Europe, you're deluded! Carry on.
You're calling me deluded because I don't agree with you? But you think it isn't right to comment negatively on someone just because of a difference of opinion. A double standard again. You "suppose what I think"? You don't know me either, you don't know what I think. I don't even have a "party line".
There are 64 million in the country and 17 million who voted to leave - it is obviously a democratic majority (tell me more about demokrasis, I no understand) but it is also something almost a majority disagreed with. Thanks for starting this off-topic argument and your continued sensitivity.
Those of "us"??? According to the Uk, the country you call yours, we aren't even allies with our next door neighbours. Have you heard the gutter press and many of the majority who voted leave? They are completely against immigration. I think you are one of us, "OUR" country doesn't necessarily.
Oh you follow what's happening from afar??? According to our media and other people with power and influence we don't have a problem with food banks, a rising crisis in mental health and suicide or with child poverty and social mobility. These are factors which contributed to the recent vote. You carry on following from thousands of miles away, I'm sure you are much better informed about how ordinary people in the UK live than someone who lives there, is one and treats hundreds of them.
Can we get back on topic please? There was a lot of relevant stuff in my initial post on here if you want to discuss that.
I don't even know what point you're trying to make apart from just arguing with me, so please go ahead and let's get back to the conversation at hand. You know nothing about me or my connection to the country but suffice to say I'm a British citizen and a well informed one who has a vote. Out of respect for the OP let's discontinue this discussion and agree to disagree.
I don't even know what point you're trying to make apart from just arguing with me, so please go ahead and let's get back to the conversation at hand. You know nothing about me or my connection to the country but suffice to say I'm a British citizen and a well informed one who has a vote. Out of respect for the OP let's discontinue this discussion and agree to disagree.
I think we don't understand each other, sadly. Let's agree to disagree out of respect for the OP and the subject matter. Thanks for asking that directly so we can do that, I wasn't sure how to resolve this, respect.
I think we don't understand each other, sadly. Let's agree to disagree out of respect for the OP and the subject matter. Thanks for asking that directly so we can do that, I wasn't sure how to resolve this, respect.
You're welcome, and no hard feelings, from one Brit to another.
Today, in the news, a individual leaving a local charity benefit dedicated to the Pulse victims was assaulted by a man screaming obscenities about their gender. They are having to activate the Emergency Operations Center for Pride this weekend. I am legitimately scared to go, but we can't live our lives in fear now, can we?
Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP
1,367 Posts
Your country (MY country) is not misrepresented. They voted and the will of the people was heard. Now, let's get back on topic.