Older Student, Unprofessional Nurse During Clinical

Nursing Students General Students

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After many, many years (20!) of "thinking about it", I finally decided at age 45 to go back to school for nursing. My mom was a nurse for 50 years and even though I have two other bachelor's degrees, the timing was never right for the commitment of nursing school. Now that I have two kids in college and my other two kids are high school aged, I decided that this was my time.

I will graduate one year from now from one of the remaining hospital based diploma programs (Our area is actually FULL of them) and then I will immediately bridge to a BSN after just two semesters because of my other degrees. I am currently a 4.0 student.

Because I am in a hospital based program, we get A LOT of clinical experience (it's the reason I chose this type of program) and so far, my experiences have been great and have only solidified my desire to be a nurse. I am loving every second of it.

However, this week I experiences something I didn't expect. I half expected rude nurses or the dreaded "eat their young" nurses (which would be kind of tough on me because I'm older than many of them!) and I wasn't so worried about that because I've been dealing with mean girls since long before the movie.....but I didn't expect to hear nurses talking so badly about their PATIENTS!

I was sitting at the nurses desk looking up my patient's meds for my upcoming med pass. The nurse sitting next to me was kabitzing with the other nurse. These are well established nurses. And the one nurse starts complaining about the patient down the floor being a ******* **** (but she said the words) because he was complaining about his pain following a prostatectomy (this is a urology floor). Then she went on to say that the wife reported that the patient was a Marine and so she determined that he was the wussiest Marine she'd ever seen. For 5 minutes...full of swearing and making fun of this patient. The other nurse listened, and laughed. But did not join in the name calling. But she sure didn't condemn it either.

I. Was. Stunned. I said nothing because I am a student, but I did ask my clinical instructor about it because the family was walking around and could have SO EASILY heard this nurses comments.

So, my question to you from a very naive nursing student....Is this the norm? Will I need to toughen up? Should I have said something to to the nurse? Should I have told my instructor as I did? I thought it was waaaayyyy out of line, but then I started remembering that they tell us that they are teaching us to graduate nursing school and when you are on the floor it's a whole other ballgame.

If this is the ballgame, I'm not playing that game. I may not have any friends on the floor, but I'm not going to participate in that kind of talk about patients. I get venting or expressing frustration about a difficult client, but please tell me that is not the norm....

So what say you, oh wise nurses?

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
But I don't see the profession gaining the respect desired if nurses are regularly defending behavior like this.

I think the vast minority of nurses would defend the particular behavior that you described in your opening post. I don't want to put words in others' mouths, but I don't think most nurses would defend nurses making fun of patients in a profanity laden conversation at the nurses station. That is not the norm and we shouldn't defend it, nor are we.

Talking about patients, in private, to help unwind, blow off steam, etc. is entirely the norm. If you expect you should never hear a nurse complain about his/her assignment, a particular patient, a family member--it is going to be very disappointing for you. I am not trying to be rude about it, just giving you realistic expectations.

If you are witness to the profane name calling at the nurses station, absolutely say something--even if you don't express your discomfort with the conversation--"just be careful--I was in the room across the hall, and I could hear everything you are saying." Some people might snicker or say "what's wrong with the newbie," but that is their problem, not yours. You may even get some people to realize the inappropriateness of their words.

However, if you are in the break room after the shift, and you hear another nurse say, "oh my goodness, that patient in room 8 would not stop ringing, and then his daughter came and it got even worse when she starting playing into it..." This is the norm--any human in any profession needs to let the negatives out. If it offends you, you need to just walk away. Letting these feelings out is healthier than taking the negatives home. If that nurse need to get something off his/her chest, let them go for it.

Specializes in Pediatric Specialty RN.
I think the vast minority of nurses would defend the particular behavior that you described in your opening post. I don't want to put words in others' mouths, but I don't think most nurses would defend nurses making fun of patients in a profanity laden conversation at the nurses station. That is not the norm and we shouldn't defend it, nor are we.

Talking about patients, in private, to help unwind, blow off steam, etc. is entirely the norm. If you expect you should never hear a nurse complain about his/her assignment, a particular patient, a family member--it is going to be very disappointing for you. I am not trying to be rude about it, just giving you realistic expectations.

If you are witness to the profane name calling at the nurses station, absolutely say something--even if you don't express your discomfort with the conversation--"just be careful--I was in the room across the hall, and I could hear everything you are saying." Some people might snicker or say "what's wrong with the newbie," but that is their problem, not yours. You may even get some people to realize the inappropriateness of their words.

However, if you are in the break room after the shift, and you hear another nurse say, "oh my goodness, that patient in room 8 would not stop ringing, and then his daughter came and it got even worse when she starting playing into it..." This is the norm--any human in any profession needs to let the negatives out. If it offends you, you need to just walk away. Letting these feelings out is healthier than taking the negatives home. If that nurse need to get something off his/her chest, let them go for it.

Agree with everything you said. I do not expect nurses to not vent about their patients. I expect that *I* will vent as well. It was the tone, location and vitriol included that was alarming to me.

Not sure why you included your resume and life story in the original post...

I as a patient do not respect nurses who cuss and talk about me or another patient in a negative way or talk about each other in a negative way, which I have the personal experience of watching two nurses running down another nurse. Their conversation was so important that they were being unprofessional in their care of the patient. I respect nurses who treat me with a professional but kind manner. Who understands that the patient they have in front of them is a human being and may be scared and confused or worried about the outcome of their visit to a doctor's office or stay in a hospital. I have always appreciated the kind, professional, competent nurse over one that will run in and act like they can threaten and make me feel as if they can do and say anything they want to me or a member of my family. Been there done that and not planning on going back. As a matter of fact I have never disrespected a nurse until he/she disrespects me or a member of my family.
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This forum is for healthcare professionals/students.

Specializes in Pediatric Specialty RN.
Not sure why you included your resume and life story in the original post...

Well aren't you a special kind of ugly. Because it was my first post on the forum and I was introducing myself. Not sure why you'd jump in with a rude comment that had nothing to do with my question unless you just enjoy being miserable.

Well aren't you a special kind of ugly. Because it was my first post on the forum and I was introducing myself. Not sure why you'd jump in with a rude comment that had nothing to do with my question unless you just enjoy being miserable.

Well, there is an introduction forum for introductory posts. Nobody can complain about you introducing yourself there. Cut the poster some slack. They expressed how your post came across to them, that's all.

Not sure why you included your resume and life story in the original post...

Because life experience matters when we're talking about professional behavior. Students are CONSTANTLY thrown the "you're just a student, you don't understand" line on here. In terms of the medical knowledge, skills, etc - I agree, I'm just a student and there is a lot I don't understand. But in terms of human behavior and interactions, my almost 40 years of experience does matter.

Look, I have never cussed about a patient at the nurses station. But I can understand the frustration of the nurse. Now, I know I'm probavly going to offend all of our male counterparts. I apologize in advance. But men ages 18-35 are the absolute worst with any type of pain. Any type.

I work in trauma. I get 32 year old men screaming and carrying on over a broken bone, meanwhile, 85 year old meemaw who fell down three flights of stairs and has 5 broken ribs and an orbital blowout is saying no honey, I don't need any pain meds. Can you just give me another blanket, I'm cold. I can imagine working in urology the whining and carrying on can be wearing at times.

You need to cut this nurse some slack. You don't know the background and the whole story. Nurses vent often at the nursing station. Maybe this guy needed to be told to suck it up a little.

By the way, I'm 40, married, with 3 kids. It's not a generational thing to complain. It's a I'm over it today thing. My tolerance is way less on day three.

Like I said, someday, you will get it. And while you may never vent at the nurses station, you will have empathy for those that do. You will at least understand the frustration.

Specializes in Pediatric Specialty RN.
Well, there is an introduction forum for introductory posts. Nobody can complain about you introducing yourself there. Cut the poster some slack. They expressed how your post came across to them, that's all.

Like the poster cut me some slack?

In this case, I would've told my children to determine whether or not to chime in by the old adage; Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If anyone of those things is off, then complaining simply to complain is just an exercise in misery loves company.

As a CNA I do see things like this on occasion, but it is not the norm and almost never that outright/rude. I will say that when something like that does happen, while it is certainly unprofessional and should not be condoned, it is usually the result of extreme frustration with a patient who is being very rude, and may even be a bit understandable. However, I would agree that it is not something that healthcare professionals should be partaking in. I would just ignore it and choose to act differently- you can't change other people.

Specializes in Med/surg nurse, 9 years experience, 5 as travel.

I would say "I'm just a student" is not acceptable....you should have said something, doesn't matter if your a nurse, student, nurses aid...what ever, that is not acceptable. But nurses (including female nurses) are just as potty mouthed as the proverbial sailors.

Specializes in Med/surg nurse, 9 years experience, 5 as travel.
A few thoughts: 1. You have not even walked a tenth of a tenth of a mile in the shoes of a nurse, so try to curb the knee jerk judgements; 2. There are jerks in every profession (not saying the nurse that got your hackles up is a jerk; maybe/maybe not) and you will need to learn to negotiate that personality landscape; 3. You are under no obligation to engage in any type of behavior that offends your principles or sensibilities, so don't; 4. At this early stage of the game, I think you should cut your (future) nursing peers some slack and unless you see something taking place that's endangering another human, just let them do them and you do you.

Why is that in nursing if your a "new" nurse that your suppose to keep quiet until you've got some time under your belt...it's so stupid in my opinion. If you feel something isn't right speak up, it's the "older" staff that need to not be so stuffy and get butt hurt if someone has an opinion about something.

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