Older Student, Unprofessional Nurse During Clinical

[Nurse Magnolia]

After many, many years (20!) of "thinking about it", I finally decided at age 45 to go back to school for nursing. My mom was a nurse for 50 years and even though I have two other bachelor's degrees, the timing was never right for the commitment of nursing school. Now that I have two kids in college and my other two kids are high school aged, I decided that this was my time.

I will graduate one year from now from one of the remaining hospital based diploma programs (Our area is actually FULL of them) and then I will immediately bridge to a BSN after just two semesters because of my other degrees. I am currently a 4.0 student.

Because I am in a hospital based program, we get A LOT of clinical experience (it's the reason I chose this type of program) and so far, my experiences have been great and have only solidified my desire to be a nurse. I am loving every second of it.

However, this week I experiences something I didn't expect. I half expected rude nurses or the dreaded "eat their young" nurses (which would be kind of tough on me because I'm older than many of them!) and I wasn't so worried about that because I've been dealing with mean girls since long before the movie.....but I didn't expect to hear nurses talking so badly about their PATIENTS!

I was sitting at the nurses desk looking up my patient's meds for my upcoming med pass. The nurse sitting next to me was kabitzing with the other nurse. These are well established nurses. And the one nurse starts complaining about the patient down the floor being a ******* **** (but she said the words) because he was complaining about his pain following a prostatectomy (this is a urology floor). Then she went on to say that the wife reported that the patient was a Marine and so she determined that he was the wussiest Marine she'd ever seen. For 5 minutes...full of swearing and making fun of this patient. The other nurse listened, and laughed. But did not join in the name calling. But she sure didn't condemn it either.

I. Was. Stunned. I said nothing because I am a student, but I did ask my clinical instructor about it because the family was walking around and could have SO EASILY heard this nurses comments.

So, my question to you from a very naive nursing student....Is this the norm? Will I need to toughen up? Should I have said something to to the nurse? Should I have told my instructor as I did? I thought it was waaaayyyy out of line, but then I started remembering that they tell us that they are teaching us to graduate nursing school and when you are on the floor it's a whole other ballgame.

If this is the ballgame, I'm not playing that game. I may not have any friends on the floor, but I'm not going to participate in that kind of talk about patients. I get venting or expressing frustration about a difficult client, but please tell me that is not the norm....

So what say you, oh wise nurses?

[James W.]

On ‎4‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 6:06 PM, Tenebrae said:

I had an experience sort of the same when I was a student. I did my nursing in a very small town and in my final year I had to do a placement on the acute mental health unit.

I'd had the experience of a 10 day admission to the same unit 18 months previously and ended up working along side many of the same nurses that had cared for me when I'd been an inpatient. The nurses were incredibly professional which I would have expected. The one thing that did not sit well with me was sitting through the morning MD meetings and often listening to the nurses and doctors being incredibly rude and scathing about patients on the ward.

My feeling was like 'wow, is this how you spoke about me"

That said unlike your situation, this happened behind closed doors away from the ears of patients and their families.

I understand now that nurses need to vent. I have been known on many occasions to employ dark humour as a coping mechanism. And yes sometimes we do make less than flattering comments about patients and families who demonstrate behaviours that challenge, I make sure if I do have a moment of needing to have a damm good vent that its in an appropriate venue and away from any ears that could possibly be offended by my rant

To be that rude about a patient within potential earshot of a patient and their family is just nasty, rude and disrespectful in my opinion.

Is there any benefit in you speaking up as a student?

I get the desire to want to bring about change in a work environment. One lesson I learned the hard way, to speak up about problems and things that impact on the delivery of safe nursing care when those in charge dont think there is a problem only ends up getting a very large target painted on your back. It shouldnt be that way however regretfully it seems to be like that

Having a debrief with your clinical instructor is a good idea, I wouldnt take it further and as others have said, 'be the change you want to see"

True, & my view concurs, don't make remarks, verbal, or 'on the record' that you could not convey verbatim to the subject of those remarks themselves.

Further, nowadays, lax/vulgar terms used in a professional setting ( & even in 'social media' by a professional) may be noted, & held against you.

I'd go further, & suggest that we reserve any needful 'wind down' talk, to private settings, & while on duty, conduct ourselves as if we are under video observation, (even if we can reasonably assume we are not) as a 'good habit'.

[Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN]

On 4/9/2018 at 7:46 AM, Rocknurse said:

I say this because, from experience, any time you stick your head above the parapet in nursing someone is going to take a pot shot at it. It doesn't pay to bring attention upon yourself, and it can come back and bite you in the behind HARD. Now if you saw someone saying something abusive to a patient's face, then yes you have a duty to report that, but if you run to management and tattle on somebody for something like this, you're going to open up a whole world of trouble. Do not get involved in personality issues at work...I

Truer words have never been spoken ......;)))