In our line of work we experience truly life changing moments. Saving someone who surely was seconds away from death had they not arrived on your doorstep is something to remember; as is the loss of a life you fought hard to keep.
But once in a while you end up remembering a patient not for something life changin, but for saying/ doing something that makes you want to pat them on the shoulder and say "Oh, honey..." as you internally grimace at what a ridiculous story they are telling. You want to clap your hand to your forehead and groan at how horrific their lie is.
For example: Patient in early 30's comes in with small abscesses forming to the anticubital area of both arms. Also of note are a multitude of track marks in varying stages of healing along both forearms/hands. As I began to attempt cleaning this patients arms and to initiate a saline lock for the IV antibiotics this person will certainly need, I enquire as to what has caused the massive infection to their AC area. Patient responds (completely straight faced) with a harrowing tale of how they were opening their window to let the clear, fresh, spring air into their home when a rabid wild animal (maybe a cat? Or possibly a raccoon?) leapt into their home and scratched them right in that exact spot on each arm! The nerve! How horrifying! When i asked about the other marks on the arms, patient proclaimed that they are a horticulturist specialising in cacti and frequently gets scratched while watering them.
10 points for creativity. While relaying this history to the doctor who is already groaning while waking to their room, I couldn't help but think that this has to be one of most ridiculous fibs I have ever heard!
