Nurses as primary breadwinners?

Published

I've been working with a lot of young (20s-40s) nurses who are the primary breadwinners in their families. Not single women/single Moms, but wives basically supporting their husbands and kids, working overtime to make ends meet. Is there a trend? These husbands are unable to find work or unwilling to work at what they see as menial jobs while the wives are saddled with financial responsibility for the family. It irks me to see my girlfriends worn out at work trying to make extra $ in spite of fatigue, physical illness, being mothers to smal children etc.

Once again, their marriage, their business.

A Female's Guide To A Happy Life

Rule #1 - Keep out of other women's troubles and or affairs.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I think the OP is commenting more so on the fact that society seems to have permanently abdicated the traditional role of "provider" from men without lessening traditional "nuturer/homemaker" role of the woman. It's not "equality" (note to self: step awaaaaay from the soapbox), it's burden shifting (in some cases). It's socially acceptable for a man to not be "the provider", but if Mom rarely makes it to parent-teacher meetings/soccer games because she's always working, eyebrows still get raised. People still see the wife as ultimately responsible for the home and the children no matter how much the husband "helps" and adding the financial burden on top of that is lot for one person, man or woman.

Nail on the head! That is my predicament. I work slightly more hours than hubby, but still have to do almost everything at home. I can barely keep my head above water..

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
You're only 19, get a little older and see how this talk sounds to you then. Granted your views may have been shaped by your growing up life, but I bet it will still change,

My dad was one of those men Ginger has (or had). Didn't really care to get off his ass and help my mom out with anything: chores, housework, kids, bills...and I saw her work herself to death to support the family AND her lazy ass husband.

I refuse to work myself to the bone for ANY man. I will only work my ass off to support my mom and my kids, but I'll be damned if I let a man take advantage of this!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
My dad was one of those men Ginger has (or had). Didn't really care to get off his ass and help my mom out with anything: chores, housework, kids, bills...and I saw her work herself to death to support the family AND her lazy ass husband.

I refuse to work myself to the bone for ANY man. I will only work my ass off to support my mom and my kids, but I'll be damned if I let a man take advantage of this!

Sorry to go off topic, but how are you going to have kids to raise when you distrust men so much?:eek:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
Sorry to go off topic, but how are you going to have kids to raise when you distrust men so much?:eek:

Sperm bank or adoption. Women don't need men these days to have kids when there are sperm banks and SO many children in the system.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Sperm bank or adoption. Women don't need men these days to have kids when there are sperm banks and SO many children in the system.

Along those lines men don't need women either. Ricky Martin, Neil Patrick Harris, Elton John and hundreds of other men both gay and straight simply hire a surrogate. All one needs is a decent bank account and perhaps be willing to travel to certain states in the USA, India or Kiev.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My wife makes alot more than I do.She makes about $75-80,000 a year as an RN. I work 2-3 days a week 9 hour shifts for $21 an hour. It makes sense for her to work fulltime (and pick upthe occasional O/T) while I work weekend nights and take care of things during the week. I'm certainly not lazy as I cook,clean, take care of the kids etc. Also while I work part time the work I do is very demanding (psych, addictions) and I don't think I could cope with doing it fulltime. I plan to start an Accelerated BSN program next year so maybe when I'm done she can take a part time line.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.
I've been working with a lot of young (20s-40s) nurses who are the primary breadwinners in their families. Not single women/single Moms, but wives basically supporting their husbands and kids, working overtime to make ends meet. Is there a trend? These husbands are unable to find work or unwilling to work at what they see as menial jobs while the wives are saddled with financial responsibility for the family. It irks me to see my girlfriends worn out at work trying to make extra $ in spite of fatigue, physical illness, being mothers to smal children etc.

It's a rough economy out there; in a marriage whoever can..does. While they may be mothers to small children, the husbands are are the fathers. What makes you think they aren't doing their share at home? I've always been a very active father and active caregiver no matter what the economic circumstances

I've been the sole income for periods when my kids were born and during their infancy, it was rough.

When I was in nursing school, she was the primary income although I worked PT, it was rough.

I provided the larger income while working FT & completing my BSN, but it was a challenge for both of us, and we got through it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, LTC/Geriatric.

1955 called and wants it's stereotype back.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, LTC/Geriatric.

And yes, I am the primary breadwinner in my house. My DH does contract work in 2 different areas and it's either feast or famine with him. But his very flexible schedule allows for us to be home with the kids, pick up from school, not have to pay for childcare etc. He does a lot of housework and stuff around the house. I can pick up OT if I'm called since his schedule is open. I can make a ton of $$ in an OT shift.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency, Trauma, Critical Care.

I am. My husband was a trucker. Got sick and hes been staying at home taking pre reqs RT since. I like working but I do stress about money. He's an excellent stay at home daddy. I just am excited to see him done with school someday. He does the cooking and cleaning. I just fold laundry. I think it's fair. :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

To the OP, I see where you are coming from. I too was raised with certain old fashioned standards about the man being the "head of household" in every sense of the word. In my family, being an educated woman and being able to make money was stressed not because we need to support our families one day, but instead, so that if anything unexpected were to ever occur ... we would be capable of supporting ourselves and our children and not be left on our knees and at the mercy of a man.

But with that said, this is America and to each his/her own. If two people are happy and comfortable in their roles then that is all that matters. If the woman has no problem putting in 50-60 hour work weeks while the man stays at home and tends to work there then thats great, after all, men do it all the time.

I'm just not that woman and I will hopefully never have to be that woman. In the future I hope my income is exclusively supplemental vs. necessary. That's all I've ever known.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion