Not able to continue orientation, feel terrible.

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I started general orientation for my new job on the telemetry floor today. It seems like a really good place to work, but I have a major issue: my 2.5 month old refuses to have anything to do with a bottle. Today went "okay" but he wouldn't eat. I was gone for 12 hrs. and so he went that long without drinking, my husband managed to get a few spoonfuls of applesauce in him but he can't just eat that all day. I am supposed to work mostly at night only the first few months I will be training five days a week all day. I feel like it would not be good for the baby's well-being to continue but I am scared to approach the NM over this.

Has anyone ever had a similar situation where they had to quit? I would like to think I would be able to try again when the baby is older but if I was to back out now would the NM be angry and would I be a no rehire at this hospital system? I know this would be a good opportunity to learn skills but I don't feel like it would be right to do it at the baby's expense. He just needs me too much right now.

Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.

We have a young mother here at work who goes into one of the MDs offices (without him there, of course!) every morning to pump breast milk. she then freezes it to use later, and feeds her baby the usual way at home. She did a little "bottle training" before returning to work. I'm with Tazzi, who said when he is hungry enough, he will eat.

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Specializes in PCU, Home Health.

"I'm with Tazzi, who said when he is hungry enough, he will eat."

I too had a baby who was so stubborn. And it may be true that he will eat eventually- but it feels bad wrong and cruel to do that to your baby. This is a terrible time to be in so much turmoil. If you just led your NM on for one day then so what? Did you intentionally do this to make her upset? We have people on training for 3 months that quit right after they get off of orientation.

There has to be a solution to this- that baby will not be so dependent on you forever. I know my manager would rehire- if he knew the situation. I know I am going against what others have said- but I have been there too and know the dread and worry when baby will not eat when I am gone. I hated it- hope to never have to have that happen again. I am not anti-bottle (a militant breastfeeder as my pediatrician calls some) The baby who would not take the bottle was my first child- my second child was different- we introduced the bottle at 3 weeks and periodically gave her one and she did great. When I returned to work she ate anything you gave her. But baby #1 went directly to sippy cup after the breast.

Good luck to you- follow your heart- These folks on here seem to know you well and see things from another side- And I would certainly take their wisdom into account- but do know that I know your pain, and this is just a season in life- it will pass.

You are in my prayers

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Rather than quit outright, speak with the manager about a later start date, and then take those weeks to help your baby adjust to taking a bottle. There are plenty of online resources, and you could meet with a lactation consultant for guidance.

Either way, burning bridges is never a good idea. Believe me, I know...

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Specializes in OB.
I just want to know if it will make me look really bad to the NM and if she wouldn't take me back later when he is older?

There really sounds (from reading multiple posts of yours) as though there is something more going on than just baby adjustment problems for you. Have you considered that you may be suffering from postpartum depression? You really might need to do some work with someone to sort out why you are finding so many jobs unsuitable and what is making you so unhappy.

As for the question, yes it will make you look bad to the NM and probably won't help you to be eligible for rehire there. It is also going to reflect badly on anyone who gave you a reference and you may find them less willing to do so in the future.

An aside, which may not be of concern to you, is that this will probably also make it harder for the next new mom who applies for a job there.

I know this sounds harsh, but truly most of the posters here really want to see you feel and do better and get what you really need.

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Specializes in Too many to list.

Mama, you sound so sad and resigned.

Good luck to you whatever you decide.

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Chiming in here . . . .

I've been worried about you, going back to work with a young baby and also pregnant. I also think you sound clinically depressed.

I think you should be honest (of course you have probably already talked to the NM). If I was a nurse manager, I'd be more concerned about you than the job itself.

This is exactly the kind of situation where public assistance is the right thing to do, imo. You need to have some time to regroup and figure out what to do. Please get some counseling too.

As to your baby not eating, PLEASE don't feed a 2.5 month baby applesauce - it is an aspiration risk. And their digestive tract isn't mature enough for apple sauce.

Breastfeed your baby, stay home, regroup, take care of yourself. And please, do something about getting your husband to help out more. Drag him into counseling too.

I hope you quit the job. I hope you are home with your baby. I wish you the best.

steph

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Specializes in Too many to list.
Chiming in here . . . .

I've been worried about you, going back to work with a young baby and also pregnant. I also think you sound clinically depressed.

I think you should be honest (of course you have probably already talked to the NM). If I was a nurse manager, I'd be more concerned about you than the job itself.

This is exactly the kind of situation where public assistance is the right thing to do, imo. You need to have some time to regroup and figure out what to do. Please get some counseling too.

As to your baby not eating, PLEASE don't feed a 2.5 month baby applesauce - it is an aspiration risk. And their digestive tract isn't mature enough for apple sauce.

Breastfeed your baby, stay home, regroup, take care of yourself. And please, do something about getting your husband to help out more. Drag him into counseling too.

I hope you quit the job. I hope you are home with your baby. I wish you the best.

steph

Good advice.

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Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.

:yeahthat:

Take the time you need, but make sure you don't get sucked under. Speak with the NM and see if you can delay your orientation until you get things settled. It will keep you from completely burning a bridge while you restore your health and spirit.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Maybe stepping back and assessing all aspects of your life might be in order:

1. Your husband is legally blind and unable to work?

2. You have four children and a fifth on the way?

3. You have no credible hospital experience?

4. Your husband has recently cheated on you?

Come on - this is way too much drama. You need to prioritize your life before you continue down this same road with nothing working out.

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and what kind of example are you setting for your children?

i shudder to think of them ending up on welfare, becoming products of the system, because mom refused all opportunities to go forward.

yes mama, i get how inadequate you feel.

but rather than seek ways out of this hellhole, you're taking the "oh well" attitude and burying yourself.

you do have choices.

and what is sad, is you are making these choices for your children.

it's almost a form of neglect, to purposefully expose them to this type of life, rather than trying to better it for them.

dang, if you can't think enough of yourself, you at least owe it to your kids.

this apathy is destroying more than just you.

and it's just not fair.

i do pray you get help.

at the very least, please do that.

leslie

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Specializes in LTC, Sub-acute, correctional.

It doesn't sound like you're at all up to taking on a new job at this time. It's hard enough when you've got no other problems. All I can say is, accept that you may be kissing this opportunity goodbye forever and will need to look elsewhere when you feel ready to try again. Focus on your immediate needs and worry about the rest later. If DHS is your #1 option then do it, fast. Get that out of the way, then get yourself some support and help to figure out the next step. One thing at a time. Think Maslow's hierarchy of needs........ you can't worry about self fulfillment if you aren't safe and your family isn't fed. Best of luck to you.

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The job was at one of the hospitals in Middle Tennessee owned by St. Thomas. As far as hospitals go, I really like the faith-based not for profit Catholic hospitals. I decided to give it another shot but the baby didn't do any better so if being concerned about the baby's well-being makes me an inconsiderate slob I'll just have to be thought of that way. On top of that I almost flipped out at the end of orientation because the eye strain I've dealt with the last two days from looking up a big screen under fluorescent lights has given me a headache so bad I almost can't stand it and they go over and over the same information that we've all heard hundreds of times before (about restraints, ease a falling patient to the floor, smile to show the "customers" you care and go that extra mile like wipe up coffee out of the floor instead of waiting for housekeeping to do it...on and on. I did my best to stay focused but it was so hard.

One of the things they kept pounding into our heads was we were there to provide service to the poor and how good they treated their employees, even sending drug addicted nurses to rehab and offer them a chance at having their old job back instead of 1 strike and you're out. They were talking about how important children and families are but is this only if you are not employed by them? Might the NM understand if I explain how the baby is not doing well and on top of that orientation is moving so fast we hardly have a chance to use the bathroom much less sit somewhere and pump breastmilk and I'm concerned my milk will dry up? I wabnted to stop by to see theb lactation consultants when we went on a tour of the hospital but there wasn't time.

On top of that our close family friend was murdered last week and that tortures my mind a lot.

I would prefer not to have to work (wouldn't we all?) but I wouldn't accept a job with no intentions to do it. I just feel defeated.

I hope they would understand I'm not some pampered princess stomping her foot because she wants to stay at home and play with her baby and go to the shopping mall. I meant well and tried but it wasn't good enough.

If they are as understanding as they tell you they are maybe they would let me delay orientation a few months?

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