No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I thought those words earlier today after reading another thread that started to go sideways because some had an issue with the OP. This seems to be happening frequently; the OP will start a thread with the best of intentions; then someone responds with personal attacks against the OP (and misses the point of the post); then others pile on additional negative posts against the OP,

rendering the thread useless.

I wonder if those who try to debate the poster and not the post do anything to make AN a more welcoming place. Do they share their knowledge or experience with others? What have they done to become a valued member of AN?

I'm sure I'll be criticized for starting this thread. I may even have a few people take shots at me. I'm tough; if I can handle cancer, I can handle criticism from anonymous posters on a forum.

So how have you helped to make AN a positive place where nurses can learn from each other?

Specializes in Maternity.
I would just like to add that the snarky/snide comments suck. There is a difference between constructive criticism and plain ole criticism. I started a thread this past week and received A LOT of supportive comments as well as suggestions, I also got one where the poster told me to "grow up", and let me tell you that one comment hit me like a ton of bricks. It was completely insensitive and unnecessary. And I've seen similar comments and attacks on other threads. People don't post on here looking to be attacked and it's sad it happens.

Yes I was on that thread NurseQT. It kinda put my jaw on the floor as well. It seems like some posters get so dug in on their point of view that they lose perspective and really get angry if some one disagrees. What's wrong with agree to disagree? Why call people names and tell you to "grow up"? I don't get it.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I would just like to add that the snarky/snide comments suck. There is a difference between constructive criticism and plain ole criticism. I started a thread this past week and received A LOT of supportive comments as well as suggestions, I also got one where the poster told me to "grow up", and let me tell you that one comment hit me like a ton of bricks. It was completely insensitive and unnecessary. And I've seen similar comments and attacks on other threads. People don't post on here looking to be attacked and it's sad it happens.

The person who was sarcastic in the thread RNsRWe is referring to was the person asking for help, not the person responding to a request for help.

Sharp comments can sting, but you got a lot of supportive remarks, so try to focus on them.

Sometimes people don't mean to some across the way the post seems. Most of the people were supportive of your desire to be at your Dad's party.

I've decided to stop offering help, except for people I know, and for people in my specialty. I'll save my energies for people who are appreciative.

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Specializes in Prior military RN/current ICU RN..

Ok...but when people ask "is nursing school hard"...how do you respond? What is "hard" to them? People often ask vague questions and assume we know what they are asking. You say it should be a "welcoming" environment here? Where does it say that? And what do YOU define as "welcoming" environment"? So it may seem rude to you, but often people are looking for clarity for questions that are so vague there is no way to answer them. You may take this as "rude"..I have no idea. I am simply expressing the challenge of answering questions on a board.

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The person who was sarcastic in the thread RNsRWe is referring to was the person asking for help, not the person responding to a request for help.

Sharp comments can sting, but you got a lot of supportive remarks, so try to focus on them.

Sometimes people don't mean to some across the way the post seems. Most of the people were supportive of your desire to be at your Dad's party.

I've decided to stop offering help, except for people I know, and for people in my specialty. I'll save my energies for people who are appreciative.

Please don't stop offering help!!! It is appreciated more than you may know!

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
Please don't stop offering help!!! It is appreciated more than you may know!

Not if you read many of the nasty responses to even if a simple truthful answer is posted. Many of the one or two post "student" members post vile, venomous responses when seasoned members redirect or even try and direct the member to discovering the answer. The nasty retorts when it's explained the intent of an interview assignment is to go interview a licensed nurse face to face not post on an anonymous message board with no way to verify identity (and we give a multitude of suggestions to try)

If you saw some of the vulgar PMs and posts I've personally gotten for refusing to do someone's homework or illegally post copyrighted material or not giving the answer the poster wanted and gently posting the truth you would never return to this site.

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Specializes in Gerontology.
Me too. I'm curious.

Me three!

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Not if you read many of the nasty responses to even if a simple truthful answer is posted. Many of the one or two post "student" members post vile, venomous responses when seasoned members redirect or even try and direct the member to discovering the answer. The nasty retorts when it's explained the intent of an interview assignment is to go interview a licensed nurse face to face not post on an anonymous message board with no way to verify identity (and we give a multitude of suggestions to try)

If you saw some of the vulgar PMs and posts I've personally gotten for refusing to do someone's homework or illegally post copyrighted material or not giving the answer the poster wanted and gently posting the truth you would never return to this site.

​Testify!!!

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
​Testify!!!

People post some pretty mean stuff when they think they are anonymous. You won't find many of the posts I refer to as they were removed per ToS. I will never forget the obscene vulgar messages posted not long ago directed at me. Why? Because I passed the NCLEX first try. I offered insight and prep tips to another poster and was viscously attacked by another unhappy camper who took 4 tries to pass. Still makes me shudder.

Another member "cursed" me and called me a heathen when I suggested they consider a nursing refresher course or contact their school for assistance post NCLEX fails in double digits over a 5 year period post graduation. Never mind those that suggested the poster consider an alternate career... I thought a $200 refresher class (with remediation if fail again) would be more prudent than $2500+ in NCLEX test fees alone. Silly me

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
People post some pretty mean stuff when they think they are anonymous. You won't find many of the posts I refer to as they were removed per ToS. I will never forget the obscene vulgar messages posted not long ago directed at me. Why? Because I passed the NCLEX first try. I offered insight and prep tips to another poster and was viscously attacked by another unhappy camper who took 4 tries to pass. Still makes me shudder.

Another member "cursed" me and called me a heathen when I suggested they consider a nursing refresher course or contact their school for assistance post NCLEX fails in double digits over a 5 year period post graduation. Never mind those that suggested the poster consider an alternate career... I thought a $200 refresher class (with remediation if fail again) would be more prudent than $2500+ in NCLEX test fees alone. Silly me

Yeah, shame on you for that. Shame on you for crushing someone's DDDRRREEEAAAMMM to be a nurse. Those NCLEX tests don't mean anything. If you are called to be a nurse, you will be a great nurse. It's just a dumb test anyway.

I don't think I can even talk to you anymore, you dream killer! ( /sarc, and ;) just in case someone doesn't get it)

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Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.
Yes I was on that thread NurseQT. It kinda put my jaw on the floor as well. It seems like some posters get so dug in on their point of view that they lose perspective and really get angry if some one disagrees. What's wrong with agree to disagree? Why call people names and tell you to "grow up"? I don't get it.

I also participated in that thread. The heartless criticism and level of arrogance was disturbing.

It is apparent to me that some of these trolls are not nurses because they go into attack mode when given well thought out rationale or response.

The ignore user list under the dashboard on the account page is how I deal with immature and hostile posters.

They will go away if no one pays attention to them.

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In my opinion, the main problem with all of these threads with people arguing back and forth, piling on insults, is that they seem to push the more interesting conversations down the line. This forum has members brilliant minds, who have interesting ideas to share, and relevant advice to give on complex questions.

I hate that these posts get buried under multitudes of "this horrible nurse hurt my tender feelings," "young people these days are so entitled and self-involved," and seemingly infinite variations of "I'm right you're wrong."

Like Ruby says, you can't fix stupid. So let's quit trying! And instead, help make each other smarter!

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Me three!

coming right up!

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