No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Aug 10, 2014

It seems as though posters are more concerned with chips on their shoulders instead of being objective about postings.... :whistling:

ceebeejay · Aug 10, 2014

It's naive to think you can post your opinion on the internet and there will not be an opposing view. Should they attack personally, no. Again, it's the internet. It's just about as public as you can get. When I find myself getting worked up, I remind myself of that and I move on.

la_chica_suerte85, BSN, RN · Aug 10, 2014

I think the general idea is that, since this is a site devoted to the most trusted profession (and, emphasis on the "profession"), the discourse would be elevated beyond what is typical of "teh innerwebz." But, no, like the above post stated, it's still the internet. People go bonkers sometimes beyond reason.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 11, 2014

I hope I've helped make AN a better, more fun and educational place. Even with the best of intentions, though, you always offend someone and you just cannot fix stupid.

springchick1, ADN, RN · Aug 11, 2014

I thought those words earlier today after reading another thread that started to go sideways because some had an issue with the OP. This seems to be happening frequently; the OP will start a thread with the best of intentions; then someone responds with personal attacks against the OP (and misses the point of the post); then others pile on additional negative posts against the OP,
rendering the thread useless.

I don't think people are necessarily responding with a personal attack against the OP. People come to this site for advice but they may not always like the advice that's given. That's not an attack, it's a difference of opinion.

Debilpn23 · Aug 11, 2014

Ruby

I think you have definitely made AN a more fun and educational place

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 11, 2014

I don't think people are necessarily responding with a personal attack against the OP. People come to this site for advice but they may not always like the advice that's given. That's not an attack, it's a difference of opinion.

A difference of opinion is "I beg to disagree; I think ----" or "I understand your point, but my point is ----" or "However, I strongly disagree with your second to last paragraph. "

People were responsing with a personal attack. A difference of opinion is respectful . . . at least the first few times you bang your head against the brick wall.

nynursey_ · Aug 11, 2014

I'd like to share a thought shared with me by another nurse that can be helpful in dealing with less than desirable responses to AN posts.

"It starts and ends with me."

You're the one to put the idea out there and someone responds with a personal attack. Fine. You can't change their perspective and surely responding to it isn't fostering any more intelligent conversation, so I say don't acknowledge it, and move on. Sometimes people's negative reactions aren't necessarily in response to what you said, but more how they interpreted it and how it struck a chord in them. Realize that this is not about you, or what you said, and allow space for their feelings without entangling yours.

Hard lesson to learn but it's served me well.

SionainnRN · Aug 11, 2014

I think the biggest problem is when someone starts a thread and expects everyone to agree with them and someone tells them they are in the wrong, well they see that as a personal attack and retaliate. I've started threads where I've had my feelings hurt, but after pouting for awhile I realized they were right. It can be very hard to hear the truth, especially in this day and age. There seems to be too many special snowflakes.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Aug 11, 2014

...."passive agressive behavior has its own ICD code"...... I am going to remember that as I find that sometimes I am pulled into a direction I don't necessarily want to go. (However, very rude of someone to use it in that manner)

It is difficult to convey tone in a response. If someone is attempting to "keep it real" in their response, it can come off the completely wrong way. But when someone claims another "should not be a nurse" or other personal attacks, it says a great deal about them as people. Some of which were never taught what a filter is and how to use it.

When an OP of any given thread wants "be honest" and "give it to me straight" some take that to mean a complete dissection of a person, not the nurse in a situation. And as I have said before, I could say that I am the princess of the universe and we really have no way of knowing if this is truth or not. Some posters sarcasm/joking/irony doesn't convey well (

For a great many of us, myself included, there are some general themes that are learned the hard way. Being new, innocent, don't see it coming in any situation beyond stinks. Even my personal friends are taken aback at some of my thought processes. But if a person can relate (and I am always excited to learn new concepts on this site from any number of nurses) then perhaps a nurse will go into a situation with new tools.

And I am all about new tools.

Trauma Columnist · Aug 11, 2014

AN was developed by Brian, the site owner to be a supportive environment. It has now grown to be the largest site for nurses. As we all know the more people with varying backgrounds that enter a conversation, there are bound to be disagreements.

AN does have a "report" button (the yellow triangle in the bottom left hand corner of each post) and we encourage everyone to use it if they feel there is a personal attack or some other violation of our terms of service.

Terms of Service for Nurses | Nursing Students

We welcome all feedback...