New RN, how to save face

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I’m a new grad, 6 months in CCU so far. Last night I did something so stupid I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and not come out to face anyone at work for months. We just did shift change and I was in assessing my vented patient. He was completely stable, good pressure and pulse. Family was minutes away to sign the papers to switched to palliative care. I realized his pupils were pinpoint and nonreactive. I checked them several times then decided I should let the doctor know before family arrived. In comes the resident and 2 interns. I began to say to them I just wanted to let you know his pupils are no relative and he is Not responsive to painful stimuli. And then I say “so do you want to call it?” I didn’t even realize I said it until the intern listened to his heart and said he had a pulse. Then I kinda felt this weird out of body experience like did I really just say that out loud. We all left the room and a few minutes later I stepped back into the residents office and said something like I want to addend the earlier comment, I don’t know what I was saying, I knew he had a pulse and didn’t mean to say that. But I cannot shake the feeling of being a complete idiot. I’m afraid they will tell other doctors and nurses and everyone will think I am as incompetent as I feel. Any advice on what to do?

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×

.........Confidence, love yourself and forgive yourself. You are acting like you are suppose to know everything right away. It will come in time.

8
Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you for saying that. Of all things to know I should know when the patient is dead (I’m just sick about it). Sometimes I get so discouraged. I feel like I read and study as much as I can when I’m not at work. Every shift I give myself a little pep talk in my car about how I’m going to be thorough, efficient and plan ahead. I work at a fairly small hospital and I’m 34 years old so I’ve got the impression that other doctors and nurses think I’ve been an RN for a while, and I constantly feel like I’m disappointing them. The look on the residents face, when I went in to ‘clear-up’ the comment, was just like “yeah. You’re an idiot” he didn’t chuckle or smile he was just annoyed.

4
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

I would not give it a second thought! Everyone says stupid things at times, everyone. You do not need to save face to anyone. If anyone says anything to you I would just laugh it off with something like....yeah, I was so nervous I just blurted that out. We all say things in the moment we regret later, lesson learned, move on. And I guarantee you that the resident has also made stupid comments (even if s/he acts otherwise). Give your self a break and keep pushing forward focusing on the positive!! You got this!!

8
Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you for taking the time to comment on my thread. You have no idea how much it’s helped. It’s easy to get down on yourself when everyone around you is so smart and confident, and always know what to do.

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Mental Health, Gerontology, Palliative.

I recall once doing a home visit to a deaf client who lived on a majorly busy road.

"do you notice the noise much from X street"

Fortunately I realised what I had said at the same time as the patient who had a great sense of humour and we both laughed.

We all say things that we then think "oh crap did i really just say that". Point is, learn from it and move on. Self flagellation is not helpful

10
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

Just forget it, we all do this sometimes.

4
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER OR LTC Code Blue Trauma Dog.
6 hours ago, ERN19 said:

I began to say to them I just wanted to let you know his pupils are no relative and he is Not responsive to painful stimuli. And then I say “so do you want to call it?” I didn’t even realize I said it until the intern listened to his heart and said he had a pulse.

Honestly? It simply sounds to me like you wanted to prompt the intern to check him over more carefully.

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Oncology (OCN).

I have found that most of the time, we (the person who says something inappropriate) usually thinks about it far more than anyone else. I’m a classic over-thinker! I can obsess over something stupid I’ve said for days! And at times, I’ve even gone to someone to apologize and had them look at me like “what are you talking about?”. Of course then I obsess about that, lol!

I usually find a good dose of humor and the ability to laugh at myself helps the situation. (And I’ve become accustomed to the taste of my own foot!). I’ll never forget one time making the off-hand comment to a patient, “We’ll have you back up on your feet in no time.” He was in for a BKA. As soon as I said it I was mortified and I couldn’t hide it. He said, “Not likely!” And started laughing! Luckily he had a sense of humor because I wanted the earth to swallow me up. I apologized profusely and he just laughed at the look on my face.

I’ve never made that comment again, but I’ve made my share of others. I usually find being able to laugh about it helps, especially with colleagues. (Unless you’ve actually inadvertently insulted someone, then obviously it’s not appropriate.)

8
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Surgical, quality,management.

Don't worry about it!

Just be kind to the next person who makes a fluff and pay it forward.

8
Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you all sooo much. I feel like you all are prob right and I know you’re being unbiased because you don’t know me ha! I plan to use this site for lots of questions in the future. I’m very lucky to have all of you, with such extensive experience, send me reassurance, so thank you truly!

3
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Do you think every single person in your department has a bonehead story of their own? Of course they do. They're just not going to tell it.

12
Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment