ERN19

Thank you all sooo much. I feel like you all are prob right and I know you’re being unbiased because you don’t know me ha! I plan to use this site for lots of questions in the future. I’m very lucky to have all of you, with such extensive experience, send me reassurance, so thank you truly!

Thank you for taking the time to comment on my thread. You have no idea how much it’s helped. It’s easy to get down on yourself when everyone around you is so smart and confident, and always know what to do.

Thank you for saying that. Of all things to know I should know when the patient is dead (I’m just sick about it). Sometimes I get so discouraged. I feel like I read and study as much as I can when I’m not at work. Every shift I give myself a little pep talk in my car about how I’m going to be thorough, efficient and plan ahead. I work at a fairly small hospital and I’m 34 years old so I’ve got the impression that other doctors and nurses think I’ve been an RN for a while, and I constantly feel like I’m disappointing them. The look on the residents face, when I went in to ‘clear-up’ the comment, was just like “yeah. You’re an idiot” he didn’t chuckle or smile he was just annoyed.

I’m a new grad, 6 months in CCU so far. Last night I did something so stupid I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and not come out to face anyone at work for months. We just did shift change and I was in assessing my vented patient. He was completely stable, good pressure and pulse. Family was minutes away to sign the papers to switched to palliative care. I realized his pupils were pinpoint and nonreactive. I checked them several times then decided I should let the doctor know before family arrived. In comes the resident and 2 interns. I began to say to them I just wanted to let you know his pupils are no relative and he is Not responsive to painful stimuli. And then I say “so do you want to call it?” I didn’t even realize I said it until the intern listened to his heart and said he had a pulse. Then I kinda felt this weird out of body experience like did I really just say that out loud. We all left the room and a few minutes later I stepped back into the residents office and said something like I want to addend the earlier comment, I don’t know what I was saying, I knew he had a pulse and didn’t mean to say that. But I cannot shake the feeling of being a complete idiot. I’m afraid they will tell other doctors and nurses and everyone will think I am as incompetent as I feel. Any advice on what to do?

Sorry to put this here, but how do you start a new thread?