New nurse having a hard time with coworkers

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So I need some advice. I am new to my job...I've been off orientation for about 3 months. I'm an outgoing person and I've never had any issues getting along with others. Well I find that many of the other nurses at work have so much attitude and it seems like they are always judging or criticising me. I am not one to just let them step all over me and I opened my mouth a few times and say things like "why do you give me attitude" or "what do you have against me that you talk to me that way." The responses which I got were horrible and usually denial, which leaves me feeling bad abt what I said and wanting to apologize. I've never had to deal with issues like this and I need advice.

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Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

If you meet one jerk, you've met a jerk. If almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you're the jerk. Perhaps it's time for some self reflection- the phrases you posted that you responded with aren't exactly the most polite and border on confrnotational.

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So I need some advice. I am new to my job...I've been off orientation for about 3 months. I'm an outgoing person and I've never had any issues getting along with others. Well I find that many of the other nurses at work have so much attitude and it seems like they are always judging or criticising me. I am not one to just let them step all over me and I opened my mouth a few times and say things like "why do you give me attitude" or "what do you have against me that you talk to me that way." The responses which I got were horrible and usually denial, which leaves me feeling bad abt what I said and wanting to apologize. I've never had to deal with issues like this and I need advice.

Not knowing you and not knowing them, the paragraph above reads (to me) as follows:

"I'm an RN now, and although I'm brand new at this job and in fact this entire profession, 'I got this', and I'm not gonna tolerate anyone trying to tell me anything".

I mean, are they judging and criticizing your hair style, or some aspect of the way you carry out your professional duties? If the latter, it is sad and wrong if they are not approaching you in a collegial manner, but you can nip that in the bud by not "taking the bait", so-to-speak. Instead of doing the same thing they're reportedly doing (conducting rude and unprofessional interactions), you could resolve to remain open-minded and calm and reply, "Could you explain more?" or "Would you show me how you do it?" or "I was taught to do it this way, how were you taught to do it?" or "I don't think I'm seeing what you're seeing...here's what I was thinking..." etc., etc. If they're just looking to be jerks and get a rise out of you, they will be disappointed. On the other hand, if they're looking to advise you about things that you could actually use some advice about (whether you realize it or not), you will be able to take advantage of the opportunity to learn.

If your conscience is telling you that you owe anyone an apology, apologize. Try to start over on a better relationship with them.

Good luck.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Moved to patient/colleague relations

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Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.
So I need some advice. I am new to my job...I've been off orientation for about 3 months. I'm an outgoing person and I've never had any issues getting along with others. Well I find that many of the other nurses at work have so much attitude and it seems like they are always judging or criticising me. I am not one to just let them step all over me and I opened my mouth a few times and say things like "why do you give me attitude" or "what do you have against me that you talk to me that way." The responses which I got were horrible and usually denial, which leaves me feeling bad abt what I said and wanting to apologize. I've never had to deal with issues like this and I need advice.

You need to turn this around quickly. You can only change yourself, so focus on being the best team player you can be. Choose to make friends. The previous posters gave you some good advice.

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welcome to nursing honey!! I'm so sorry say, but I have been in your place for YEARS! I have been a nurse now for 10 years, was a CNA/CHHA about 5 years before that and did volunteer work and also taught swimming to children with disabilities for 14 years before that. I have been a punching bag for my co workers and bosses since I passed boards. Nursing is very catty and horrible to each other and its just plain SAD!!!! Instead of helping each other and learning from one another, they hate you if work hard, or don't follow their rules or if your heart is too gold, or if you were just plain raised to respect and have manners. I have been given a lovely hand of being born bipolar; which I didn't get diagnosed until 22 and starting nursing school; I only told the owner of that school because I had started meds and as a reward, the teacher, a nurse, told me I belonged locked up in a psych ward and to give up on my dream. Well, I showed her! But. I also never told a single person for the next 10 years about myself because I would have nurses say, "that person's so crazy, they must be bipolar!" Only one time did I say, "you guys know I am right? Bipolar" they would laugh and tell me I was funny. But through all my years I was constantly dealing with at least 5 nurses who bullied me for 1 that was great and a mentor. I finally had to take only temp positions so I didn't get caught in the drama. I pray you find a happy place, but you find its better to move around. If only nurses learned to work together and be in our patients best interest.

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Specializes in Trauma | Surgical ICU.
welcome to nursing honey!! I'm so sorry say, but I have been in your place for YEARS! I have been a nurse now for 10 years, was a CNA/CHHA about 5 years before that and did volunteer work and also taught swimming to children with disabilities for 14 years before that. I have been a punching bag for my co workers and bosses since I passed boards. Nursing is very catty and horrible to each other and its just plain SAD!!!

...If only nurses learned to work together and be in our patients best interest.

I have to disagree. There are nurses with some attitude, we have to as nurses. Don't we? We have to be able to stand up for our patients. But nursing is far from being catty and horrible.

I'm biased, I guess, because I do like my coworkers. Even a person I dislike, I respect as a professional. If there is a problem with how others perceive you, maybe you can open the conversation about the misconceptions they may have. If the problem persists, maybe go to your supervisor.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
If you meet one jerk, you've met a jerk. If almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you're the jerk. Perhaps it's time for some self reflection- the phrases you posted that you responded with aren't exactly the most polite and border on confrnotational.

this!!!

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Specializes in Med Surg Tele.
If you meet one jerk, you've met a jerk. If almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you're the jerk. Perhaps it's time for some self reflection- the phrases you posted that you responded with aren't exactly the most polite and border on confrnotational.

What if you meet like, one jerk a day? Then what are you?

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
If you meet one jerk, you've met a jerk. If almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you're the jerk. Perhaps it's time for some self reflection- the phrases you posted that you responded with aren't exactly the most polite and border on confrnotational.

This is not always true. In situations of bullying, it's cultural to pick on a vulnerable person.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
I opened my mouth a few times and say things like "why do you give me attitude" or "what do you have against me that you talk to me that way." The responses which I got were horrible and usually denial, which leaves me feeling bad abt what I said and wanting to apologize. I've never had to deal with issues like this and I need advice.

Don't ask perps questions. Asking questions gives them power. Make statements. Take responsibility for your feelings. "I feel like I'm being judged and criticized unfairly and inappropriately and I want it to stop. If you have a complaint with me, let's work it out. Otherwise I will need to utilize alternative methods to rectify this problem situation".

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Specializes in Psych,LTC,.
If you meet one jerk, you've met a jerk. If almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you're the jerk. Perhaps it's time for some self reflection- the phrases you posted that you responded with aren't exactly the most polite and border on confrnotational.

Sometimes, sometimes not. But some self reflection usually doesn't hurt.

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