New nurse having a hard time with coworkers

fresnovet · Jul 19, 2017

I love what you wrote. The catch phrase is "new nurse" but what people may forget is that a newcomer is not naive in all aspects of life. May be immature in the current practice they're entering and need molding, but the does not include a naivety in life. Me for example, I am a specially and professionally trained veteran, I've been around the world, done some pretty hard jobs, and helped a lot of people. Humbleness was in our motto, and I've been humble checked a few times to make sure that was instilled. It is done for all of our baby "vets." Since the beginning of nursing school and to the present, I have quietly watched RNs, Dr., CNAs, LVN, RT, PT, DPT, etc. (social worker!) act unprofessional to some degree. One must continue to be an example and learn how to roll with the punches. Smile at your adversary and learn.

tedards1 · Jul 19, 2017

Fresnovet made an outstanding observation about a novice nurse not necessarily being a greenhorn at life in general. I have a sneaking suspicion that in many circumstances I would rather have fresnovet caring for me than a myopic, selfish nurse with multiple years of experience. Fresnovet likely has a great deal of common sense, is personable, reads people better than the average person, always remains calm in a crisis, is probably more culturally aware/sensitive of my needs, and treats me with professional courtesy and respect even if I do not afford him/her the same courtesy.

Smile at your adversary and learn, but feel free to give them black licorice gum disguised as juicy fruit, put saline in their coffee, and laugh hysterically (in your head) when they have to administer an M & M enema. Okay, I am kidding.

fresnovet · Jul 19, 2017

You may want to think about leaving the negative environment. Move to a new unit. Do something before you become the blamed.

feelix, RN · Jul 19, 2017

If you meet one jerk, you've met a jerk. If almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you're the jerkl.

That is so not true. Instead of helping a person with a genuine concern, you are throwing a cliche at this person. The healthcare workplace IS the most rude workplace. Coming from the business world, where people treat each other with respect, I too was confounded by the poor attitude of co-workers in healthcare. Lateral aggression is a reality and people have had lives and interactions before in which they were happy. This person did not suddenly become a jerk by changing careers. It is the putrid environment that is getting to her.

We need to find solutions rather than lay blame. Maybe that would help things get cleaned up on the jobsite too.

To the OP: My experience at every job as a nurse has been similar. People try their best to make a new worker/manager fail. What you need to do is stay away from controversies and cliques and do your job. Laugh with everyone and laugh at no one. Don't consider anybody your friend and confide. It will come around to bite you. Stay on top of your work. Find a mentor who can guide and help you. Offer help where needed, but don't let people walk over you. Don't say a word that can be quoted agaist you. This will take 2 years. If you survive any nursing floor for 2 years, people will stop trying to bump you off and accept you. Sad for every new job you will take.

fresnovet · Jul 19, 2017

Fresnovet made an outstanding observation about a novice nurse not necessarily being a greenhorn at life in general. I have a sneaking suspicion that in many circumstances I would rather have fresnovet caring for me than a myopic, selfish nurse with multiple years of experience. Fresnovet likely has a great deal of common sense, is personable, reads people better than the average person, always remains calm in a crisis, is probably more culturally aware/sensitive of my needs, and treats me with professional courtesy and respect even if I do not afford him/her the same courtesy.
Smile at your adversary and learn, but feel free to give them black licorice gum disguised as juicy fruit, put saline in their coffee, and laugh hysterically (in your head) when they have to administer an M & M enema. Okay, I am kidding.

You made my day :) and we just became best friends!

johnandcosmo · Jul 20, 2017

I say keep calling them out. Forget that crap by Rose_Queen. STAND YOUR GROUND! Don't be intimidated and just keep reading/studying your specialty at least 1 hr/day, everyday! Cross your T's. Dot your I's. Always do a thorough assessment during your shift start/end. Check your meds. Stay strong and forget those ole' hag bullies! That's MY OPINION (advice)!

John Lee Bass, NP, CNS, PhD

Chief Nurse Practitioner - Trauma/Critical Care

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 20, 2017

That is so not true. Instead of helping a person with a genuine concern, you are throwing a cliche at this person. The healthcare workplace IS the most rude workplace. Coming from the business world, where people treat each other with respect, I too was confounded by the poor attitude of co-workers in healthcare. Lateral aggression is a reality and people have had lives and interactions before in which they were happy. This person did not suddenly become a jerk by changing careers. It is the putrid environment that is getting to her.
We need to find solutions rather than lay blame. Maybe that would help things get cleaned up on the jobsite too.
To the OP: My experience at every job as a nurse has been similar. People try their best to make a new worker/manager fail. What you need to do is stay away from controversies and cliques and do your job. Laugh with everyone and laugh at no one. Don't consider anybody your friend and confide. It will come around to bite you. Stay on top of your work. Find a mentor who can guide and help you. Offer help where needed, but don't let people walk over you. Don't say a word that can be quoted agaist you. This will take 2 years. If you survive any nursing floor for 2 years, people will stop trying to bump you off and accept you. Sad for every new job you will take.

Helping a person to understand what they've contributed to the mess in which they've found themselves IS helping. No, someone doesn't become a jerk just because they've changed careers. Let's put this another, less cliched way. If you have difficulty getting along with several or all of your coworkers, perhaps you ought to think long and hard about what YOU are bringing to the interactions. If you have a poor workplace relationship with one person, perhaps it's them. If you have poor workplace relationships with several, a majority or all of your coworkers, you ought to at least consider the probability that it's not THEM, it's YOU.

Even if you're only having difficulty getting along with one or two colleagues, you ought to take stock of what YOU are bringing to the interactions. You cannot change someone else and make their behavior more pleasing to you. You can only change your own behavior. And that ought to be considered well before you think about "reporting them" or taking the matter up the chain. It is very likely that management will consider YOU to be the problem. An established employee has far more credibility than the new employee, even when management KNOWS they have issues. Better the devil you know (the established employee) than the devil you don't (the newbie.)

If your own experience at every nursing job you've ever held has been negative relationships with coworkers, perhaps you ought to forget about counseling others on how to handle workplace relationships and instead concentrate on figuring out why YOU have had all of these negative experiences. Because I doubt very much that every job you've held is full of awful people. It's not them, it's probably you.

To all of the newbies having difficult workplace relationships, think about this: Do you want to take advice from someone who has universally negative relationships in the workplace? Or from people who are happy with their jobs, their managers, their workplace relationships and their lives? Then read back over this thread (and all the others out there on the same topic) with fresh eyes.

Skippingtowork · Jul 20, 2017

Helping a person to understand what they've contributed to the mess in which they've found themselves IS helping. No, someone doesn't become a jerk just because they've changed careers. Let's put this another, less cliched way. If you have difficulty getting along with several or all of your coworkers, perhaps you ought to think long and hard about what YOU are bringing to the interactions. If you have a poor workplace relationship with one person, perhaps it's them. If you have poor workplace relationships with several, a majority or all of your coworkers, you ought to at least consider the probability that it's not THEM, it's YOU.
Even if you're only having difficulty getting along with one or two colleagues, you ought to take stock of what YOU are bringing to the interactions. You cannot change someone else and make their behavior more pleasing to you. You can only change your own behavior. And that ought to be considered well before you think about "reporting them" or taking the matter up the chain. It is very likely that management will consider YOU to be the problem. An established employee has far more credibility than the new employee, even when management KNOWS they have issues. Better the devil you know (the established employee) than the devil you don't (the newbie.)
If your own experience at every nursing job you've ever held has been negative relationships with coworkers, perhaps you ought to forget about counseling others on how to handle workplace relationships and instead concentrate on figuring out why YOU have had all of these negative experiences. Because I doubt very much that every job you've held is full of awful people. It's not them, it's probably you.
To all of the newbies having difficult workplace relationships, think about this: Do you want to take advice from someone who has universally negative relationships in the workplace? Or from people who are happy with their jobs, their managers, their workplace relationships and their lives? Then read back over this thread (and all the others out there on the same topic) with fresh eyes.

Sorry Ruby Vee, but I have to say that wolves run in packs. That's how they get their strength, and they never see themselves that way, until called on the carpet. Then they become defensive. Some people have stronger personalities, and although they recognize that people are being disrespectful to them, they still come out on top, because they couldn't care less about the bruts. But that does not make the situation right. I have been in environments and observed this behavior, while in other environments, this behavior would not get past the first bark. Leadership and co-workers would not stand for it.

Ruby Vee, here's a hypothetical situation for you. A young woman with mild intellectual difficulties is working in the hospital as a unit secretary. She does her work well, but is a little slower than most. You see your co-workers ignoring her most of the time, and being impatient and rude with her at other times. Is she the problem? No matter the personality of the person complaining, there is never any good reason to be rude. Please, let's not teach our new nurses that there is something wrong with those who are mistreated. Let's teach them not to mistreat others.

marylou5 · Jul 20, 2017

New nurses are targets..(and I've changed jobs enough, because of relocations, to know that is true in most places).

I don't 'make friends', join in personal conversations or cliques...there are always the princesses... and the followers!

I just do my job...professionally....keeping personal chat and contact to a minimum...and smile a lot!

You are always a threat if you do your job well, and heaven forbid if a pt tells them how much they like you!

I'm polite to a fault, thank everyone who answers my questions, try not to ask the same nurse too many questions.

I dumb down instead of showing off..and if someone tells me I'm doing something wrong, or I didn't do ,

or I should have done, I simply say 'Thanks for the heads up..appreciate that!" Even if I know it's a bullying tactic to put the new nurse down!

I tell the Manager/Charge nurse how much I appreciate the help/hints everyone gave me..made the day easier!

I don't complain or put down anyone...you're the 'newbie'...and you have to prove yourself every time you change jobs!

You play the game! Not fair, not nice..it is what it is.

You can cop an attitude and make enemies, or go about your business. They usually come around if you don't make waves!!!

subee, MSN, CRNA · Jul 20, 2017

Can't lile Marylou5's answer more. Sounds like a Midwesterner (The Midwest..God's gift to the planet:)

Seriously, things started going downhill when nurses in hospitals no longer had a DON who was responsible to nursing staff, not the corporate bean counters. Misery on the floors come from above. Also, little girls don't get to play enough team sports. That's where we learn How to be team players. Nurses usually mean well but

usually need guidance on surviving in the artificial and stressful environments we work in.

Wuzzie · Jul 20, 2017

I say keep calling them out. Forget that crap by Rose_Queen. STAND YOUR GROUND! Don't be intimidated and just keep reading/studying your specialty at least 1 hr/day, everyday! Cross your T's. Dot your I's. Always do a thorough assessment during your shift start/end. Check your meds. Stay strong and forget those ole' hag bullies! That's MY OPINION (advice)!
John Lee Bass, NP, CNS, PhD
Chief Nurse Practitioner - Trauma/Critical Care

Since you are an obvious supporter of calling people out let me tell you that not every ole [sic] nurse is a bully and not every bully is an ole[sic] hag. Plenty of young nurses are less than stellar human beings who derive a great deal of pleasure out of picking on people. Quit with the stereotyping. Also, it appears your all caps key is sticking. :whistling:

redheadrn86 · Jul 20, 2017

I stopped reading the comments here after the first page of "this must be your problem not theirs" when they've got so little evidence to go on- what a poor example of non-judgement. Actually this entire thread looks like an example of the crap that goes on between nursing staff.

I'm really sorry you've found yourself in this kind of environment. Nurses have attitude in general and it helps with the job- I've gone from soft and nerdy to weird and vocal very quickly, but I think a lot of the stress of the job and the need to fit in make it similar socially to highschool with the cliques etc. If you're new and you stick up for yourself, particularly if you're conscientious and speak up for everyone when the status quo has been to just not rock the boat for example, you might find yourself in the firing line. Keep a record of incidents and your reactions to them- see if there's any link/triggers, speak with other newbies, is it something you can fix by changing your own behaviour (note not reducing your standards) or do you need to find a new job/speak to seniors? Whatever you do don't put up and shut up and definitely don't join in to fit in.