New nurse having a hard time with coworkers

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So I need some advice. I am new to my job...I've been off orientation for about 3 months. I'm an outgoing person and I've never had any issues getting along with others. Well I find that many of the other nurses at work have so much attitude and it seems like they are always judging or criticising me. I am not one to just let them step all over me and I opened my mouth a few times and say things like "why do you give me attitude" or "what do you have against me that you talk to me that way." The responses which I got were horrible and usually denial, which leaves me feeling bad abt what I said and wanting to apologize. I've never had to deal with issues like this and I need advice.

Keep a record of incidents and your reactions to them- see if there's any link/triggers, speak with other newbies, is it something you can fix by changing your own behaviour (note not reducing your standards) or do you need to find a new job/speak to seniors? Whatever you do don't put up and shut up and definitely don't join in to fit in.

Very sage advice. If you find yourself in a position like this it's important to look at it from both sides, what you are responsible for causing and what you cannot control then adjust accordingly. Actually Red (hope it's okay I shortened your name) I think you are on the same page as the other posters you think you disagreed with. You kind of said the same thing but in a more palatable way.;)

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I am a new nurse and all I have to say is this. I am having the exact same thing happen to me currently at my new job. EVERYONE has terrible attitudes, so bad in fact I have to laugh to myself to stay sane at times, it's just that bad. I have also heard that lots of nurses are leaving the unit because it's a toxic environment. I don't believe that it's just you that's the problem for one second!!!!

Hang in there, and if you don't like it, look for another position elsewhere. Talk to your manager. Most importantly, do whats best for you.

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It's not that I disagree, I just disliked how the assumption is that a young new nurse having issues fitting in must be a 'jerk'. We get enough crap from patients/management in this job without eating our own. I've recently moved areas- I've gone from control to chaos and while the nursing is my comfort, socially it's a shock to the system. My new colleagues are louder, harsher, crueler, and more judgemental than I'm used to but I'm also sure they'd the be ones I'd want in my corner if I needed back up (but they'd have to believe I needed/deserved it first). If I was 23 and just out of training I'd be kacking it to. She needs support not an attack on her personality. And Red'll do just fine :)

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Specializes in Psych, Geriatrics.

Yeah, I did the ignore, remain silent, "brush it off," until they decided to bring their 'complaints' to HR and I was given the writing on the wall. Their complaints were that "I had allergies," "Jesus had told her I was evil," and "I had talked to her about her dress code." The last one, yes, I did, she was going BAREFOOT in a nursing station on a psych ward. Um, yeah.

The other complaints were ludicrous. Some people are just nasty and there seems to be a lot of that in nursing. As it was "suggested" to me, I left the job quickly and got a much better one to boot. My advice - if brought in front of HR, bring a tape recorder.

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I feel your pain. Nursing is a profession and therefore the people practicing it should be professional. Unfortunately, nursing is also a female dominated profession. When ever you get a group of females together, the catty behavior has a tendency to come out. Remember that group of girls from high school. It just comes with the territory. I am not saying that all females are catty, but there is always that one group who practice it well. This is one of the reasons why lateral violence is so prevalent is the nursing profession.

My advice - focus on the job, help others when you can, provide the best care possible for your patients and be yourself, Life starts to suck when you try to be someone that you are not. In life you will get along with some and not others.

When things happen make sure you document what happened, when, and everything else. Like one person says always bring a voice recorder when meeting with manager, directors and HR. You would be surprised how things can be misinterpreted, changed, etc.

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This is too bad and really makes for an uncomfortable situation. Is there a counselor there you can discuss how to best handle these nurses? I agree with one of the posts that your questions to your peers did not show much confidence and left you wide open lol. . Do your work, spend time with someone who is positive ( there's one somewhere) and keep improving your skills instead of worrying about them . If it gets really stressing and effects your work / health report it

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

Thanks for the link! I checked it out, and it supports my premise that it is better to take advice from happy people than from disgruntled folks. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you CAN control how you react to it. According to Abraham Lincoln, most folks are almost exactly as happy as they make up their minds they're going to be. So why not make up your mind to adapt, look for the positive in people and situations and be happy? You're more likely to be successful and it's a damned sight more fun than being sad, disgruntled or angry.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
It's not that I disagree, I just disliked how the assumption is that a young new nurse having issues fitting in must be a 'jerk'. We get enough crap from patients/management in this job without eating our own. I've recently moved areas- I've gone from control to chaos and while the nursing is my comfort, socially it's a shock to the system. My new colleagues are louder, harsher, crueler, and more judgemental than I'm used to but I'm also sure they'd the be ones I'd want in my corner if I needed back up (but they'd have to believe I needed/deserved it first). If I was 23 and just out of training I'd be kacking it to. She needs support not an attack on her personality. And Red'll do just fine :)

I don't think anyone assumed that the original poster was a jerk. They were just quoting a cliche -- I first heard it from the character Raylon Givens on "Justified". It probably didn't start there. Put somewhat less bluntly (and Raylon is a character given to settling all disputes with a .357): If you are having problems with one person, perhaps that person is at fault. If you're having problems with everyone you meet, the fault is with you. That doesn't make you a jerk. In fact, in my first post on this thread, I assumed the OP was an introvert like me. I've had similar problems when I started a new job, and once I realized that all of those "mean people" were reacting to what *I* put out there, I was able to turn it around. They didn't change. I just changed the way I interacted with them -- less comfortable for me, but more comfortable to them and it resulted in me becoming part of the team.

Regardless of whether the new person having difficulties fitting in is a "jerk" or not, it is up to the new person to adapt to the new work environment. It is not up to the established employees to adapt to the new person. A little friendliness would be a good thing, yes, but according to the OP, she wasn't putting out any friendliness, either.

It took me too long to realize that it isn't enough to be right, to be a good nurse with good critical thinking skills, a solid knowledge base and clinical judgement. You have to be NICE, too. (In other words, you have to be LIKED.) If you aren't liked, all of your great skills aren't going to keep you your job when you get into trouble. If you ARE liked, you may still keep your job even though you lack critical thinking skills, knowledge base and clinical judgement -- at least for long enough to prove you weren't in any danger of actually developing those things.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I feel your pain. Nursing is a profession and therefore the people practicing it should be professional. Unfortunately, nursing is also a female dominated profession. When ever you get a group of females together, the catty behavior has a tendency to come out. Remember that group of girls from high school. It just comes with the territory. I am not saying that all females are catty, but there is always that one group who practice it well. This is one of the reasons why lateral violence is so prevalent is the nursing profession.

My advice - focus on the job, help others when you can, provide the best care possible for your patients and be yourself, Life starts to suck when you try to be someone that you are not. In life you will get along with some and not others.

When things happen make sure you document what happened, when, and everything else. Like one person says always bring a voice recorder when meeting with manager, directors and HR. You would be surprised how things can be misinterpreted, changed, etc.

PSSSSST! Your misogyny is showing.

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Although I wholeheartedly agree with some of your earlier comments about choosing happiness, the end of this post completely floors me. You have a very interesting perspective.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Although I wholeheartedly agree with some of your earlier comments about choosing happiness, the end of this post completely floors me. You have a very interesting perspective.

Which post are you referencing?

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