I am a new grad (May 04), and passed boards July 1st. I have 2 kids ages 8 and 3. My son is going into 3rd grade and we just signed a modeling contract for my daughter. I have no desire to start working. I applied at USC and got offered the position as a Trauma nurse and turned it down because I want to stay home with my kids. I feel they need me now.
Am I crazy or do others have the same concerns. I feel I worked so hard to get this degree and now I don't want to use it right now. I will maybe feel different in about 4-6 months. My family thinks I 'm crazy
Well - OP - what do you think? Have we been helpful throwing out different ideas. I do apologize for asking if you had taken the NCLEX - I guess I missed that sentence. Good luck in whatever you decide...judi
Specializes in Gerontological Nursing, Acute Rehab.
I am sorry you feel this way, truly. I am concerned only because you in NO way offered a solution or helped with the OP's problem. I don't think this post was very helpful. She is in the middle of a tough decision-making problem/dilemma.
You know what: Each situation is different, and while maybe some of us do not work outside the home full-time to keep a roof over our heads, it by any means does NOT mean we don't sacrifice HEAVILY to be home with our kids, either. I cut out a lot of "extras" in order to be home, not to mention stalling out my career, in order to raise my kids. It does not mean I took up a spot a "more deserving " person could have had. I earned it like you did and she did! Advice one nurse to another: Don't be so quick to judge others please.
THANK YOU DEB! I only work part time hours, and I sure do get sick of people saying, "You're luck to be able to work only a little." It's not luck, it's sacrifice. Sure, I'd love to advance in my career, I'd love to do L&D nursing or go back to school, but I'm not willing to devote myself full time plus to learning a new specialty, or advancing my career. Sure, I'm in a comfort zone at work, but I still love what I do and where I work. And my kids need me now more than any job does. No, I never get Employee of the Month because I never come in extra or stay late or volunteer to pick up extra, but waking up with my kids every morning means a heck of a lot more than that ever would to me. Im glad there are nurses that can give that much, but does that mean that they are better nurses than me? Ask the husband who I sat with for over a half and hour with holding his hand and his wife's hand as we watched her die together because he couldn't stand being alone. How lucky we ALL are as nurses to be able to work different hours and schedules and still have a rewarding career!
To the OP, you need to do what your heart tells you....I gave up a dream job in L&D because I couldn't face putting my kids in daycare while I would be in training. Lots of people thought I was crazy...but who cares...I'm happy and my kids are happy....that's all that matters! Good luck!
I won't make any judgements about working or not. But I do want to say it will be harder finding a nursing job later than it is now. You have skills that are fresh. You will probably have to take a refresher course if you don't start for a while.
Been there/Done that----well, kind of. I was 39 when I graduated with a BSN I had enjoyed going back to school so much. I had worked most of my life prior to this and school was great! So, I enrolled in grad school and kept on doing what I was enjoying. My second year of grad school I picked up 2 shifts a week--just so I could say I had worked as a RN. I say if the kids are your priority, then that's where you should be. You've got the rest of your life to be a nurse. What's the hurry? Believe me, I wish all parents would worry more about their children and far less about their careers, material possessions and money. My wife has a BS in Health Information Management and is certified as an administrator of such. At the height of her career, she made the decision to give it up and be a SAHM. She has never regretted it. I only wish she had made the decision sooner. The positive impact it had on our kids was amazing and almost immediate. I hope all you career nurses(Guys---note this is not gender specific) are paying close attention to this. If a very slight malaise is forthcoming, don't worry, it's likely you're feeling the onset of some pangs of guilt. I know, I've experienced them. If so, it probably just means you're in a position financially to put your career on hold. Believe me, your kids would much rather have more of your time than that new SUV you're working so hard to pay for.
And finally, Who the heck cares about the impact of 1 person going through school and then not practicing. I really don't think the sad state of our limited opportunities for nursing ed in this country should be shouldered by you, OP, whether or not you ever decide to practice. That is a burden, as Americans we all must share. We all have the right to vote and if the politicians we're electing haven't seen fit to remedy the situation, then we have nowhere to place the blame but on ourselves. When was the last time any of us wrote an elected official and voiced our concerns. It would certainly do alot more good than chastising OP for her actions.
OP, it's great to hear something other than the norm. I find it refreshing! Oh and about the family members that think you're crazy, unless they footed the bill for your tuition and want repayment, who cares what they think? Mine said the same thing when I told them I didn't want to be a farmer any longer and I was going back to college to become a nurse, at the age of 35. Good luck!
Ithink whatever you want to do in regards to your job do it, do what feels right to you. I would at least work part time in case you need something to fall back on one day. I just finished a 3 yr masters program and during the "clinical" part I realized I hated it and could not do this as a career. Graduation was bittersweet. Ih ave gotten my share of **** from people rolling their eyes, etc. when I tell them my situation but I don't care. It's your business , no one elses.
Yes, there are waiting lists. This is not a new development. They were there when I applied for nursing school 9 years ago. I waited it out and kept trying. And, Did any of you ask how long the OP waited to get into nursing school?
I don't understand where all the waitings lists are. I have applied to several schools of nursing and have been accepted every time and I am no scholar.
And regarding the original post, I can see where at a glance it would seem like it was written by some kind of spoiled self-serving suburbanite who was whining because she didn't really have to work and *waaaa* she didn't want to work and kind of rubbing it in everyone else's face who has to be out burning the candle at both ends while she can be driving her daughter around to modeling jobs and going out to lunch...but I really do not believe she meant it like that.
I am a new grad (May 04), and passed boards July 1st. I have 2 kids ages 8 and 3. My son is going into 3rd grade and we just signed a modeling contract for my daughter. I have no desire to start working. I applied at USC and got offered the position as a Trauma nurse and turned it down because I want to stay home with my kids. I feel they need me now.
Am I crazy or do others have the same concerns. I feel I worked so hard to get this degree and now I don't want to use it right now. I will maybe feel different in about 4-6 months. My family thinks I 'm crazy
Please help.
Tara
It is great that you recieved your degree but I very much respect your feelings about family. There is nothing more important(except God) than family. Do nothing about family and it will fall apart!
where do you see that LPN to RN???? Wow perspective can be so different.
Well, if you just look at "New grad. not *wanting* to work" and "daughter has a *modeling* contract" and "have no desire to work" I think it could be construed to mean that whoever feels this way must be some kind of spoiled brat...I kind of got the feeling from a few of the earlier discussions that is how they took it to mean.
But reading the post carefully I do not believe this to be the case. If she is anything like I was when I finished the practical nursing program she is probably just plain TIRED after being put through the wringer. Not only that but more importantly, she feels her children need her, and I can identify with that 100%. Don't care how bad I want to be a nurse, when it comes to my children nursing can take a hike.
I don't think anyone should rag on anyone who wants to stay at home with their kids. I know of a woman who left her career as a surgeon to stay at home with her family.
Hmmm, you are on a slippery slope my friend, Tweety. IF you are saying this, you are saying these spots should go to "more deserving" or "needy" people. Hmmm should this hold true for all programs of study????? I think that is unfair really.
Deb, I'm just going to repeat what I said earlier. I said "But I agree 100% there should be no screening process as who deserves the spot, someone who doesn't need to work or someone who does. The op qualified, she got in, she passed and deserves to pursue whatever direction she needs to go in."
You can't not allow people in a program based on anything other than their qualifications. I'm sorry I wasn't clear, but don't know how to say it any better.
However, I don't think we should dismiss the statement made by the person who thinks it sad the op took a spot and didn't use it as being judgemental and inappropriate. I think it was a very valid statement and I agree it is too bad someone took a spot and isn't going to use it right away.
Perhaps I'm straddling the fence by agreeing with both of you. She has every right not to use her degree now and it is indeed sad perhaps the next person in line really needed it more than her. And I don't mean that as a judgement against the original poster, if you read my first post to her that's how I feel. Be it luck or be it sacrifice more power to her for looking after her kids.
martymoose, BSN, RN
1,946 Posts
That pretty much sums things up.