My hubby and I spent the nite out of town Saturday, my 17 year old was to be picked up by his Dad for the nite. We came home this afternoon to find my entire home had been tossed, we had been robbed. Apparently my kid blew off his Dad, invited a few "friends" over and it escalated. They stole computers, cameras, jewlery, designer clothing, drank anything they could and my son stated that it got out of hand. We called the police who took prints and interviewed neighbors who heard nothing.
My son refused to provide any names to help out and the police were really kind of help. After the CSI left and we were cleaning up the mess, my son went in to take a bath. He admitted to drinking and smoking pot and expressed a lot of remorse. I told him that I loved him but that he put our family in a lot of jeopardy. Anyway, he called out to me from the bathroom. I knocked and entered. He is usually very shy but he had a knife, a pair of scissors and a pen and had written on his chest some obsenities. I took away the sharp stuff, assessed him physically and he stated he had taken a bottle of Aleve and was feeling sick. Also stated he wanted to cut himself but the knife was not sharp enough and showed me some scratches on his forearm.
I called 911 and the EMT's arrived, his BP was way up, his BS was low, less then 60, he was started on IV NS and taken to our local ER. They tried a charcoal lavage and he is at this time very lethargic and still medically unstable to be moved to a Psych hold for a 5150. It's almost midnight and I am numb. His Dad has not returned any of my calls and I am sure I will be a wreck in the morning. The ER doc was a complete jerk who treated me like I was a felon and I wanted to punch him. I love my child, he is the only kid I will ever have and I want to do what is right for him but I cannot touch this pain he is having.
What an awful experience. To have this ability at our fingertips, to touch and heal a stranger and when our family members fall apart we are helpless. I wish I could cry. I wish I could rage against someone or something. I feel bewildered and helpless. I feel sorry for this young man who's smile can brighten any dreary day, who get's my jokes, who inspires me to be the best I can be. This kid who did such an abominal act that I have no understanding of. I guess I am angry that he would waste his life, but am not sure where to place my anger. He was not medically stable enough to be transferred to a psych unit when we left but they promised to place him in an observation unit and monitor his 02 sats.
I am quite sure this post will be eliminated (go on with the projected anger Haunted) but this is my resource right now and I am reaching out to my peers in compassion. I thank you for letting me vent.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as well as your family. I hope your son's father will be supportive in his recovery efforts. Please know we are all here for you and the fam. I've worked with youth who have tried to commit suicide before and the pain they and their family goes through is heart breaking. I also had a sister who was successful in her attempt. Please listen to the councilors, if you are not comfortable with whoever they set you up with, switch until you find the right one.
Hey thanks all. He is at UCI and I am truly comfortable with the facility. He completed 3 goals today!!! We are going to see him in about an hour. Thanks again. They are going to start him on Effexor.
no, your son tried to take the pressure off of his bad judgement and poor behavior at 17 y/o, by attempting to cause harm to himself and thereby causing you to feel sorry for him and guilty for being angry at him because of the damage caused to your home. He must have felt so revealed after many years of being the proud only child. Its going to be a huge challange for you but you need to be strong and let him own up to his mistakes. He needs dicipline, love and support but most of all responsibility. With college just around the bend with all the enticements, now may be a good time to look into a private college that agrees with personal responsibilities and guidance....best wishes to your family
I'm glad he has stablized, and is working at things. You are all still in my prayers. I have been on Effexor since Sept (diagnosed with severe depression third week of school, thank God for supportive faculty), and I have had very good results. If you want to ask me questions about my experience with it, please feel free to PM me. The same for anyone else reading this.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
My first thought when I clicked on this thread was, "OMG, this could have been my son". My oldest boy is 17 as well, and he's had "issues" his whole life---depression, ADD, impulse and anger management problems, learning disabilities, and so on---but for some reason God has spared him from the worst of things.......at least so far. I think after I get done posting this, I'm going to go knock on his door and give him a HUGE hug.
I am so sorry you and your dear son are going through this, Haunted.......my prayers will be with you both for peace and healing, for self-discovery and recovery, for soundness of body and mind.:kiss
this is the worse nightmare for a parent. and other family members..do anything thing that you have to do to keep him safe...a guilt trip impress on him the horror facing you if he was successfull.
i think that the failures of the bio dad is something that plays a large part in this...a father is suppose to love a child..if you are not loved you feel that it is your fault let him know that it is NOT his fault that he is a lovable human being and that the weakness is the dads
Just to let you know, I've just prayed for you and your son and will continue to do so. Parenting teens can be a real battle. You have a long road to travel. At least you've started in the right direction to get the help he needs and was crying out for. I agree with a prior post that suggested both individual and family counseling. Surround yourself with support... family,friends, pastor and church family. And, of course, all of us. Don't forget to schedule time for yourself to unwind. Please keep us updated.
Guys, I finally (sigh) spoke with my son's Dad who picked up my voice mail today, left yesterday " Scott, your son attempted suicide and I am following the paramedics to blank blank med center, please call me back" and he had a lot of guilt and blame for me, this has been all my fault, blah blah blah.
I have worked Psych foever and never saw this coming. This kid had a secret life that would put James Bond to shame. Just an alert, found my kids blog on myspace.com in Irvine under his email addy. Guess who told me... his Dad!!!!
Knew the kid was planning a party, that he had been smoking weed for months and NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME. So an FYI, check out myspace and run your kids email addy. I found out a lot about my son.
MadRedneckRN
58 Posts
My thoughts and prayers are with you as well as your family. I hope your son's father will be supportive in his recovery efforts. Please know we are all here for you and the fam. I've worked with youth who have tried to commit suicide before and the pain they and their family goes through is heart breaking. I also had a sister who was successful in her attempt. Please listen to the councilors, if you are not comfortable with whoever they set you up with, switch until you find the right one.
I'll be praying for you
Lori