blue heron

I haven't been here for a while--I've been working nights, and trying to get my house and yard in order. Yard work is therapy for me, so this has been good. It is also therapeutic to be able to find things indorrs LOL. I've also d/c my antidepresant and increased the synthroid, as well as beginning to lose the weight gained while taking Effexor. So I'm taking care of me in the midst offf everything. Our son is certainly taking us on a roller coaster ride. His Dr. did not feel that the risperidol was effective for JN so he switched him to Zydis. This was the third week of June. He definatly slept better on the Zydis, but was almost too sedated, oveslept his alarm a couple times. JN moved into his own place July 1, and got fired about two weeks later. he has stopped taking his meds, and is back to smoking pot daily, drinking a couple times a week, and has also done cocaine and mushrooms. So I guess all we can do is stand by and watch for the next crash, as he is not willing to listen to any of us at this point. The good thing is he is staying in touch with family and his psychiatrist. Thanks again for the support and prayers, I'll post as things develop and/or we have questions.

well, after all that has, and still is, happenning in our lives, we are actually going to get away for a couple of weeks!!!!:balloons: :balloons: :balloons: It has been about four years, so we are really looking forward to the break. My question is--does anyone out there have suggestions of what to see or where to explore? Our tentative route is to drop into the US at the Emmerson bordercrossing,(south of Winnepeg, Manitoba) head for the twin cities, then possibly Kansas city, Wichita, Dodge City (KS), maybe Amarillo TX, Colorado Springs and Denver CO, then up to Hungry Horse MT, through Glacier Waterton International Peace Park, then home to Lethbridge AB. The places that are non negotiable are Winnepeg, Colorado Springs, and the stop in Montana. The rest of the trip is 'as we feel like it'. the type of stuff we like includes nature reserves, hiking, historical sites, plant tours (ie Hershy Chocolate) and of course---SHOPPING, esp fabric shopping. so anything you think is interesting in these general areas, please let me know about. Stuff off of the beaten trail is often the best, and that is the stuff I am least likely to find on my explorations of the web. Also, good motels/hotels to stay at, especially in smaller towns/cities. Thanks for any help you can give us. :Melody:

All of the above, as well as know the format your papers have to be in--AND know it! ie APA or MLA. Ours had to be all APA, and we have some profs who are REALLY sticky about the format. It is sooooo anoying to lose marks for such stupid things. Also, grammar, the same reason. On the same topic, get to know two or three other (good) students and proof read each other's papers, and study together. I cannot tell you how much this has helped me the past three years. All the best to you!!!

Thanks everyone- Daye, your message brought tears to my eyes-good tears-and yes I am trying to remember to take care of me in all this too. Mad09-pot is definatly a factor for our son, and he has finally admitted it and is addressing it. Insight is so good to see!! Thank you for sharing the info from your friend, JN has mentioned the fear experienced several times- as have patients I have worked with on Psych. the need for safety is a very significant factor in these peoples' lives, as it is for all of us. I think it is more pronounced for those suffering hallucinations and paranoia because they do not know if they can trust even their own sense of reality. I know when JN first realized he was seeing people that we did not see, he was really upset and frightened. It still worries him. As far as remembering what is said during periods of psychosis, I never doubted that people would remember- so this is interesting. Our psychiatrist did say that sometimes patients have 'false memories' of events that occured during an acute break, but I haven't read or seen anything else on this topic. I know that when dealing with our son, or patients, I speak to them as if they will remember the conversation, and always maintain dignity and respect for the individual. thanks again everyone. It is really nice to have somewhere to chat and learn.

Thanks for the links. We have both CMHC and Schizophrenia offices here in our city, and I have contacted them. Our hospital also has a support group for the families that we will be attending. I did not know about the mood disorder sites--and as I deal with SAD, that is welcome information. Tha last couple of weeks have been pretty rough- our son had a major psychotic break on the sunday after admission (pot induced) and ended up in lock up--then went AWOL on the Wed and came home. Was suffering EPS-which he did nottell the nurses about-and then is extremely sensitive to the Cogentin. SIGH. the Dr tells us that he has never seen anyone so sensitive to drugs, of any kind, and this does tend to complicate his treatment. He is settling and seems OK on 4mg of Risperidal/day, split into two doses. 5mg might be better-fewer voices etc- but he is doing well and we want to avoid side effects. I will talk with the Dr about the diabetes concern-but there has been too much else going on to deal with it right now. one thing I'm really having trouble with is figuring out what behaviours are illness induced and which ones are personality. JN was very oppositional as a teenager, and this is showing itself again now. The Dr wants him on a stress/medical leave from work for six months, and JN is determined to work-has taken a job in welding and plans to apprentice. I know developmentally, it must be SOOO hard to be a man in your mid twenties and be told not to work for a while-- yet it is just a short term--to increase his chances for long term success. I know know one has the answers, I just need to vent a bit. thanks everyone for your info and help--say 'Hi' once in a while if you have a minute--it really helps.

A quick update, as I have been having trouble with this web site letting me on. We admitted JN two nights ago. and I have been crying off and on ever since. no real sleep the first night, went to my Dr. yesterday to talk, and get something to help me sleep for a few nights, then forgot to fill the stupid rx. DUH!!!!!!!!!! Have it now, though. So I should get some rest. about the other night--I was working the 3-11, and my oldest son shows up to talk to me. He is wound so tight, I think the nurses were wondering if he needed to be admitted. So I went on break (was about to anyway), and his friend joined us. Turns out that JN has been acting quite bizzarly around these guys and their friends, that they are becoming afraid of him, and there is at least one young woman petrified of him. Won't go into details, but he is certainly a danger to others. So I phone DH at work and let him know, as well that JN. purchased drugs and was likely stoned to the max. DH called the eldest for detatils, and calls me back to figure out what we are going to do. During this call, he breaks down completely--and so do I. I was at work and was at the desk, but had my back to the unit. another nurse on shift saw me crying, and asked what was wrong. I briefly explained, and he told me to go home. So DH and I met at home, and had a chat with our extermely stoned, and delusional son. JN informs us right up front that he is moving to another city with his new friends-I ask if these are the people he bought drugs from and he says 'yes'. Can anyone say 'no judgement' and 'panic'? It was mentioned that maybe he should talk to his psychiatrist about these plans and he agrees. I told him that Dr M is at the hospital (he was on call), and would he like to go now. He agrees--so we go to ER. They insist that JN has to be seen by their Dr before they will call Dr. M, and the place was a zoo. (this was before the three ambulances arrived). JN goes out for a smoke, and who does he meet in the doorway, but Dr M. We explain that JN is here to see him, and he told us he'd be with us right after he saw someone else. And he did. He pulled JN's chart from the pile, and took him right in-he used a 'quiet room' just off ER. He talked with JN then called us in. I told him what the eldest had told me, and what JN had said at home. all of the latter pretty 'out there'. He suggested to JN that he be admitted and JN agreed. It was so much easier than we had thought, as we thought we may have to involve the police. But emotionally, it was not easy. It was and is devastating. When Dr M was out of the room doing the paper work, (DH had a call out at this point, How frustrating), JN looks at me and asks if he is going to make it through this? he thinks he will die. I cannot imagine what it is like to live inside his head right now. I explained to him that his sense of reality is not the same as the rest of us, and he looked so bewildered and said 'its not?'. and then other times he has all the answers, and can tap into special power and knowledge, and he is invincible. You know, I just want my son back, not this stranger who is trying to take over. This is just so stinking hard. I guess we just get to keep slogging on, but it is not a path I would ever have chosen, and I really would like off, but there are no exit ramps. seeing my Dr did help, and she gave me some ideas of what could be done for J, she suggested a nearby long term treatment center that has an excellent program, for extended treatment. I plan to chat with Dr M about it ASAP. Galadriel724, thanks for sharing your experience w/ your dad, as last Nov. when this first started, we believed JN too, and really thought he was in danger. Its so scary how inscidious this is. HM2Viking --About the 'MI/CD treatment?'--what is that? Would that be similar to our dual diagnoses program, or is it something different? also, thanks for the reminder about risperidol and diabetes--I had forgotten. I will follow that up. We had JN on a pass tonight at supper, and he told us he had an injection today, so I am assuming Risperidol Contra. Hopefully there is something else available in injectable, as he may be far more compliant with that method. Thanks again for the support, it is a great help.

Thanks every one. Just coming here and seeing your posts is a help right now. Wolfie, its good to hear from you, and thanks for your prayers. You always have sound suggestions, and a compassionate heart. This is a road that is not going to be easy, but will be doable. Angie, yes counselling is in the works, I had been seeing one over the winter due to severe depression last fall, so I will be re-starting that and DH is willing, too. He's having a hard time with all this as his brother died suddenly less than two years ago (DVT) and had been diagnosed w/ bipolar shortly before his death. Its been a lousy couple of years. Thrashej, there is some hx of mushrooms and he also says he tried Ectacy three times. As you never know what is in E, who knows what he had injested. The pot is definatly a trigger for him, and the psychiatrist said that pot can trigger psychosis in 10% of the population. As to how did I get him to the dr? I really took a chance and used some subturage (sp?). Our son mentioned he thought he may have developed diabetes, and I made an appointment for that, but when we arrived, I requested a psych assesment, and a refferal. (tests were run for the diabetes too) My son was not really happy with me, but when we left the drs office I brought it up. I told him that if I were in his shoes, I would be feeling betrayed and also relieved. He agreed, and we had a long talk. I told him that from now on I would be up front, but that I had been advised not to address the issue of a mental illness in a one on one situation. This was a very real risk, as his primary symptom is paranoia. But it has worked out. The fact that your brother has gone to emerg is good, but I wonder ifthe wait is discouraging? that is one reason I wanted to avoid the ER with our son, I am pretty sure he won't wait well. Can you get your brother to go to a family doctor, and start treatment via that route? I'm not sure where you live and how your health system works in these cases, but a direct admitt might be the best choice. I'm really sorry to hear of wht is happening in your family, and I'll be praying for you. Going to school while all this other is going on is both blessing and curse for me--how about for you? What year are you in and when do you graduate? I finish next April, so only one year to go. Thanks every one, your support and prayers are greatly appreciated.

thanks for the info and suggestions. Both the GP and the psychiatrist discussed admission with our son, but chose not to do so at present. They did tell him and us, under what circumstances to go to ER. He would likely be certified if that happened, and be an involuntary patient. (we live in Alberta, Canada) Today has been much better, had long talk about his need to stay off pot, comparing his reaction to pot to my reaction to phenobarb or codiene, helped him understand better. Also comparing his need for medication to the need of an asthmatic or diabetic also seemed to help. He is also struggling with his self image, and what he can and cannot do in future-ie work, school, dating, marriage. He is showing incredible insight at this point, and I hope this continues. I will check out NAMI, you are right that this is scary for all of us, and we each need support.

On Monday evening I recieved a call from our 24 year old son, who was living in a city about 6 hours drive from us, asking that I come get him now, that people were after him and wanted to kill him. He had felt threatened last Nov and in fact went missing for a week, and we feared him dead at that time. He did call that time after a week, but was convinced of danger. I began to suspect then that we were dealing with a mental illness, but with him so far away and other serious stuff in our lives, was unable to do much but try to stay in touch. As he did not have a phone, that was a challenge. I saw him a couple of times this spring when I was in that city visiting my mom in law (who is fighting cancer), and our conversations did not relieve my fears. He seemed a little delusional and I was suspecting halucinations. I just finished my third year of nursing school and was doing my psych rotation from Jan - April, so I was getting an education in more ways than one. Well Monday's phone call confirmed our fears. I made arrangements and a friend drove me up to get him. Long, all night drive. He was very frightened and agitated. Tuesday afternoon, he was really paranoid, thinking that a new neighbour near me was planted to watch me, that there was a guy at a bus stop that was one of the people from the other city (when I looked, I saw no one), that I got my new undergraduate nursing job (on psych, BTW) so 'they' could keep an eye on me, that the security gard on psych was after him, and that two nurses there were talking about him. All this in about 25min. Thursday, he agreed to go see his doctor to have a check up for diabetes, and I requested a psych assesment. The Dr was awesome, and talked to our son very matter of factly, and clearly. Our son was unwilling to accept a prescription, but did agree to stop smoking pot. The doc also sent a referal to the psychiatrist of our choice, and bless him, he called us Fri, before noon, and we were in his office at three pm. (We being, DH, son and me). He did get our son's agreement to try a medication (risperidal), explained why pot was very bad for him, and is arranging a CT scan. The family doc had ordered blood tests, and those were drawn on Thurs. There is so much I really cannot write here, but it has been an exauhsting week. I just started my job on psych and was in orientation Mon-Thurs (missed Tues and will make it up later), and part of our orientation was training videos on how to help and teach families who have a member dealing with a first psychotic episode. I did not want to be there. I wanted someone to help me, not learn to help someone else right then. and just being with our son is so tiring. This am for example, in less than four hours he went from hypo-manic to agitated to paranoid to delusional. and he had only had three hour of sleep. (Yes I know the relationship between sleep and psychosis, but he has yet to figure it out). so, besides just needing to vent, I need some resources for families of schizophenics. My hubby and I talked with our pastor tonight (yesterday, now), and he recomended we look for some info on line, but I do not know what some good ones are, and am too tired to search. He works in mental health as well, so that is really an asset now. One need is for my hubby to learn how to and how not to communicate with our son. DH is a very logical man and asks a lot of questions. This is not a logical illness, and he is at sea as to how to deal with it. I could explain it to him, but I think he would like it better from another source. and that would remove a burden from me, too. also, some resources for our son would be great. maybe BB or chat rooms?? Any help you can give will be appreciated. This is so scary, and it has already been a really difficult couple of years with two deaths in the family, the death of a friend, mom's cancer, me being diagnosed with depression last fall, now this??? I want to work in psych, and I want to learn about it, but I'm not sure this is how I would have chosen to do it. In the opinion of those more experienced than I, what reading/researching should I do or not do right now? I was planning to really concentrate on my psych textbook this summer, and work as much as possible to refine my skills in this setting, but with my family situation I don't know if that is a good idea. well, its late and I need sleep, so thanks for 'listening', and any help you can provide.

onconnurseRT, how awful for you all. As to the question of how long certain viruses can live outside the body, we were recently told in class that Hep C can live on inanimate objects for 14 days. I'm not sure about Hep A or B. HIV is only seconds outside a host. As for other diseases, I would wonder about the typical enterics? samonella, E-coli, etc. They're transmitted by the fecal-oral route, so they may or may not apply here. all I can say is this other kid is one disturbed individual, and although he may well be from an unfourtunate background, he is still responsible for his own actions, and needs to learn this real quick.

Haunted, I'm so glad your son is in such good hands. That alone will help. I read your comment about being strong, and I just wondered if you really eqate crying, and needing help from others as not being strong? I sort of doubt it, esp with your experience as a nurse and psy nurse. But I wonder if you do what I and many others do, in that what is OK for others, we don't allow ourselves. the release of crying, needing help and maybe even screaming, are all things we allow in others, but deny ourself. Just a thought, and if I'm off base, just ignore me. I had a counsellor tell me last fall that 'being in that chair is a vulnerable place, and having been there, it would help make me a better nurse'. I am now doing my psyc rotation, and she is right, I think. So I will pass this bit of wisdom on to you, and I hope it is useful. Just know I am praying for all of you in this time, {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thank you for the teaching and the links!!!!!! Awesome. ?

As a student nurse, I have seen quite a few good and not so good nurses, and I don't care if they're an LPN or RN, if they'll teach--I will learn. On one rotation, the nurse on the floor with wound care training was an LPN, so I followed her on her rounds one morn, doesn't matter to me what the letters are. A nurse in a nurse. Some of my classmates thought that I shouldn't be with 'just an LPN". HUMBUG. At a previous job as a PCA/NA, I asked one of the RNs a ? to do with bedbaths-don't remember what- and her answer was "I don't know, I've never given a bedbath", with a totally snotty attitude. I was appalled at her attitude and response. How do you become an RN w/o ever giving a bedbath? was my thought, followed by--do you really care about people? Guess what? she doesn't. The things she does would curl your hair. So to me, she really isn't a nurse, not in the true sense of the word. And my L & DR rotation was the rotation from hades. I know several of the nurses up there personally, and they are wonderful women, but there are several up there that ought not to be near breathing pts. or students. ie one day I asked an RN, whose pt I had been assigned, what my role was--as she had been cutting me out of everything and the clinical instructor was tied up in a delivery--and her reply was "Nothing, you don't HAVE a role". HMMMMM. for the pts sake, I retreated so there was no undercurrent of tension, but I was not impressed. So, I guess if a nurse is snotty, she is snotty, whether to CNAs, students, or anyone else she decides she is better than. I have decided that ALL nurses have much to teach me, some on how to be a nurse, :) :) and some on how NOT to be a nurse. :uhoh21: :uhoh21:

Haunted, I'm glad he has stablized, and is working at things. You are all still in my prayers. I have been on Effexor since Sept (diagnosed with severe depression third week of school, thank God for supportive faculty), and I have had very good results. If you want to ask me questions about my experience with it, please feel free to PM me. The same for anyone else reading this. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Dear Haunted, My heart goes out to you and your family. I am praying for all of you, that God will reach down and give you help, support and wisdom, today and in the days to come. The hardest thing of all is to see our loved ones in pain, esp emotional. {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}