My hubby and I spent the nite out of town Saturday, my 17 year old was to be picked up by his Dad for the nite. We came home this afternoon to find my entire home had been tossed, we had been robbed. Apparently my kid blew off his Dad, invited a few "friends" over and it escalated. They stole computers, cameras, jewlery, designer clothing, drank anything they could and my son stated that it got out of hand. We called the police who took prints and interviewed neighbors who heard nothing.
My son refused to provide any names to help out and the police were really kind of help. After the CSI left and we were cleaning up the mess, my son went in to take a bath. He admitted to drinking and smoking pot and expressed a lot of remorse. I told him that I loved him but that he put our family in a lot of jeopardy. Anyway, he called out to me from the bathroom. I knocked and entered. He is usually very shy but he had a knife, a pair of scissors and a pen and had written on his chest some obsenities. I took away the sharp stuff, assessed him physically and he stated he had taken a bottle of Aleve and was feeling sick. Also stated he wanted to cut himself but the knife was not sharp enough and showed me some scratches on his forearm.
I called 911 and the EMT's arrived, his BP was way up, his BS was low, less then 60, he was started on IV NS and taken to our local ER. They tried a charcoal lavage and he is at this time very lethargic and still medically unstable to be moved to a Psych hold for a 5150. It's almost midnight and I am numb. His Dad has not returned any of my calls and I am sure I will be a wreck in the morning. The ER doc was a complete jerk who treated me like I was a felon and I wanted to punch him. I love my child, he is the only kid I will ever have and I want to do what is right for him but I cannot touch this pain he is having.
What an awful experience. To have this ability at our fingertips, to touch and heal a stranger and when our family members fall apart we are helpless. I wish I could cry. I wish I could rage against someone or something. I feel bewildered and helpless. I feel sorry for this young man who's smile can brighten any dreary day, who get's my jokes, who inspires me to be the best I can be. This kid who did such an abominal act that I have no understanding of. I guess I am angry that he would waste his life, but am not sure where to place my anger. He was not medically stable enough to be transferred to a psych unit when we left but they promised to place him in an observation unit and monitor his 02 sats.
I am quite sure this post will be eliminated (go on with the projected anger Haunted) but this is my resource right now and I am reaching out to my peers in compassion. I thank you for letting me vent.
Hey thanks all. He is at UCI and I am truly comfortable with the facility. He completed 3 goals today!!! We are going to see him in about an hour. Thanks again. They are going to start him on Effexor.
Please get a full evaluation from a psychologist then a psychiatrist. the reason why i say this when my son appeared to be depressed he was put on effaxor he was actually bipolar and had been self medicating with drinking and pot. the effaxor made him very very unstable. just make sure you are dealing with plain depression. also there is a red flag so have a substance abuse evaluation done if the pdoc doesn't do this he is being negligent.
you hang in there and talk to someone also. i wouldn't agree with the social worker as long as he comes home and follows your rules, gets therapy he should be home or he will feel abandoned. you might also consider if he should be at dads now he needs much supervision by a mature parent. my son had to go to rtc because he was suicidal for months. it has taken some time for him to get over his abandonment issues but he is maturing and stable and realizes we tried all types of wrap around care to keep him home and he was a danger to himself and his siblings. i would look into the plan of care when he gets home and the level of care. with the right therapy, meds, support he should get through this listening is very important now.
I was glad that you were able to express yourself and to utilize this forum to do so. I really feel for you and your family. It sounds like you are a very strong person and you know yourself very well. I think that what you and your son are going through is very overwhelming and difficult, and you both may not feel like the pain will ever end. I think that with the support of the nurses that may care for your son will be very helpful. I hope that your son will get the special attention this sort of case needs. He needs to be working with mental health professionals who know how to approach a crisis situation like this. I have worked with many suicidal patients, almost all of which really dont want to die. They are either overwhelmed or just crying out for help. When help, comfort and support are provided, then they are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is unfortunate that the Dr had to treat you that way. It doesn't shock me though, I know there is still alot of stigma associated with mental health towards both the patients and their families. Somehow the families often get blamed for situations such as this, which in some cases is true, but certainly not all. In either case, each patient and family should be taken seriously and their concerns should be addressed fully.
Picked him up tonight. He is agitated. He is verbal. He is looking at us when we speak. He took a shower several times. It's kind of like bringing home a new puppy. Most of his room is gone thanks to the robbery but he has posted his " positive affirmations " on his walls and I am going to sleep tonight thankful that my child is alive but aware that he needs me to support him and we all have a lot of work ahead.
The hardest step for him was to open and walk thru those unit doors that had been locked to him for the past 2 weeks. He didn't know what to do!!!! The nurse told my son this was the first step in a long journey.
He was silent on the car ride home, we brought his dog who sat in companionable silence as he took in the sounds and smells of being off the unit, the lights from the street, the restaurants, people in cars engaged in conversation. I have no medications to soothe him. We are here for him in many ways. This is the evening, the moment that I dreaded and fought against since his admission. As I write this I can hear him in the background in his bathroom, whistleing and most likely enjoying the privacy that he finally has, ironically the same room he attempted his "cry for help".
I have no doubt this will be a long night and I hope and pray that he has taken the resources from the unit life with him. He had many emotional good by's from his peers and expressed some longing and missing them. It's a tough transition for us all. We are SURVIVORS or the teen age years. Uh oh, he is taking another shower....missing, no doubt one of his favorite hobbies... shaking hands with the man. Thanks for your kind comments and support. I hope and pray that this never happens to you or your children. Most of all, I hope this saga helps you all to understand how depression and suicide effects everyone it touches. We are still going thru it.
You said no meds. Was he discharged with any meds and a discharge plan? An appointment with a psychiatrist and therapist coming up soon? The reason I am asking is my son had many admits. I hope things go well. Keep a close eye out for him also. If he is going back to school soon realize school is a big stressor. If he continues to be depressed you should request for an evaluation for an IEP.
my hugs, hope and prayers go out to you. try your best to take it one step at a time. as a wise loving older woman friend told me once: do the best you can do, just do what you can do. mother-love holds up the world, and will sustain your son as well in this painful time.
He is on Effexor and Risperdol. 75mg and 1 mg respectively. Last nite we had a tough love meeting with written rules and expectations, his Dad was here and suprisingly had a lot of positive things to say. My son received an MMPI-A eval prior to going home and saw his new out patient Psychiatrist yesterday with follow up again in 2 weeks.
He is spending the nite with Dad, they are going to the gym and then dinner, hopefully they can re establish some communication. Thanks again.
I'm so very sorry, I know what it's like to be in a situation where your child is hurt and not knowing what to do or how to react. You tell me you can't cry. I say cry, scream let it all hang out and after your done going a little crazy. You'll be strong enough to handle the situation ahead. Good news is he called for your help, that means he truly did'n't want to leave you. Bad news is I don't think that the party had anything to do with his reaction. He must have been feeling down for a while after you cry, you need to be strong and show him all the love and support and understanding you can. Pray and God will see you through this. I know this for a FACT!!!!
He is on Effexor and Risperdol. 75mg and 1 mg respectively. Last nite we had a tough love meeting with written rules and expectations, his Dad was here and suprisingly had a lot of positive things to say. My son received an MMPI-A eval prior to going home and saw his new out patient Psychiatrist yesterday with follow up again in 2 weeks.
He is spending the nite with Dad, they are going to the gym and then dinner, hopefully they can re establish some communication. Thanks again.
I don't mean to prey but since my son went through alot with wrong meds and diagnosis's I am going to ask what is his diagnosis? Why is he on the risperdal if there is not any indication of bipolar or a mood disorder unless he was having hallucinations. If he has a diagnosis of bipolar effaxor or any another antidepressant could make him quite unstable as it did for my son. What did the eval show? What is his diagnosis? Also since this involved substances prior to his attempt what is being done for a substance abuse evaluation and possible treatment regarding this. I wish you well.h
wincha
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Please get a full evaluation from a psychologist then a psychiatrist. the reason why i say this when my son appeared to be depressed he was put on effaxor he was actually bipolar and had been self medicating with drinking and pot. the effaxor made him very very unstable. just make sure you are dealing with plain depression. also there is a red flag so have a substance abuse evaluation done if the pdoc doesn't do this he is being negligent.