My first young-eating experience

Published

Specializes in EC, IMU, LTAC.

The other day, I had my first and last day in newborn nursery clinical. The nurse was a real pusher, and I learned a lot because she assigned a lot of work to us. However, she was also rude and condescending. She had criticized just about everything, including my instructor, in not-so-nice tones or language. I admit that I was a bit slow in the nursery because I have never done it before and that there was a flood of babies (2 sets of twins!), and that I didn't expect a lot of coddling, but it was hell.

My clinical instructor has ordered us to meet up before, during dinner break, and after clinicals. Lateness is penalized. I did not finish all of the assigned work by the time dinner break was coming up. I explained the situation to the nurse in advance, apologized, and offered to finish when I got back. This is when she started to evolve from irate cattiness to flat out witchy.

When I got back, she put us right back to work, which was more good experience. I managed to avoid her for most of the evening as I gave babies their first baths, took vitals, and applied triple dye. Since I had spent the clinical day helping her out, I didn't get my paperwork done. I had to come back in after the clinical had ended in order to copy the charted information. She was still busy, but rules deemed that I was not allowed to do anything because my instructor had left the building. I explained this to the nurse, apologized that I could not help her with caring for the babies, but offered to fetch things for her or other things that would not break the rules. She started making comments about how I was lazy and irresponsible, both to me and any coworkers who came by.

At that moment, I realized that it was HER problem, not mine. I understand perfectly that she was overworked, stressed, and needed the help, but she crossed the line when she started talking smack about me. There was no winning this situation, no resolution, no compromise and no right action. All she wanted was to take her frustrations out on someone. Even profusely apologizing would not have worked. I ignored her as I finished my paperwork, although I would have gladly respected a request to get help her out. She eventually figured out that I was ignoring her barrage of insults, then and heard her piss and moan to a couple more coworkers about me. After I finished, I courteously thanked her and bade her a good night. I got a snort in response. Ah well, I'll probably never see her again now that OBGYN is over.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

As you recognize, this woman's crabbiness had nothing to do with you. Yes, she behaved horribly to you -- but it was not "about" you per se. All through you career (and life in general), you will encounter people who are not nice. Some will be as unpleasant and unfair as this particular nursery nurse. You were wise to recognize it as her problem and not to make it your problem, too. I think you handled the situation very well.

Try not to think of it as "eating her young" because that implies that she had something against you and was targeting you on purpose. When people use that expression, it perpetuates an image that suggests that experienced nurses are "out to get" new nurses on purpose. It gives all nurses a bad reputation we don't all deserve -- and adds to the negativity. I think it's best to simply say that you encountered someone who was unreasonable and who treated you badly.

May you meet a lot of friendly nurses in the future.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I am sorry to hear you had such a bed experience. You are right, it is her problem. One day when you are busy and the students are irritating you (this sometimes happens, they don't mean to bother you), take a breath. Stop. Remember how you felt when this woman did this to you, and smile. Offer to help or tell them nicely if you can't. This woman must have amnesia when it comes to her student days. Honestly, she sounds plain hateful. I hope the nurses you meet in your next rotation will be a bit more patient and helpful.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
As you recognize, this woman's crabbiness had nothing to do with you. Yes, she behaved horribly to you -- but it was not "about" you per se. All through you career (and life in general), you will encounter people who are not nice. Some will be as unpleasant and unfair as this particular nursery nurse. You were wise to recognize it as her problem and not to make it your problem, too. I think you handled the situation very well.

Try not to think of it as "eating her young" because that implies that she had something against you and was targeting you on purpose. When people use that expression, it perpetuates an image that suggests that experienced nurses are "out to get" new nurses on purpose. It gives all nurses a bad reputation we don't all deserve -- and adds to the negativity. I think it's best to simply say that you encountered someone who was unreasonable and who treated you badly.

May you meet a lot of friendly nurses in the future.

Excellent advice.

This woman would have the same personality regardless of the profession she had chosen. She is probably the same with her family too.

It is her problem and has nothing to do with you - as hard as it is not to personalize it - DON'T.

I too hope you meet alot of friendly nurses in the future - best wishes.

steph

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in EC, IMU, LTAC.

Thanks guys. Prior to this, the healthcare staff have been nothing but wonderful. I have sworn that when I am a nurse, I will return the favor to the future generations of nursing students.

Yeah, I've learned that when dealing with toxic people in the workplace, all you can do is offer what you can, don't take it personally, be professional and courteous, assert yourself, and above all, know when to keep your mouth shut. I'm lucky that I was in no way obligated to stick around her, and that I'll never see her again

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Although I agree that it was her and not you, I think you should discuss this with your clinical instructor. The nurse had no right to belittle you the way she did, and it should not be tolerated.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Although I agree that it was her and not you, I think you should discuss this with your clinical instructor. The nurse had no right to belittle you the way she did, and it should not be tolerated.

Tread lightly. The nurse could be good buds with the Instructor and c/o about her could backfire.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in SRNA.

The OP stated the nurse criticized her instructor also, so I doubt they're BFF.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg.

Excellent advice from llg above. I agree it's not a good idea to advertise this as "nurses eating their young". This was one nurse and her bad attitude.

One thing you said "There was no winning this situation, no resolution, no compromise and no right action." Might not be true. By keeping quite and being polite you gave her permission to do this to the next guy. Probably the guy before you thought the same thing. While nothing would have come of it, it would have been nice for you to nip in the bud and confront her in a professional manner. Reporting her to the instructor more than likely wouldn't have helped. You're going to encourter people like this in the world, we need to learn to deal with them without feeling so helpless. You still could have been nice, polite and professional in telling her to stop talking smack about you.

Good luck in school.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Lie detection.

one thing you said "there was no winning this situation, no resolution, no compromise and no right action." might not be true. by keeping quite and being polite you gave her permission to do this to the next guy. probably the guy before you thought the same thing. while nothing would have come of it, it would have been nice for you to nip in the bud and confront her in a professional manner.

.

i agree with tweety. there are so many posts/complaints where people say nothing back to the person being nasty to them. speak up for yourself!! it can be done in a courteous and professional manner and still get your point across that you will not be treated like crap!

[color=#483d8b]

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This was one nurse and her bad attitude.

I agree with that. One clinical I had a nurse who made me feel like I was just in the way. And it was obvious she didn't care to involve a student. I was very taken aback by her attitude. Next clinical, same site, I had a wonderful nurse who offered me every oppurtunity available. They had both graduated from the program I am in now. You just have to remember people are people nurses or not. Your gonna come across attitude no matter what field you are in.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
Excellent advice from llg above. I agree it's not a good idea to advertise this as "nurses eating their young". This was one nurse and her bad attitude.

One thing you said "There was no winning this situation, no resolution, no compromise and no right action." Might not be true. By keeping quite and being polite you gave her permission to do this to the next guy. Probably the guy before you thought the same thing. While nothing would have come of it, it would have been nice for you to nip in the bud and confront her in a professional manner. Reporting her to the instructor more than likely wouldn't have helped. You're going to encourter people like this in the world, we need to learn to deal with them without feeling so helpless. You still could have been nice, polite and professional in telling her to stop talking smack about you.

Good luck in school.

Good point, Tweety -- and I regret not thinking of that myself. I am currently working on an educational program to help nurses respond to bullies in a productive way. Perhaps in the future, I'll have a list of handy suggestions to offer people who need help standing up for themselves.

It's funny, but it's not been a big problem for me in my career. People have told me it's because I project the image of being someone who can "take care of myself" and who won't let herself be pushed around. I'm not sure exactly what I do to project that image, but it seems to work. :wink2: I worry more about the opposite problem -- that people will be too intimidated by me to tell me if they disagree with me and that I will lose the benefit of their honest insights. I work hard to try to appear more approachable so that people will feel comfortable disagreeing with me.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion