My daughter is quitting nursing school!

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

A part of "doing what she enjoys" is "paying for it". If she were my daughter, I'd eventually get tired of funding her education while she coyly vacillates between career choices. In fact, I'd have quit paying after the teaching gig fell through.

[Poi Dog]

I, personally, have discovered that I place more value on something if I pay for it myself *shrugs*

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

It is her life. I only make a FEW dollars more than she does as a nurse!!!!!!!!!!! MARGINAL LIVING? ha! What do new grad nurses make in her area?

...I make less than her as an RN. Well I did until I got my BSN and the difference is like $2. So I guess even as a nurse I am marginally living.

[beewink]

I say good for her for recognizing it now and going back to what she truly likes. Money isn't everything...

[caliotter3]

Perhaps if she pays for it herself, she will be more discriminating in her choice.

[GonRidin]

I know a lot of people in here are considering her an adult, and saying she should make her own choices, but I can't consider her an adult. She's getting help from her parents, and she's changing her mind every year, she needs some guidance. In my opinion (and I could be wrong here, after all, I don't know her), she's giving up because it's too hard and stressful trying to get through the program. She's taking the easy way out. It's much easier to go back to what she was doing before than it is to finish up and start at the lowest rung of the ladder.

If you want to look at the financial aspect, finishing up is not a waste of money, its a diploma, something she can use in the future, it'll be there for her, another option. Giving up now will be a complete waste of time and money. That year of tuition? Worthless!

From what I can see this girl hasn't been responsible for much in life so far. It's time she gets a dose of reality and finishes what she started.

If it were me I would say, "You want to quit? You better pay me back every bit of tuition before you make that decision." It's time to grow up, she needs to finish what she started and then she can move on to do whatever she wants.

[hecallsmeDuchess]

She's making exactly the same amount I'm making as a nurse, with a BSN. If being a PT aide gives her fulfillment, then she should go for it. If I were paying her tuition though, I'd gently persuade her to try and finish, just let her know that you want her to succeed.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

"i really don't think that nursing holds much in the way of dramatically better salaries for most nurses. chances are she won't experience any sort of demand for her skills. sure she will make more than $20, maybe as a new nurse. in my area it's $24-$27 usually. other areas it's in the upper teens. but your husband needs to know it's not going to shoot up to the rafters. nurses are a dime a dozen."

speak for yourself. not all of us are a dime a dozen! i get considerably more than that, by a factor of >5. i couldn't do what i do without a nursing education and degree.

that said, though, i think it's futile for a father to rage against the daughter's choice. how would he like it if his father chose his college major? look at it this way: if she changes her mind when she's an adult, then she will have to pay for her education.

[GonRidin]

"i really don't think that nursing holds much in the way of dramatically better salaries for most nurses. chances are she won't experience any sort of demand for her skills. sure she will make more than $20, maybe as a new nurse. in my area it's $24-$27 usually. other areas it's in the upper teens. but your husband needs to know it's not going to shoot up to the rafters. nurses are a dime a dozen."

speak for yourself. not all of us are a dime a dozen! i get considerably more than that, by a factor of >5. i couldn't do what i do without a nursing education and degree.

that said, though, i think it's futile for a father to rage against the daughter's choice. how would he like it if his father chose his college major? look at it this way: if she changes her mind when she's an adult, then she will have to pay for her education.

that wouldn't be the same at all.... she choose the career, and wants to give up cause it got too hard. life is hard, she's gotta learn that at some point.

[inshallamiami]

***update***

Well she came to visit for a few days and we talked and talked...... She will go back to working full time as a pt aide, she is assuming responsibility for her own life and will decide where she wants to go with her life. She is gathering input from us, her friends, her professional relationships at work, and from her school. She is smart, brave, and I am confident she will make the best decision.

Oh, and we won't fork over any more dough, which she seems happy about, accepting money was making her feel like crap, she would rather make it herself as she had been since graduating college until starting nursing school

However, my husband is falling apart. He's depressed, has "given" up, and OUR future, after 33 years of marriage, seems dead end. He says he doesn't have any more adventures left in him. I'm hoping he gets over it but it's sad.

And p.s. I didn't mean to offend anyone with the marginal living comment that my husband said, I think he is just REALLY anxious about our current economy and would like our daughter to make enough to save. And where she lives ( big city in northeast) 20. Is not a lot, r/t cost of living)

[jlpsu]

I think you've done the right thing here. You've supported her, but let her make her own way. In the long run, this will work best for her AND for you and your husband.

You know...my mother was a nurse, and when I went to college she told me the same thing as another poster said..."If you go into nursing, we aren't paying for college!" Now, i think it was tongue in cheek when my mother said it - but I took it to heart and got a different degree in speech therapy. Yes...speech therapy...the same degree I hear people all over AN telling people to go into (that, or OT, PT, anything other than nursing!). I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either....it just wasn't for me. So, years later - with kids, I decided to go back to school. Again, my mother said "don't go into nursing!" even though that's what I've always wanted to do. So, loving my mother as I do - I chose yet another degree (computer science) which I loved, but eventually had to quit to stay at home with a medically needy child. Now, I've been out of it too long to go back because I don't know the technology and have no inclination to learn it so that I can work 80+ hours a week while they outsource 1 out of 3 jobs.

Now..here I am, at 39 years old - and I am going to nursing school. My mother is finally on board because she can see that I've wanted to do this for 20 years. But this time, I was doing it whether she agreed or not. It took a little growing up to decide to do what I wanted to do.

My point is, sometimes kids just have to find their own way. Pushing them one way or the other might work in the short term...but eventually, they will grow up and decide what is the right life for them. My life has been great and I have 4 beautiful kids, but I wish I was 20 years into my nursing career rather than just starting it. You don't want her to get a nursing degree because you want her to (the opposite of my experience by the way!) only to hear her tell you 20 years from now that she didn't follow her heart because of the way you pushed her. My mother feels badly now that she told me that all those years ago - I think she would rather have told me the pitfalls (she has!) and then let me make up my own mind.

So, kudos to you for letting your daughter do just that. :)

Best of luck to you all....

[inshallamiami]

Just a general thank you to all who responded. The responses are all amazing and have been truly helpful. You guys are all the BEST of what nursing has to offer. Thank you from my heart.

Sue.