My daughter is quitting nursing school!

Nurses General Nursing

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My daughter just finished her first year of nursing school, called us up extremely upset that she hates it and wants to quit. I'm basically ok with it but my husband is freaking out.

Some background; I'm a nurse and our daughter, since graduating college, has been a teacher, a paralegal, and a Physical therapy aide (which she LOVED) She has always worked, we helped her out with her BA and with nursing school.

so now she hates it, school, her externship, everything, and wants to go back to being a PT aide , with some administrative duties, for $20 an hour :uhoh3: Maybe since I'm a nurse I understand, and feel she should do what she loves.My husband feels she is making a big mistake and will be left making a marginal living.

We have always been close, there's lots of love, but emotions are running high.

Any advice, for me in the middle?

Yeah, OP, but maybe you had great success in nursing and he thinks there is a shortage, etc. Chances are your daughter might not get a job for years as a new grad. Your husband needs some edu on that issue.

I will say this. I think she might not feel that nursing is difficult, but, that she has seen how nurses are treated and rightly is all Wiskey Tang Foxtrot about that. I have what I call extreme issues with that aspect as a second degree nurse, and especially since I have worked my previous degree for many, many years. I will never get used to the undervalued aspect. I have never felt "that" in my previous career or even while in college for the first time or even when I was working as a teen!.

This is how our daughter feels.

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Funnyyou should say that..... We live a a sailboat and nursing allows us to take off for cruising to other countries, areas for months at a time.

See, OP that's just what I've been suggesting. Nursing has most likely been good to you. You and hubby know a different sequence and time in nursing. Your daughter will *probably* not experience this as you have. So the expectations of nursing as a career can be dramatically different nowadays.

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How do you see that working, from a practical standpoint - you really think you have that much control over the life of an adult child who doesn't live with you?

Interesting that people think they could actually force their adult child to do something they don't want to do.

Actually I agree with you. I want to offer my daughter sage advice, but in retrospect, it's my husband That I seem to be worried about. I'm trying to reassure HIM!

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Dad's always want their 'little' big girls to be provided for. They want them to have the best opportunities; the best life possible.

He needs to be reassured, which is often difficult for men.

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Dad's always want their 'little' big girls to be provided for. They want them to have the best opportunities; the best life possible.

He needs to be reassured, which is often difficult for men.

Sigh...that is EXACTLY it.

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If you don't mind, Ill throw my two cents in; not because of a differing opinion, but from a perspective of experience. My daughter started working as a dental assistant through her healthcare classes in high school (one year CNA, one year dental Asst.) She is a very bright, ambitious young woman and very quickly displayed a tremendous aptitude for dentistry. Everyone she worked with told her she was "wasting her time" and pushed for her to pursue her DDS, or at least obtain certification as a hygienist. When I asked her opinion, she felt it was too long in school (for DDS), and as a hygienist she felt she would be trapped doing the same thing every day (as opposed to the multitude of tasks that she performed as an asst.) I was afraid she was selling herself short; but I supported her decision because she was happy and contented. Fast forward five years (yes there is a point; I'm not just rambling:) She has a multitude of continuing education certifications, and she is now the office manager of the dental practice; between salary and bonuses, she makes considerably more than a hygienist and she is still incredibly happy and satisfied with her career. I completely understand both of your positions in this situation; but we have no crystal ball to see the future. If your daughter is like mine, let her make her own decisions, and try to have faith that it is the right thing for her at this time. I hope this helps (assuming you're not asleep from reading all this :)

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Specializes in ICU.

I am an RN and in my area, I don't make much more than your daughter does as a PT aide. Most of the PT aids in my area make as much, and sometimes more, than RN's. Some years back, they started at $42,000 per year. If you and/or your husband want her to have a job making big bucks, nursing is not it! We don't have unions in nursing here in Alabama, and no job security. On another note, I keep reading that paralegal is big right now, with salaries of $70,000 and up; I wonder if that is true? Actually I took a pay cut for the job I have now; but it is much less stressful and I get off work on time, whereas I used to have to stay 2 hrs later just to chart.

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Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.
I am an RN and in my area, I don't make much more than your daughter does as a PT aide. Most of the PT aids in my area make as much, and sometimes more, than RN's. Some years back, they started at $42,000 per year. If you and/or your husband want her to have a job making big bucks, nursing is not it! We don't have unions in nursing here in Alabama, and no job security. On another note, I keep reading that paralegal is big right now, with salaries of $70,000 and up; I wonder if that is true? Actually I took a pay cut for the job I have now; but it is much less stressful and I get off work on time, whereas I used to have to stay 2 hrs later just to chart.

I agree. Money is not worth the stress. I have been working in a hospital for 2 years and 4 months. I am late everyday and the stress level to not get OT is crazy. What type of position do you have now?

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Specializes in LTC.

Kudos to you baldnurse!! If I had known what I knew now, I don't think I would have shelled out for an accelerated BSN degree only to be miserable working as a LTC (only thing I could get)nurse now . I've developed a thick skin over the 8 months that I've been working here but I've never felt so disrespected on a daily basis for a $ in all of my 28 years on this planet.

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Yeah, OP, but maybe you had great success in nursing and he thinks there is a shortage, etc. Chances are your daughter might not get a job for years as a new grad. Your husband needs some edu on that issue.

I will say this. I think she might not feel that nursing is difficult, but, that she has seen how nurses are treated and rightly is all Wiskey Tang Foxtrot about that. I have what I call extreme issues with that aspect as a second degree nurse, and especially since I have worked my previous degree for many, many years. I will never get used to the undervalued aspect. I have never felt "that" in my previous career or even while in college for the first time or even when I was working as a teen!.

I haven't found a job yet and I graduated at the end of April...Plus yeah she has one more year, but that is also one more year of nursing school tuition that she most likely wont even use...

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I'm with the dad on this one. And here's my reasoning: Why did she give up the PT Asst job and president nursing to begin with? Sounds like she has had a pretty easy go at life so far. She's been getting a free education, she's had the ability to switch careers several times, everything has been fairly easy. Maybe nursing school is more difficult than she anticipated. Maybe leaving school is just an easy way out. To get to a comfortable position in any field with a decent salary is going to be a lot of work, will make you want to give up, and will take time. She's one year in, is that really enough to determine if that it's definitely not for her? I'd tell her to suck it up, finish school, and go out there and give it a shot. It might end up being the best decision she ever made, and if not she can fall back on the PT thing. It can only help her future. It's one more year. Tough it out. Nothing good comes easy.

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I'm with the dad on this one. And here's my reasoning: Why did she give up the PT Asst job and president nursing to begin with? Sounds like she has had a pretty easy go at life so far. She's been getting a free education, she's had the ability to switch careers several times, everything has been fairly easy. Maybe nursing school is more difficult than she anticipated. Maybe leaving school is just an easy way out. To get to a comfortable position in any field with a decent salary is going to be a lot of work, will make you want to give up, and will take time. She's one year in, is that really enough to determine if that it's definitely not for her? I'd tell her to suck it up, finish school, and go out there and give it a shot. It might end up being the best decision she ever made, and if not she can fall back on the PT thing. It can only help her future. It's one more year. Tough it out. Nothing good comes easy.

If your daughter is over 18, then she must be making her OWN decisions. I would never force anyone to finish anything they didn't want to. My son at 18 years old went to a small college (part of tOSU) for landscaping. He hated it. He lasted three quarters. He is now a successful, union Operating Engineer (operates a huge crane!), has a wonderful wife and an adorable son! He LOVES his job! His wife does not have to work and they just bought a new house in a desireable location. My ex, who was my husband at the time, went ballistic when he quit. Never thought our son would ever amount to anything without a college degree. We all have to do our own "thing". I also agree with other posters that I wouldn't pay for any more schooling. That's on her now. She has to be a big girl now. You owe that to her.:nurse: :twocents:

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