My daughter is quitting nursing school!

[inshallamiami]

My daughter just finished her first year of nursing school, called us up extremely upset that she hates it and wants to quit. I'm basically ok with it but my husband is freaking out.

Some background; I'm a nurse and our daughter, since graduating college, has been a teacher, a paralegal, and a Physical therapy aide (which she LOVED) She has always worked, we helped her out with her BA and with nursing school.

so now she hates it, school, her externship, everything, and wants to go back to being a PT aide , with some administrative duties, for $20 an hour Maybe since I'm a nurse I understand, and feel she should do what she loves.My husband feels she is making a big mistake and will be left making a marginal living.

We have always been close, there's lots of love, but emotions are running high.

Any advice, for me in the middle?

[kids]

That wouldn't be the same at all.... She choose the career, and wants to give up cause it got too hard. Life is hard, she's gotta learn that at some point.

You think she wants to give up because it's gotten too hard. Maybe she wants to quit because she's realized she just doesn't like nursing.

Making what she feels is the right decision for her future rather than continuing on to make mom & dad happy is a sign of maturity. Choosing to quit school, even though your parents will be disappointed is a far more adult choice than allowing them to continue to pay for training in a field she doesn't enjoy and has no plans to work in. Choosing to not accrue more debt to secure an education in a profession you you don't plan to use, just to make mom and dad happy is a more responsible choice.

Ever parent has dreams and aspirations for their child but there comes a point where you have to accept that your child doesn't share those dreams or have the same goals. I've raised 3 kids to 30-ish. They've made plenty of decisions where I would have chose differently for them but in the end what matters is that they are satisfied with their choices and proud of their accomplishments. What matters is that they are happy with the life they have chosen rather than doing what they thought would meet my approval.

[cebollita]

Interesting that people think they could actually force their adult child to do something they don't want to do.

You'd be surprised how many of them can!

[rn/writer, RN]

***update***

well she came to visit for a few days and we talked and talked...... she will go back to working full time as a pt aide, she is assuming responsibility for her own life and will decide where she wants to go with her life. she is gathering input from us, her friends, her professional relationships at work, and from her school. she is smart, brave, and i am confident she will make the best decision.

oh, and we won't fork over any more dough, which she seems happy about, accepting money was making her feel like crap, she would rather make it herself as she had been since graduating college until starting nursing school

this says a lot about her integrity.

however, my husband is falling apart. he's depressed, has "given" up, and our future, after 33 years of marriage, seems dead end. he says he doesn't have any more adventures left in him. i'm hoping he gets over it but it's sad.

let's see--you are happy. your daughter is happy. but your husband is falling apart? was he hoping she'd become a well-off nurse and you could move in with her?

sounds like you guys could use some counseling. do you have an employee assistance program? they usually help with family members as well as employees themselves.

and p.s. i didn't mean to offend anyone with the marginal living comment that my husband said, i think he is just really anxious about our current economy and would like our daughter to make enough to save. and where she lives ( big city in northeast) 20. is not a lot, r/t cost of living)

thanks for the update. you raised your daughter well. hope things work out with you and your dh. he sounds depressed.

[nola1202]

Make a decision to not be in the middle. Let your daughter fight her own battles.

Let your husband talk and don't try to fix it, or explain, just be there for both of them.

[inshallamiami]

You think she wants to give up because it's gotten too hard. Maybe she wants to quit because she's realized she just doesn't like nursing.

Making what she feels is the right decision for her future rather than continuing on to make mom & dad happy is a sign of maturity. Choosing to quit school, even though your parents will be disappointed is a far more adult choice than allowing them to continue to pay for training in a field she doesn't enjoy and has no plans to work in. Choosing to not accrue more debt to secure an education in a profession you you don't plan to use, just to make mom and dad happy is a more responsible choice.

Ever parent has dreams and aspirations for their child but there comes a point where you have to accept that your child doesn't share those dreams or have the same goals. I've raised 3 kids to 30-ish. They've made plenty of decisions where I would have chose differently for them but in the end what matters is that they are satisfied with their choices and proud of their accomplishments. What matters is that they are happy with the life they have chosen rather than doing what they thought would meet my approval.

I don't think it was "because it's gotten too hard", that was just a possible explanation offered. I actually agree with you wholeheartedly! But I needed to work it thru, and appreciated the help of all nurses!

[inshallamiami]

Rn/writer. Yes dh does suffer from depression, he goes into these deep Irish dark holes, and then works himself out. he's tried therapy on and off but actually has been getting better. We truly have a great life, we live on our sailboat, taking off a year or six months every so often to go cruising to sandy places:) then come back to work.

And no, he doesn't want her to support us, he just doesn't want to worry about her (like as a parent THAT is going to happen!)