Ok class, if someone at work offers you a piece of the apple pie they brought, what is the best response if you don't want any?
a) *sneer* Oh, I can't stand apple pie, yuck!
b) *smile* No thank you.
The answer is B. A simple no thank you is the courteous way to refuse an offer of food.
I'm hoping that others here can politely offer some etiquette tips to help uplift our fellow nurses and improve our profession. I find that boorish behavior is far too prevalent amongst nurses, and in society as a whole
I know that I, personally, hate being called Mrs. Poppycat. However, when I first meet someone younger than I am, I think it's appropriate for them to address me that way until I tell them it's ok to call me by my first name. It's just a matter of simple respect.
I would never have dreamed of calling my professors anything other than Dr. or Mrs., depending on their status. Yet in my school, everyone is on a first name basis. I don't maintain a huge formal distance, I use my own health history to illustrate a lot of stuff, even been told I'm a little too personal. Now that quite of few of my former students are now colleagues..... first names are fine.
I grew up calling everyone Mr. or Mrs., and my adult children still refer to people in our small church by Mr/Mrs. In hospital, I usually just start off with "what do you want me to call you?", younger nurses just start off with first names.
My waitress at lunch the other day called everyone at the table "sweetheart". Ah no, I'm not your sweetheart, I've never seen you before!
My waitress at lunch the other day called everyone at the table "sweetheart". Ah no, I'm not your sweetheart, I've never seen you before!
One day when I was younger, my grandmother took me out to breakfast and the waitress called her "honey" and she got all mad. She told me she hated when people called her that, and since then I have developed a hatred for it myself. Anyone other than my actual honey or my mom/elders in my family cannot call me honey without causing me some anger. That, or sweetie, or anything similar. I'm not sure if it is because of the experience with my grandmother, or because often I don't like the connotation associated with it. A lot of times it seems to go "Oh, hon, you're doing this wrong" or something, where the term of endearment is trying to counteract the criticism, and it just makes it worse for me haha.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
I'm 65. When I was doing PDN at an LTC, even though I was on a long-term case and had been there over a year AND was wearing my company's name tag with my first name in capital letters, there were two young (19-21) CNA's who only ever referred to me by calling me "Sweetie".......if I put on the call-light, which was SELDOM, they would knock loud once and breeze into the room and look at me and say, "What can I do for you, Sweetie?"
Made me feel like I was the patient! It is 'handy' for them, maybe, but it is kind of like having your personal self erased. I never refer to a patient that way for that very reason. Acknowledging a person by their name (whichever name they preferred to be addressed by) is only polite. I would've rather they (CNA's OR wait-persons) leave off the cute nicknames altogether. But this is The South. (sigh) And so it is endemic.
But that gives a point of how people would like to be addressed; some people do believe Sir and Ma'am are relegated to older adults, that doesn't mean they wouldn't prefer to be addressed respectfully; they prefer Mr., Miss, Ms. or Mrs., just a thought.
I don't mind them wanting to be called something else, it's the snarky, "you dumb Southerner" tone I don't like. A simple "please call me Mister Patient" would be enough.
So, 'scripting' is like what the drive-thru fast-food personnel have to say: 'My name is _____, and it will be my pleasure to serve you today/night.' And they HAVE TO say it to EVERYONE, even though the exchange lasts less than a minute, when they hand you your change and a bag of food and a drink.That such an activity should induce 'pleasure' is boggling! Especially when you KNOW that such a job can be potentially mind-numbing in its repetitiveness!
The 'inventors' of this insipid way to communicate must think the public are a bunch of morons. People don't talk like that if left to their own devices! And if enough nurses are expressing their 'DELIGHT! over and over, that in itself is suspiciously insincere.
Don't blame anyone for being p-o'd at having to engage in robot-speak!
Add that to a small unit or small facility where you begin to "know" some of the regular patients that you have, and it seems as if their impression is that we have just about lost our minds....
.....my grandmothers were victorian and well educated and rich .......
Ok, with tongue in cheek I really have to ask: your grandmothers were around in the early-to-mid 1800's? You, then, are much older than I thought!!
As for the idea that "well-educated and rich" should mean they demonstrate good manners, I can only point to the countless many who are simply over-indulged and with an overly developed sense of entitlement and self worth. Sad, really.....the very thing they look down on 'lower classes' for makes THEM seem, well.....classless!
I don't mind them wanting to be called something else, it's the snarky, "you dumb Southerner" tone I don't like. A simple "please call me Mister Patient" would be enough.
I suppose, then, addressing you as "hey, REDneck!" would be a bit over the top? :)
I recently had someone say to me (about someone else) "he's from NY, what can you expect?" Ummm....clearly more courtesy than you're showing ME (who happens to hail from...yes....NY.).
I moved to the South recently. I was a little taken aback the first time a little old lady called me "baby", but now that I know it's just a regional/cultural thing, I just chuckle. Hey, if you think my thirty-something year old self looks young enough to be called baby, I don't mind! I've been called worse.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
I moved to the South recently. I was a little taken aback the first time a little old lady called me "baby", but now that I know it's just a regional/cultural thing, I just chuckle. Hey, if you think my thirty-something year old self looks young enough to be called baby, I don't mind! I've been called worse.
It's not so awful once you get used to it, but I can't stand it when the 20 y.o's call me 'Baby-girl'. It's just a bit much! That borders on disrespect when there is no friendship or affection between us. Reckon, though, it's better than being called....... other things!
poppycat, ADN, BSN
856 Posts
I know that I, personally, hate being called Mrs. Poppycat. However, when I first meet someone younger than I am, I think it's appropriate for them to address me that way until I tell them it's ok to call me by my first name. It's just a matter of simple respect.