Ok class, if someone at work offers you a piece of the apple pie they brought, what is the best response if you don't want any?
a) *sneer* Oh, I can't stand apple pie, yuck!
b) *smile* No thank you.
The answer is B. A simple no thank you is the courteous way to refuse an offer of food.
I'm hoping that others here can politely offer some etiquette tips to help uplift our fellow nurses and improve our profession. I find that boorish behavior is far too prevalent amongst nurses, and in society as a whole
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
My manners tip: it is never anyone's business to comment on another's food choice. Please don't tell me how awful GMOs are if I'm eating microwave popcorn. Please don't tell me how much better you feel eating raw/paleo/plant based/vegan. Please (specific to me personally) don't tell me I shouldn't eat something because I'm diabetic, unless someone spiked my donut with drano, my food choices only become your business if you are my dietician or my endocrinologist, otherwise you really don't know why I'm eating it, or if treats are included in my treatment plan, or if I just took my insulin because I wanted a donut.
In acute care, in some facilities, they have scripts of how to and what to communicate to patients so that they are "delighted" with the care they receive as opposed to the alternatives.
It is a customer service oriented program, meant to raise patient satisfaction scores. Stuff like "I endevour for you to be DELIGHTED with your care" "Can I do anything else for you, I HAVE THE TIME" and "managing up" the nurse who is taking over for you--"this is Xyz, RN, BSN, 952 certifications. I have worked with Nurse Xyz for 2 years and we both want you to be DELIGHTED....and I am leaving you in good hands!! Thank you so much for allowing me to care for you today! So is there anything else I can do for you? I have the time!!" For the new grad "This is nurse Pdq. whom I have just started working with. Nurse Pdq graduated with a BSN from(
With lots of little ditties on acknowledging, informing, detailing, apologizing...you name it, and there's a pc script on how you are to say it. And a fun little acronym card for you to attach to your badge holder! This is awesome! Fun! We are informed!
Sigh. Forget evidence based practice. Replace those lessons with customer service and improv classes. Because seemingly that is what one needs to be a successful nurse today. Management prefers nurses who don't communicate well or necessarily have manners--just the illusion that they do. That way it is easier for them to follow the script, use key words....
And COB's who may have a learning curve with computer checkboxes, actually want to communicate care to a patient that may not be something that the patient wants to hear--"no, Mrs. HTN I can not go and get you extra salt for your meal. And here's why......." is met with "my food was gross and got cold as Nurse Abc chose to lecture me as opposed to let me eat...." and the NURSE would be called to the carpet for this. As this would make satisfaction scores go down. Which is are more highly regarded than a nurse's skill, commitment, or expertise...or manners.
Sigh.
Reason # 256 why I love being a corrections nurse...no darn satisfaction score cards! Almost as good as # 26 NO CALL LIGHTS!!!
I have been a nurse for a while and in several countries and in several settings. I have found that Americans are usually very accepting of a "No thank you". People do not eat or drink various things for many reasons and the person that questions the refusal is the person who lacks manners. No means no and why should I explain? When people question my refusal of anything, I just say it gives me explosive diarrhea and that I sometimes can't even make it to the toilet... No further explanation needed, LOL
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Jadelpn--
So, 'scripting' is like what the drive-thru fast-food personnel have to say: 'My name is _____, and it will be my pleasure to serve you today/night.' And they HAVE TO say it to EVERYONE, even though the exchange lasts less than a minute, when they hand you your change and a bag of food and a drink.That such an activity should induce 'pleasure' is boggling! Especially when you KNOW that such a job can be potentially mind-numbing in its repetitiveness!
The 'inventors' of this insipid way to communicate must think the public are a bunch of morons. People don't talk like that if left to their own devices! And if enough nurses are expressing their 'DELIGHT! over and over, that in itself is suspiciously insincere.
Don't blame anyone for being p-o'd at having to engage in robot-speak!
Now I feel just awful, you just reminded me of a time when a really sweet physician (hailing from Scotland) I used to work with, brought us all a giant serving of Haggis
(made by him with all the ingredients from the original recipe) and I don't think I
quite managed to hide my look of revulsion in time...
But I agree, a simple no thank you is the polite option
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Us Scots are pretty much aware of how unappealing Haggis is and I think serve it for the shock value. That being said a tiny bite wouldn't be so bad. You might even find out it's not so terrible! Or maybe not! :***:
My manners tip: it is never anyone's business to comment on another's food choice. Please don't tell me how awful GMOs are if I'm eating microwave popcorn. Please don't tell me how much better you feel eating raw/paleo/plant based/vegan. Please (specific to me personally) don't tell me I shouldn't eat something because I'm diabetic, unless someone spiked my donut with drano, my food choices only become your business if you are my dietician or my endocrinologist, otherwise you really don't know why I'm eating it, or if treats are included in my treatment plan, or if I just took my insulin because I wanted a donut.
It's downright rude. :/
I will acknowledge that being the wife of a diabetic who pays no attention to his food choices and has had to start insulin after many many chances to nip this in the bud by better food choices and maybe some exercise . . . . I find it very hard not to comment on the candy wrappers or donut boxes in his pickup or the big bowl of ice cream after dinner or the maple bar I found in his lunch box the other night. But after 10 years of this . . . . . . . I've just stopped. However, I will increase his life insurance. And I don't make these comments to co-workers or people at the next table in a restaurant.
Ugh I've been veg 15 years and I can't stand sanctimonious vegetarians/vegans. Most people don't even know I am veg because I don't really talk about it. It's a personal choice. The Paleo trend is really annoying. Many of them are proselytizers!
Oh yes, the anti-GMO or anti-gluten crowd are irritating as well.
Regarding the apple pie . . . I love apple pie but would have said no thank you, very politely. I might have said "It looks delicious though!".
I think manners in general have deteriorated but . . .. . in my small town I can't think of anyone right now who would meet the criteria of being rude.
Here the same thing with my hubby - total silence - and while waiting for a response I can almost hear the second hand on a clock "tick tick tick".
Argh!
I am not alone! Sometimes I feel like I am talking to a volleyball named Wilson from the movie Cast Away. "Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on."
I had to chuckle to myself a bit ago as someone came by my office with chocolate macaroon cookies made by a physician's wife after I said "They look really good but no thanks. I'm dieting".
She said "One isn't going to kill you".
I smiled and said "No, but I still don't want one but thanks anyway".
I was raised in the South and was taught "please, thank you, Sir, and Ma'am." You would be surprised how many people are offended when I show them respect.
"Don't call me ma'am, do I look like your mother?" "Don't call me Sir, I'm not your father."
Ooooooookay. I will give you all the respect you deserve from this point on.
I was raised in the South and was taught "please, thank you, Sir, and Ma'am." You would be surprised how many people are offended when I show them respect.
"Don't call me ma'am, do I look like your mother?" "Don't call me Sir, I'm not your father."
Ooooooookay. I will give you all the respect you deserve from this point on.
But that gives a point of how people would like to be addressed; some people do believe Sir and Ma'am are relegated to older adults, that doesn't mean they wouldn't prefer to be addressed respectfully; they prefer Mr., Miss, Ms. or Mrs., just a thought.
the ingredients from the original recipe) and I don't think I 
I will acknowledge that being the wife of a diabetic who pays no attention to his food choices and has had to start insulin after many many chances to nip this in the bud by better food choices and maybe some exercise . . . . I find it very hard not to comment on the candy wrappers or donut boxes in his pickup or the big bowl of ice cream after dinner or the maple bar I found in his lunch box the other night. But after 10 years of this . . .
. . . . I've just stopped. However, I will increase his life insurance. And I don't make these comments to co-workers or people at the next table in a restaurant. 
VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN
22 Articles; 9,996 Posts
THIS.