Male Foley...Wife Watching!!

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Mar 31, 2009

Reverse the situation... the wife is giving birth with a male Dr. caring for her and the husband is right there. No one even thinks anything about this. Just remember, you are a professional doing a professional service - no biggie.

NeosynephRN · Mar 31, 2009

Well since I have seen my husbands "stuff" a million and one times it would probably not have occured to me to step out, him either. I am not sure that I would leave if the nurse was obviously nervous about the procedure, but that is probably because I am in the biz. Definately ask the patient, because it is their privacy we need to be concerned about. If he did not care then no biggie!

rnmi2004 · Mar 31, 2009

It would be up to the patient to decide who he wanted present. I'd probably do a lot of explaining while I was placing the Foley to distract them. I know if my husband was going to be cath'd he want me there.

The only times I mind having an audience is when I'm starting an IV and everyone is breathing down my neck and telling me about how last time it they were poked 18 TIMES! by 27 different people! :chuckle

nurseby07 · Apr 1, 2009

It is difficult when it is someone your own age. I would want her there. My very first night on the floor alone one of my patients had a wife at the bedside who was a nurse in my hospital and I had to do that. Yikes.

DebanamRN, MSN, RN · Apr 1, 2009

The only times I mind having an audience is when I'm starting an IV and everyone is breathing down my neck and telling me about how last time it they were poked 18 TIMES! by 27 different people! :chuckle

YES! I agree - I recently had to ask a husband and son to step out of the pts room while I started the IV. They were interfering to the point that they were telling me what color cath to use ("Use a blue one."). I had them step out and was able to place a pink one! (OK, a #20) in the pts forearm. They had abused the RN and I just wasn't having any of that!

Back to foleys:

You will become more comfortable as time progresses. I've had daughters stay with moms, wives w/husbands, husbands w/wives - as long as they don't get in my way I really don't care. After all, I am the foley queen of Community ER! (wow what a distinction!). Its hard enough being a new nurse without an audience, but you will become used to them in time.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Apr 1, 2009

Speaking on the other side here, if my husband was in the room and I was ok with that and he wasn't interfering at all, and a male nurse insisted he leave while he did a procedure "down there" I have no doubt my husband would not be happy about it. He would think, WHY when I can be in here for everything else is this male nurse our same age asking me to leave to do something in that area.

May not make it right or justified but I know him well enough to know how he would react, if it was a female he wouldn't think twice if he was asked to leave, although knowing his curiosity he would probably want to watch. I almost had to kick him in the head a few times when in labor because of his curiosity :stone

If it was reversed I would probably stay in as well for different reasons then my husbands, but unless their was an emergency and they needed me out for that reason it wouldn't make sense that I would need to leave for that as long as my husband was ok with me being there obviously. Which I know my husband would want me in there.

That said, I can imagine how uncomfortable it must be. Not something I am looking forward to myself.

leslie :-D · Apr 1, 2009

i think if push came to shove, it is ultimately the pt's right to have someone present, or not.

even w/the nurse requesting everyone to leave, wouldn't hold much weight.

i'm pretty confident about that.

leslie

allnurses Guide · Apr 1, 2009

Doesnt bother me either way I prefer the wife to stay as above they sometimes make the pt feel more comfortable

As long as the patient is ok with it - I agree. The wife can actually help keep her husband from freaking out.

steph

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Apr 1, 2009

I'm in the let-her-stay camp, generally speaking. Of course there might be power/control issues, but if not, then I'd let her stay. The nervousness gets better with time, I promise!

Grace Oz · Apr 1, 2009

I remember the days when if a Dr was examining a female pt, there had to be a female nurse in the room. No if's but's or maybe's! It was the law. This protected both the patient and the Dr. It also was reassurance for the pt.

But I digress ..... what Leslie posted is spot on.

With time, you will become less intimidated by the presence of another person, regardless of who it is, being present as you execute your duties. With experience - (and age! :)) - comes confidence.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Apr 1, 2009

I remember the days when if a Dr was examining a female pt, there had to be a female nurse in the room. No if's but's or maybe's! It was the law. This protected both the patient and the Dr. It also was reassurance for the pt.
But I digress ..... what Leslie posted is spot on.
With time, you will become less intimidated by the presence of another person, regardless of who it is, being present as you execute your duties. With experience - (and age! :)) - comes confidence.

This is how it has always been when I have been seen, up until about 1.5 years ago. I should have spoke up, but for some reason when it comes to standing up for myself in some situations I freeze. The male Dr that examined me for a Hysterectomy consult was so out of line on so many levels that I walked out and got to my car and started crying hysterically. I could not believe the way I had just been treated and then it occurred to me, that on top of everything their was no female present, which had never happened before. I should have filed a complaint from what happened but I was to shaken up that I just tried to forget it. Looking back I really regret not asking for a female to accompany the doc as well and for not filing a report against the Dr. for the way he behaved.

I will not allow my child to be seen without another adult present after that experience until she is of a legal age to decide on her own.

lamazeteacher · Apr 1, 2009

so i was working last night when i got a new post-op surgical patient. a male in his thirties who was in a lot of pain and could not urinate. he needed to be straight cathed as soon as he got to the floor. at this time there were many family members in the room and just asked everyone to step out. no problem. a few hours later he needed to urinate again and still could not go, so he needed to be cathed again. this time i called the doc first to get an order for a foley so we didn't have to keep straight cathing this poor guy. so i got the ok and went in the room to put the foley in. the wife was the only one in the room at the time and make no attempt to excuse herself. so i asked her if she wanted to go get some fresh air and she declined. so she stayed in the room watching me put a foley in her husband...i was soooooo uncomfortable. should i have told her to step out or should i have not been uncomfortable?? i am a new nurse and this was the first time i had to put a foley in someone around my age.

you might have asked her if she'd hold his member while you inserted the foley.......

really, it becomes just like any other part of the body, once you're been around a few years. :nurse: