Male Foley...Wife Watching!!

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so i was working last night when i got a new post-op surgical patient. a male in his thirties who was in a lot of pain and could not urinate. he needed to be straight cathed as soon as he got to the floor. at this time there were many family members in the room and just asked everyone to step out. no problem. a few hours later he needed to urinate again and still could not go, so he needed to be cathed again. this time i called the doc first to get an order for a foley so we didn't have to keep straight cathing this poor guy. so i got the ok and went in the room to put the foley in. the wife was the only one in the room at the time and make no attempt to excuse herself. so i asked her if she wanted to go get some fresh air and she declined. so she stayed in the room watching me put a foley in her husband...i was soooooo uncomfortable. should i have told her to step out or should i have not been uncomfortable?? i am a new nurse and this was the first time i had to put a foley in someone around my age.

Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.
I remember the days when if a Dr was examining a female pt, there had to be a female nurse in the room. No if's but's or maybe's! It was the law. This protected both the patient and the Dr. It also was reassurance for the pt.

But I digress ..... what Leslie posted is spot on.

With time, you will become less intimidated by the presence of another person, regardless of who it is, being present as you execute your duties. With experience - (and age! :)) - comes confidence.

I think your first sentence is still correct.

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Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.
This is how it has always been when I have been seen, up until about 1.5 years ago. I should have spoke up, but for some reason when it comes to standing up for myself in some situations I freeze. The male Dr that examined me for a Hysterectomy consult was so out of line on so many levels that I walked out and got to my car and started crying hysterically. I could not believe the way I had just been treated and then it occurred to me, that on top of everything their was no female present, which had never happened before. I should have filed a complaint from what happened but I was to shaken up that I just tried to forget it. Looking back I really regret not asking for a female to accompany the doc as well and for not filing a report against the Dr. for the way he behaved.

I will not allow my child to be seen without another adult present after that experience until she is of a legal age to decide on her own.

You can still (and really must) report him to the medical Board and the Chief of Medical Staff at the hospital where he's on staff. Whatever he did to make you feel so distressed, is inexcusable. As long as you wait to report him, many more women will be treated as you were.

Please have a talk with your daughter(s) about appropriate behavior for adults and inappropriate actions, and what to do if an adult is inappropriate, making her uncomfortable. I remember a male relative of my sister's new husband fondling my nubs of breasts, when I was 11 years old. Although I had no idea why he did it (clueless), it made me think it wasn't OK, so I told my sister, who wouldn't believe me. I told my mother later. She wouldn't believe me. Thank heavens times have changed, and people know more about abuse, but there are still some parents who go into denial.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
You can still (and really must) report him to the medical Board and the Chief of Medical Staff at the hospital where he's on staff. Whatever he did to make you feel so distressed, is inexcusable. As long as you wait to report him, many more women will be treated as you were.

Please have a talk with your daughter(s) about appropriate behavior for adults and inappropriate actions, and what to do if an adult is inappropriate, making her uncomfortable. I remember a male relative of my sister's new husband fondling my nubs of breasts, when I was 11 years old. Although I had no idea why he did it (clueless), it made me think it wasn't OK, so I told my sister, who wouldn't believe me. I told my mother later. She wouldn't believe me. Thank heavens times have changed, and people know more about abuse, but there are still some parents who go into denial.

Oh believe me, we will have the talk, with my boys as well but I know girls are higher risk, by the age of 10 I had been molested by 3 different individuals and one person it went on for 2 years. Thankfully, the FL courts really pulled through and gave him a harsh sentence and at this point he is never getting out from what I am told.

I thought it was standard for a female to always accompany, but I did call back to the office and I ask if this was a requirement and they said no, only if you request it. I wish I had, honestly I didn't even think about it, I had been seen by so many Docs in my life without problems that I was trusting. I have no doubt that he wouldn't have behaved in such a deplorable manner if someone else was there. :(

I can't remember his name, it was a consult I was on and after that I didn't go back, I found another PCP and got another consult out. But I am assuming they can look up who it was??

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I'm a student with a somewhat related question...how the heck do you learn to do this kind of thing? when I was new, working at the hotel and I'd get bogged down, it was ok to say "I'm sorry, this is my first day."

...but I'm sorry, if I had a nurse tell me "ok, this is my first Foley, bear with me here", I would be up and running...AMA haha. who do you practice on? do they have dolls or something? assuming I get my acceptance letter this week *fingers crossed* I start my basic nursing skills class this summer...I'm really nervous about doing this kind of thing for the first time...in large part because even thinking about having anything going up that particular pipe seriously creeps me out.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I'm a student with a somewhat related question...how the heck do you learn to do this kind of thing? when I was new, working at the hotel and I'd get bogged down, it was ok to say "I'm sorry, this is my first day."

...but I'm sorry, if I had a nurse tell me "ok, this is my first Foley, bear with me here", I would be up and running...AMA haha. who do you practice on? do they have dolls or something? assuming I get my acceptance letter this week *fingers crossed* I start my basic nursing skills class this summer...I'm really nervous about doing this kind of thing for the first time...in large part because even thinking about having anything going up that particular pipe seriously creeps me out.

You have life like dummies you practice on in school.

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Specializes in Operating Room.
I disagree. This is about patient comfort not that of the nurse. As long as the spouse wasn't being disruptive they should be allowed to stay if the patient wishes they do so.

ITA and yes, it can be uncomfortable having someone watch you put a foley in, but you get used to it and you learn to ignore it. I always have an audience when putting a foley in, usually the surgeon is standing there tapping his/her foot because they want to get started with the case.:D

As long as the patient doesn't mind having the wife there, no problem.

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

I find it more uncomfortable to ask the patient if they would like privacy while i do the procedure to then have the spouse say (usually rudely) "I'm his/her wife/husband and of course I am staying." :uhoh3: To which I usually reply that I was asking the patient and it's the patient's choice. Usually, the patient will let the spouse stay, but then I get to work with tension in the room... yay...

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