the thread about strange patient requests is about seven years old now, so let's start a new one. what is the most inappropriate request a patient has ever made of you?
a patient once asked me to tell his girlfriend that he never wanted to see her again.
"let me get this straight," i said. "you want me to break up with your girlfriend for you?"
"yeah, that's it. i've been getting tired of the (bad word that means female dog) anyway."
and then there was the patient who asked me to toilet his mother, who was visiting. she was in her 80s and the patient was concerned because his wife, who had brought the mother in to visit, "doesn't like to help her out with that." guess what. neither do i, and it's not as if i could leave the icu to go out to the visitor's bathroom and toilet his mother anyway. even had i wanted to.
and then there was the woman who wanted me to babysit her children in the icu room because "granny always watches my kids when i go out to party. i'll just leave them here with her, and you can help her watch 'em."
I had a patient's husband ask me if I could rub his feet while his wife went down for her CT scan. I said no, I can't do that. So he offered to pay me. Low-life jerk. I hope his thang fall off.
Specializes in Telemetry, IMCU, s/p Open Heart surgery.
i had a patient recently complain that our beds (which are brand new) were so uncomfortable that he would be unable to sleep that night... he went on to say that his wife rubs his feet before bed every night and asked me to do it for him... ummm... no... i'm a nurse, not a masseuse.
i've have pt family ask me to swipe them meds from the pyxis or supplies like gloves and gauze and stuff.
we've had patients ask us to call the MD at 3am because they have an itch that they had since 10am when the MD was there visiting with them... why couldn't you address that issue then???
we had a young man, maybe 17, come into the ER once because he had just starting fooling around with his girlfriend and she told him he had a relatively small member compared to other ones she had seen. he wanted us to look at it and see if there was something wrong, if it was going to grow some more and give him tips on how to make it grow better. try keeping a straight face with that request.
when i used to work in endoscopy, i swear there would be one idiot a week who would ask me to go to the waiting room to tell his wife that he didn't make it. i did however, comply with a request to tell a wife that we didn't find a head during a colonoscopy.
I had one patient ask if I could stop on my way home to feed her cats while she was in the hospital.
had one try to give me money so I could pick him up cigaretts on my way to work the next day, since he was running low, and his family wouldn't buy any for him.
and, when I first started, I had a young male patient that asked me to change the IV from his hand to his arm, when asked if it was hurting/bothering him, oh, no, it was just in the way when he masterbated!
Pt in for elevated cardiac enzymes, shortness of breath, high blood sugar, and diaphoresis. But is demanding to go out and smoke in between bouts of chest pain. Why do they even bother coming in?
we had a young man, maybe 17, come into the ER once because he had just starting fooling around with his girlfriend and she told him he had a relatively small member compared to other ones she had seen. he wanted us to look at it and see if there was something wrong, if it was going to grow some more and give him tips on how to make it grow better. try keeping a straight face with that request.
aw, i find that sad.
poor, young man.
tell the gf to use a darned banana, then adios senorita.
where the hell is smilin' bob when we need him?????:chuckle
i once had a patient's wife demand that i get a pillowcase to put over the cat's bed (she smuggled her in in a large purse.) out came the cat, water and food dishes, and even her bed. the pillowcase was so the cat "wouldn't get something her vet couldn't cure." she was to spend visiting hours then go back home.
uhhh... did i forget to mention that this took place on a locked psych floor? :smackingf:omy:
starting fooling around with his girlfriend and she told him he had a relatively small member compared to other ones she had seen. he wanted us to look at it and see if there was something wrong, if it was going to grow some more and give him tips on how to make it grow better.
A long time ago, I was called to a patient's room and she had at least 5 visitors. The patient was sitting up, alert, coherent, talking, and visiting with these healthy, engaged, and animated family members who all walked in under their own power. The daughter asked me if I could get "Mother" a cup of water. Ummm, sure.
Oh, did I mention that there was (in plain sight) a fresh water pitcher with new cups and straws sitting no more than 12 inches away from the patient?
mustlovepoodles, RN
1,041 Posts
I had a patient's husband ask me if I could rub his feet while his wife went down for her CT scan. I said no, I can't do that. So he offered to pay me.
Low-life jerk. I hope his thang fall off.