Inappropriate Demands

[Ruby Vee]

the thread about strange patient requests is about seven years old now, so let's start a new one. what is the most inappropriate request a patient has ever made of you?

a patient once asked me to tell his girlfriend that he never wanted to see her again.

"let me get this straight," i said. "you want me to break up with your girlfriend for you?"

"yeah, that's it. i've been getting tired of the (bad word that means female dog) anyway."

and then there was the patient who asked me to toilet his mother, who was visiting. she was in her 80s and the patient was concerned because his wife, who had brought the mother in to visit, "doesn't like to help her out with that." guess what. neither do i, and it's not as if i could leave the icu to go out to the visitor's bathroom and toilet his mother anyway. even had i wanted to.

and then there was the woman who wanted me to babysit her children in the icu room because "granny always watches my kids when i go out to party. i'll just leave them here with her, and you can help her watch 'em."

what are yours?

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

I had a family member of one of my patients stop me in the hallway one night, and ask me if I could give him anything for his headache. I told him were the outpatient pharmacy was so he could go buy himself some tylenol. He told me he wanted me to give him some vicodin. I told him if he had a headache that he felt warranted taking a vicodin, the he needed to go to the ER, because the narcs we had on the unit were for patients with orders for them only.

[erwigg]

my 58 year old pt came back with her OJI. as she was describing her pain and decreased ROM, at the end ". . . .and I am still single. want to come sleep with me?" there is over 20 year differnace in age after the second time she was informed she would have to seek care from a differn faclity.

[gardengal1, ASN, RN]

I had an elderly 78 year old male who came in with chest pain during the middle of the night. During his cares, he asked if I would sleep with him, he would buy me a new car. PAUSE - had to think about that for about one second..........

Told him he didn't have enough money for me to do this and left the room.:chuckle

[erwigg]

I had an elderly 78 year old male who came in with chest pain during the middle of the night. During his cares, he asked if I would sleep with him, he would buy me a new car. PAUSE - had to think about that for about one second..........

Told him he didn't have enough money for me to do this and left the room.:chuckle

"pause"? . . ummmm. . . did it take you off guard or where you really having to think on that?

[gardengal1, ASN, RN]

It was a joke!!!!!!!!!!!

[escpthemadnss]

I work in LTC and have found that not only are a drunk man's words a sober man's thoughts, but a demented person's words are probably also past thoughts. I haven't been a nurse for long, but have been propositioned by both men and women and have been groped by both. Sometimes the comments are direct, sometimes indirect. One man continually asks the female staff to get in bed with him, or tells them he loves them and wants to give them a baby. A woman that's currently on my floor (with a short term memory of about 15 seconds) recently told me that she wanted me to stay the night with her and told me that she opened her eyes at night and it seemed like I should have been there next to her. I managed to keep a straight face, but my charge nurse behind the desk had tears from holding in the laughter. I don't take it personally, but women are just as capable of being sexually explicit as the men are.

[MichelleB34]

I brought a patient back from PACU that had some abdominal surgery. She had a PCA. She wasn't even off the stretcher when she asked if she could go down for a smoke. Uhm, I don't think so!

[Jess1990]

I have been asked many-a-time, why im not wearing the proper uniform. Assuming its b/c im wearing my student uniform i politely remind them that im a student and this is my uniform, and its almost always followed by a, "No, where is your sexy little white nurses uniform?"

I've been asked to massage a pt's member b/c they had some "fluid retention, and a massage will shift all the fluid and relieve the pain" They wonder why we return such comments with a disgusted look??

[groanup]

Wow, some real doozies here! Some of the stories are similar to experiences I've had, although the sex requests generally happen to female coworkers-- the only personal one I can recall is a woman with bilateral AKA, raging genital herpes, lady partsl yeast infection and UTI asking me "Do you enjoy playing with my chest?" when I was replacing some loose monitor leads. I simply replied "I am replacing your monitor leads, that's all" and then documented the incident and reported it to the charege nurse just in case I was accused of anything later.

The most bizarre ICU-specific request I've had goes something like

Pt: This is the ICU, right?

Me: Yes, it is.

Pt: Shouldn't you be doing something with me?

Me: Like what?

Pt: I don't know, ICU things.

Me: How about if I do some CPR-- you know, push real hard

and fast on your chest?

Pt: No, I don't mean that!

Me: OK, how about if I put a big tube down your throat and

connect you to a ventilator?

Pt: No, I don't want that!

Me: I could bring the defibrillator and shock you with the

paddles, that would be an ICU treatment.

Pt: No, I don't want that either!

Me: Well, those are all ICU things! If you change your

mind let me or the doctor know!

No one ever does.

[emijen2girls]

This isn't so terrible just so so annoying. I work on a surgical unit and always so busy. I am running the entire time (I work 12 hr shifts). SO when the call light goes off and the request is: "can you plug my cell phone" "bring me my cell phone" I think it is so rude. We provide you with a phone and I make sure it is next to the pt (that is how they order their meals) I do not have the time to babysit your electronics. Now I know that some people need the cell because their loved ones are far away but they do not need to A) talk so much that it needs plugged between calls or B) call me specifically for it when I or another staff member will be coming soon for meds, dressing changes etc. I also thing it is a safety issue: there are cords/lines everywhere in our rooms to begin with to add another one is a fall risk for STAFF.

And while I am at it I also think that it is rude for the pt to carry on his/her phone conversation while I get into the room for treatment (I am standing there with dressings in my hands). Now I just say: please hang up, I need your attention.

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

I work in LTC and have found that not only are a drunk man's words a sober man's thoughts, but a demented person's words are probably also past thoughts. I haven't been a nurse for long, but have been propositioned by both men and women and have been groped by both. Sometimes the comments are direct, sometimes indirect. One man continually asks the female staff to get in bed with him, or tells them he loves them and wants to give them a baby. A woman that's currently on my floor (with a short term memory of about 15 seconds) recently told me that she wanted me to stay the night with her and told me that she opened her eyes at night and it seemed like I should have been there next to her. I managed to keep a straight face, but my charge nurse behind the desk had tears from holding in the laughter. I don't take it personally, but women are just as capable of being sexually explicit as the men are.

this is probably off topic but your post reminded me of a sweet, demented lady i cared for at my first job. she had a prolapsed uterus that would fall out often. her doctors name was baumgarder but she called him "dr bum&ucker". she was the only one on earth he allowed to call him that, lol. but you know we all said it behind his back.

anyhoo, she was so demented. she had no idea who i was but she knew i "belonged" to her somehow. when her uterus would prolapse she would come to my side of the desk, hike her dress up in the back and bend over, crying 'call dr bum&ucker to come fix it!".

you would seriously have to go in the med room to not cry from laughing because she was honestly distressed and crying tears.

but it was one of the funniest requests i'll never forget