I'm lost. I want to quit nursing.

[Amdecl6]

I'm lost. I want to quit floor/bedside nursing, but I don't know what to do as an alternative.

I've been a nurse for about 2 ½ years now. I know that's not very long and some people might say that it's not long enough to know for sure that you want to quit, but I know me and I KNOW I want out.

Right after graduation I went to work in the OR. I was part of a peri-op program and I managed to work there for about 1 ½ years. I knew very early on that I didn't like the OR, but I didn't want to quit and I decided to stick it out and see what happened. Ultimately, it was fast paced days, filled with verbally abusive surgeons, nit-picky charge nurses, extremely long days with being on-call, and it took a toll on me and my family. By the time I left, I was charge nurse in the afternoon/evening and I was precepting new people. I knew how to do my job and I was really good at it. Just miserable. It also bothered me that I wasn't doing any of the nursing skills I had learned in school. I was pretty much just monitoring everyone in the room, running for stuff that was needed, and getting yelled at by surgeons when anything went wrong......even if it wasn't my fault. I wanted to be in a role that had a lot more hands-on patient care. I just didn't feel like a nurse in the OR. So I left.

I got a job at a long term acute care hospital. The patients there are very, very sick. Most of the patient population consists of people with respiratory failure and who are on vents and a lot of them have major wound care needs. I figured going to this facility would be a great place to learn and get some good experience. I was wrong. The facility itself was old and run down, which I knew going into it, but I thought I would just deal with it for now. The patient load was 6 patients to 1 nurse, which seems to be the standard in most hospitals in my area, but these patients are very ill, I would consider most of them to be a standard ICU patient in a regular hospital, and now I'm taking care of 6 every shift! That's a lot. A lot of them have G-tubes and take up to 20 pills at a time, all of which need crushed by hand with pliers.

It was all so time consuming and by the time I finished my 1^st rounds of assessments and med passes, it was time for the next round. It was monotonous and unfulfilling and I felt like I was always behind. I won't even go into dealing with the needy patients and/or their families and trying to maintain a work flow while CONSTANTLY answering call bells for the most ridiculous requests. Long story short, I left there after about 5 months.

I now work in an ER. Working in the ER is what I wanted to do from day one. While in nursing school, I always imagined being in an ER. I was ecstatic when I got this job....my DREAM JOB. I've been there about 3 months now, and I hate it.

I've been a nurse for 2 ½ years and not once have I loved doing it. I find it to be nothing but stress. I have anxiety ALL THE TIME, everyday, even when I'm not at work. The hours are long and exhausting and I NEVER feel like I'm doing a good job. I'm starting to sink into a serious depression, so much so, that I plan on going to see a counselor because I almost can't function anymore. Even on my days off I'm constantly stressing about having to go back. I have to work today and I had nightmares all throughout last night and didn't sleep well at all. I've had nothing but anxiety since I woke up and I feel like I want to cry at just the thought of going back today.

Nursing is nothing like I thought it was going to be. Had I truly known what it entailed I would never had started this journey to begin with. I hate that I gave up so many years of my life going to nursing school. I wasted all those years studying and working so hard when I could have been home with my children. My husband is so proud that I'm a nurse, he loves to tell people his wife is a nurse. I have no pride in my job, I have no joy in what I do. I get so overwhelmed with so many tasks and people to take care of at once...I think it just sucks the life out of me and makes me hate it all.

The one part of my job that I do enjoy is talking to my patients. They're nervous and sick, they don't like hospitals, they don't feel good, sometimes just talking about what's going on in their life, or about their sweet baby that's in the room, or the new job I overheard them talking about, takes away from this moment in time of being stuck in a bed, sick and afraid. I can't help but to be curious about how the issue/disease started, what do they do for work, how are they handling your illness/pain on a daily basis. My patients seem to love the interaction. So many times I've had people tell me I'm the best nurse they've had because I actually take the time to talk to them and it shows I care about them. However, all of that takes time and it can cause me to get behind in my other tasks, which just sets off a chain reaction for a bad day of rushing to catch up. I'm so miserable. I'm so stressed. I have so much anxiety all the time. I cry for no reason. I'm lashing out at my family. I need to find a solution fast.

I have this degree that I worked so hard for. I'm 43 years old and don't want to start all over and have to get a different degree. I need to find something I can do, with the nursing degree that I have, that I can be happy about doing and maybe actually look forward to going to work every day.

I know I'm not the only person to ever feel this way. If anyone has any suggestions as to an alternative job/area of nursing to try, I would greatly appreciate some ideas!

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

Congratulations! You survived and now have enough experience to branch out. Seriously, you've worked some tough floors in those few years. With that experience you should be able to transition to just about anywhere with minimal problems. If you like direct care nursing but want more time with your patients consider hospice or home care. There is a lot more 1:1 time with your patients. Especially Hospice where a big part of the job is to focus not only on the patient but the family. The major downside is you are always working with patients that you know are dying and not everybody is emotionally cut out for the depressing nature of that. On the positive side when your primary focus is the comfort of the patient it can be very rewarding to guide a dying person toward the inevitable end with comfort and dignity. While it may not always seem so at the time, trust me as a person that lost both my parents while under hospice care that the Hospice nurses are well appreciated!

[Aliens05, ASN]

There are settings out there some people aren't always aware of. I work in a small modern group home with 5 people living in a house, each has own bed and bath, they are intellectually and physically disabled. There may still be somewhat of a stigma out there about some of these people, but I love it. I don't ever dread going to work any day, I have a choice of 8 hour shifts or 12 hour shifts depending what house I work at, or you can always work at the same house. You are typically the only nurse there, but mostly you just hang out with them, talk to them, take them to movies, ball games, while still providing some minimal cares. Yes you won't utilize nursing skills other than charting and assessing primarily, but it is a fun job, pays about as well as the hospitals, and the residents are permanent. You do get to form a major bond with them, but in my opinion that is a benefit, not a downside. If you like talking to people and interacting then this would be a great area. They are typically very entertaining, joyful and fun to be around.

[Chrispy11, ASN, RN]

Maybe orthopedics, it's a really nice gig, elective patients come do a knee or hip replacement and go home in 3 days. They called for ridiculous things but our calling system allows the secretary to filter the tedious request to the PCA's. Work 3 days or nights, for the most part orthopedics is a really good time, the patients aren't sick so no codes.

Ridiculous and tedious like being in SCDs and having to pee? Pain medication? Have a surgery yourself and see what it's like to be in that bed unable to move. I know patients can be demanding and sometimes unreasonable but put yourself in the place of one of your patients. I had an orthopedic surgery and only called as a last resort. Loaded with fluid, told to lay a certain way and not get up. Where's the fluid supposed to go?

[Aunt Slappy]

Ridiculous and tedious like being in SCDs and having to pee? Pain medication? Have a surgery yourself and see what it's like to be in that bed unable to move. I know patients can be demanding and sometimes unreasonable but put yourself in the place of one of your patients. I had an orthopedic surgery and only called as a last resort. Loaded with fluid, told to lay a certain way and not get up. Where's the fluid supposed to go?

I'm pretty certain that Ackeem wasn't personally attacking you....

[MEINstudent]

I also am a nurse as a second career, though I've been a nurse now for about six years. It takes 5-10 years to really get comfortable in nursing, but I think it is just a stressful career choice. I don't love it, but I appreciate the flexibility of hours, and decent pay.

You might like care management. Less stressful, though probably tedious and boring. Or the clinic, or an infusion lab. Or if you have decent IV skills, maybe a vascular access nurse? You also may like PACU if you have ED experience.

[Amdecl6]

I consider about how lucky you are. I wish I had half of your luck. I have been applying jobs here and there for half year. I haven't got anything back. Finally I applied a new residency program , got an interview then got denied. Hope you find your dream job soon.

Oh, yes, I definitely understand how lucky I have been to have the opportunity to work in areas other nurses dream of. I was just telling a friend the other day how guilty I feel about being unhappy with a job that others would kill for. The hospital that Im at is AMAZING and I have zero complaints about the facility or the employees....Im just so miserable and I dont understand why. Im sorry you have had such a hard time finding work in your area, Im hoping and praying you find something soon!

[Amdecl6]

Thank you everyone for all your comments and for sharing your experiences with me. I've been trying to really reflect and narrow down why I'm so unhappy with nursing. I can't pinpoint any one particular reason that's causing me to be miserable, but I do know that nursing, for me, has not been anything like what I perceived it would be.

As I said before, I'm on my 3rd job in 2 ½ years and I can honestly say I haven't had much joy in any of these jobs. I've found that the tremendous amount of responsibility placed on my shoulders on a daily basis, the pressure of having someone's life in my hands, the insane non-stop back-to back patient workload, and the emotional stress and anxiety it causes, are NOT what I had envisioned my life would be like as a nurse. Yes, I had many, many clinical rotations during nursing school. And yes, they were at a variety of institutions and I was exposed to many different nursing specialties, but shadowing a nurse for clinical hours versus BEING the nurse are two VERY different things. I think the reality of what nursing really is, has me somewhat shell shocked.

I'm currently working in a hospital that is amazing. It is THE HOSPITAL that everyone I know wants to work at. I have the ER job that all my friends envy. It takes me less than 8 minutes to get from my driveway to the parking lot of the hospital. I felt guilty because looking from the outside in, I have it made. This should be "the job", but instead I'm crying as I do my make-up and I work my shifts with heart palpitations and headaches from the anxiety of it all. All of my co-workers say, "Give it time, you'll get used to it.", or, "It took me about a year before it all clicked and I got used to it all." But do I WANT to get used to it? Do I want to live in a constant state of nerves and anxiety, for a year, to finally be "used to it"? Used to working under extreme stress and pressure? I think it's a sad life to have a job where I'm "used" to the stress and constant demands. I just don't think it's worth it.

I'm not someone who feels the need to be challenged or likes to be pushed to their limit. I thrive off of stability, routines, and steady work. I want to go to work, do a great job, help people in any way I can, then clock out, go home, enjoy my family and not have a second thought about work until I wake up the next day and start all over. I don't like feeling rushed and spread so thin that I can't even think straight, I don't like not being able to focus on my patients and give each of them the quality of care they need and deserve because I have 3 other patients to take care of. I hate feeling like no matter how much I do or as hard as I work, it's never, ever enough. And I absolutely hate wasting my days off, like today, constantly thinking about and dreading going to work tomorrow.

I've been looking a lot into case management or maybe going to work as a nurse at a surgery center. The surgery center is right up my alley with my OR experience. It's also one patient at a time, one case at a time, and I can have that one-on-one interaction with each patient during the pre-op stage before their surgery. It's also a Mon-Fri, no weekends, no holiday, no call, job that pays more.

As far as case management is concerned, I think I might do better with a job that has minimal direct patient care. I know that case management involves a lot of paperwork and computer time and I've heard some say it's more like a social worker/secretarial job, but honestly, I think my type-A, systematic, linear thinking, somewhat OCD, personality would probably love it.

[Alex_RN, BSN]

I mean........WHAT?

Pliers? Were these people unaware that actual pill-crushing devices exist? That just really jumped out at me.

I KNOW, RIGHT? I have worked LTAC and "pliers" lept out at me, too. We used big, ol' "Silent Knight" pill crushers in each room or portable palm-sized twisty ones.

[subee, MSN, CRNA]

Thank you everyone for all your comments and for sharing your experiences with me. I've been trying to really reflect and narrow down why I'm so unhappy with nursing. I can't pinpoint any one particular reason that's causing me to be miserable, but I do know that nursing, for me, has not been anything like what I perceived it would be.

As I said before, I'm on my 3rd job in 2 ½ years and I can honestly say I haven't had much joy in any of these jobs. I've found that the tremendous amount of responsibility placed on my shoulders on a daily basis, the pressure of having someone's life in my hands, the insane non-stop back-to back patient workload, and the emotional stress and anxiety it causes, are NOT what I had envisioned my life would be like as a nurse. Yes, I had many, many clinical rotations during nursing school. And yes, they were at a variety of institutions and I was exposed to many different nursing specialties, but shadowing a nurse for clinical hours versus BEING the nurse are two VERY different things. I think the reality of what nursing really is, has me somewhat shell shocked.

I'm currently working in a hospital that is amazing. It is THE HOSPITAL that everyone I know wants to work at. I have the ER job that all my friends envy. It takes me less than 8 minutes to get from my driveway to the parking lot of the hospital. I felt guilty because looking from the outside in, I have it made. This should be "the job", but instead I'm crying as I do my make-up and I work my shifts with heart palpitations and headaches from the anxiety of it all. All of my co-workers say, "Give it time, you'll get used to it.", or, "It took me about a year before it all clicked and I got used to it all." But do I WANT to get used to it? Do I want to live in a constant state of nerves and anxiety, for a year, to finally be "used to it"? Used to working under extreme stress and pressure? I think it's a sad life to have a job where I'm "used" to the stress and constant demands. I just don't think it's worth it.

I'm not someone who feels the need to be challenged or likes to be pushed to their limit. I thrive off of stability, routines, and steady work. I want to go to work, do a great job, help people in any way I can, then clock out, go home, enjoy my family and not have a second thought about work until I wake up the next day and start all over. I don't like feeling rushed and spread so thin that I can't even think straight, I don't like not being able to focus on my patients and give each of them the quality of care they need and deserve because I have 3 other patients to take care of. I hate feeling like no matter how much I do or as hard as I work, it's never, ever enough. And I absolutely hate wasting my days off, like today, constantly thinking about and dreading going to work tomorrow.

I've been looking a lot into case management or maybe going to work as a nurse at a surgery center. The surgery center is right up my alley with my OR experience. It's also one patient at a time, one case at a time, and I can have that one-on-one interaction with each patient during the pre-op stage before their surgery. It's also a Mon-Fri, no weekends, no holiday, no call, job that pays more.

As far as case management is concerned, I think I might do better with a job that has minimal direct patient care. I know that case management involves a lot of paperwork and computer time and I've heard some say it's more like a social worker/secretarial job, but honestly, I think my type-A, systematic, linear thinking, somewhat OCD, personality would probably love it.

Maybe you could use a little counseling to help you sort out whether it's work or something else bothering you. You are obviously not happy with the direction of your career or happy in your life. It will be money well spent.

[Chrispy11, ASN, RN]

You look for jobs on a site like Indeed and then go directly to the employer's website and apply. If you apply to maybe a dozen in a week that match your level of experience, you'll get calls for interviews from a decent portion. I applied to 13 in one week and had 7 interviews lined up. If you post your resume to one of those sites you mentioned, you won't get very far waiting for people to call you. I put up resume and pulled it down 8 years ago and am still getting calls.Tailor your resume and cover letter to the position. Explain how your skill set matches the company's values in the cover letter. If you get an interview, research the company ask questions about the culture, responsibilities, etc. Tons of interview questions you can Google and pick and choose from. If you know something about the company it may put you ahead of someone who didn't bother with the research. Its really only a few minutes of your time to improve your chances. The salary dance comes last and when it's your first job, not much negotiating. They will however sometimes come back with a higher offer if they really want you. Hope this helps.

[Chrispy11, ASN, RN]

Thank you everyone for all your comments and for sharing your experiences with me. I've been trying to really reflect and narrow down why I'm so unhappy with nursing. I can't pinpoint any one particular reason that's causing me to be miserable, but I do know that nursing, for me, has not been anything like what I perceived it would be.

As I said before, I'm on my 3rd job in 2 ½ years and I can honestly say I haven't had much joy in any of these jobs. I've found that the tremendous amount of responsibility placed on my shoulders on a daily basis, the pressure of having someone's life in my hands, the insane non-stop back-to back patient workload, and the emotional stress and anxiety it causes, are NOT what I had envisioned my life would be like as a nurse. Yes, I had many, many clinical rotations during nursing school. And yes, they were at a variety of institutions and I was exposed to many different nursing specialties, but shadowing a nurse for clinical hours versus BEING the nurse are two VERY different things. I think the reality of what nursing really is, has me somewhat shell shocked.

I'm currently working in a hospital that is amazing. It is THE HOSPITAL that everyone I know wants to work at. I have the ER job that all my friends envy. It takes me less than 8 minutes to get from my driveway to the parking lot of the hospital. I felt guilty because looking from the outside in, I have it made. This should be "the job", but instead I'm crying as I do my make-up and I work my shifts with heart palpitations and headaches from the anxiety of it all. All of my co-workers say, "Give it time, you'll get used to it.", or, "It took me about a year before it all clicked and I got used to it all." But do I WANT to get used to it? Do I want to live in a constant state of nerves and anxiety, for a year, to finally be "used to it"? Used to working under extreme stress and pressure? I think it's a sad life to have a job where I'm "used" to the stress and constant demands. I just don't think it's worth it.

I'm not someone who feels the need to be challenged or likes to be pushed to their limit. I thrive off of stability, routines, and steady work. I want to go to work, do a great job, help people in any way I can, then clock out, go home, enjoy my family and not have a second thought about work until I wake up the next day and start all over. I don't like feeling rushed and spread so thin that I can't even think straight, I don't like not being able to focus on my patients and give each of them the quality of care they need and deserve because I have 3 other patients to take care of. I hate feeling like no matter how much I do or as hard as I work, it's never, ever enough. And I absolutely hate wasting my days off, like today, constantly thinking about and dreading going to work tomorrow.

I've been looking a lot into case management or maybe going to work as a nurse at a surgery center. The surgery center is right up my alley with my OR experience. It's also one patient at a time, one case at a time, and I can have that one-on-one interaction with each patient during the pre-op stage before their surgery. It's also a Mon-Fri, no weekends, no holiday, no call, job that pays more.

As far as case management is concerned, I think I might do better with a job that has minimal direct patient care. I know that case management involves a lot of paperwork and computer time and I've heard some say it's more like a social worker/secretarial job, but honestly, I think my type-A, systematic, linear thinking, somewhat OCD, personality would probably love it.

Dialysis is Monday though Saturday. No Sundays unless it's before a major Holiday. The holiday will be off. They do the same for bad storms. Busy but not overwhelming. Shift flies and you're home. Definitely has stability, routine and steady work. Sadly. people regularly destroy their kidney function with Diabetes and Hypertension.

[WestCoastSunRN, MSN, CNS]

You might like case management and you have plenty of experience for it. Just be OK with "not using all the nursing skills you learned"... as this was an issue in the OR for you? That just can't be an issue if you want a job with little to no direct patient care, right? You can't have it all. The heavy clinical skills are going to be used by nurses in acute care settings. Be ok with not being one of those nurses and get on with the rest of your life.

Your education prepared you for more than one or two or even three kinds of opportunities! Be open to that. You surely don't need to leave nursing. There is just so much variety in this profession I have a hard time understanding why someone would leave it unless they have a big hankering to do something totally different they can't do with a nursing degree. That doesn't sound like you.

Many folks have given you great ideas here. But only you can let go of the fantasy of what you thought nursing was going to be.

Work is work, you know? It is going to be stressful to some degree no matter what you do. Figure out your threshold and go from there.