I'm lost. I want to quit nursing.

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm lost. I want to quit floor/bedside nursing, but I don't know what to do as an alternative.

I've been a nurse for about 2 ½ years now. I know that's not very long and some people might say that it's not long enough to know for sure that you want to quit, but I know me and I KNOW I want out.

Right after graduation I went to work in the OR. I was part of a peri-op program and I managed to work there for about 1 ½ years. I knew very early on that I didn't like the OR, but I didn't want to quit and I decided to stick it out and see what happened. Ultimately, it was fast paced days, filled with verbally abusive surgeons, nit-picky charge nurses, extremely long days with being on-call, and it took a toll on me and my family. By the time I left, I was charge nurse in the afternoon/evening and I was precepting new people. I knew how to do my job and I was really good at it. Just miserable. It also bothered me that I wasn't doing any of the nursing skills I had learned in school. I was pretty much just monitoring everyone in the room, running for stuff that was needed, and getting yelled at by surgeons when anything went wrong......even if it wasn't my fault. I wanted to be in a role that had a lot more hands-on patient care. I just didn't feel like a nurse in the OR. So I left.

I got a job at a long term acute care hospital. The patients there are very, very sick. Most of the patient population consists of people with respiratory failure and who are on vents and a lot of them have major wound care needs. I figured going to this facility would be a great place to learn and get some good experience. I was wrong. The facility itself was old and run down, which I knew going into it, but I thought I would just deal with it for now. The patient load was 6 patients to 1 nurse, which seems to be the standard in most hospitals in my area, but these patients are very ill, I would consider most of them to be a standard ICU patient in a regular hospital, and now I'm taking care of 6 every shift! That's a lot. A lot of them have G-tubes and take up to 20 pills at a time, all of which need crushed by hand with pliers.

It was all so time consuming and by the time I finished my 1st rounds of assessments and med passes, it was time for the next round. It was monotonous and unfulfilling and I felt like I was always behind. I won't even go into dealing with the needy patients and/or their families and trying to maintain a work flow while CONSTANTLY answering call bells for the most ridiculous requests. Long story short, I left there after about 5 months.

I now work in an ER. Working in the ER is what I wanted to do from day one. While in nursing school, I always imagined being in an ER. I was ecstatic when I got this job....my DREAM JOB. I've been there about 3 months now, and I hate it.

I've been a nurse for 2 ½ years and not once have I loved doing it. I find it to be nothing but stress. I have anxiety ALL THE TIME, everyday, even when I'm not at work. The hours are long and exhausting and I NEVER feel like I'm doing a good job. I'm starting to sink into a serious depression, so much so, that I plan on going to see a counselor because I almost can't function anymore. Even on my days off I'm constantly stressing about having to go back. I have to work today and I had nightmares all throughout last night and didn't sleep well at all. I've had nothing but anxiety since I woke up and I feel like I want to cry at just the thought of going back today.

Nursing is nothing like I thought it was going to be. Had I truly known what it entailed I would never had started this journey to begin with. I hate that I gave up so many years of my life going to nursing school. I wasted all those years studying and working so hard when I could have been home with my children. My husband is so proud that I'm a nurse, he loves to tell people his wife is a nurse. I have no pride in my job, I have no joy in what I do. I get so overwhelmed with so many tasks and people to take care of at once...I think it just sucks the life out of me and makes me hate it all.

The one part of my job that I do enjoy is talking to my patients. They're nervous and sick, they don't like hospitals, they don't feel good, sometimes just talking about what's going on in their life, or about their sweet baby that's in the room, or the new job I overheard them talking about, takes away from this moment in time of being stuck in a bed, sick and afraid. I can't help but to be curious about how the issue/disease started, what do they do for work, how are they handling your illness/pain on a daily basis. My patients seem to love the interaction. So many times I've had people tell me I'm the best nurse they've had because I actually take the time to talk to them and it shows I care about them. However, all of that takes time and it can cause me to get behind in my other tasks, which just sets off a chain reaction for a bad day of rushing to catch up. I'm so miserable. I'm so stressed. I have so much anxiety all the time. I cry for no reason. I'm lashing out at my family. I need to find a solution fast.

I have this degree that I worked so hard for. I'm 43 years old and don't want to start all over and have to get a different degree. I need to find something I can do, with the nursing degree that I have, that I can be happy about doing and maybe actually look forward to going to work every day.

I know I'm not the only person to ever feel this way. If anyone has any suggestions as to an alternative job/area of nursing to try, I would greatly appreciate some ideas!

0 Votes

You've had 3 jobs in 2.5 years on some very challenging units? Good gravy it's no wonder you want to quit the field altogether-you're not giving yourself a chance to get good at what you do before you jump ship. It takes time to get comfy in a new job much less new career, to learn the flow of any given unit and get competent enough where anxiety eases up and you begin to enjoy your job. Or at least get enough experience to learn to take a deep breath and roll with it. IMO, you aren't giving yourself enough time at each job and are setting yourself up to fail. But that's not what you asked, sorry.

So, you are convinced that nursing isn't going to work for you, what do you think would work for you?

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At this point I feel like maybe I'm just not cut out for the hospital setting. Maybe I'd do well with a doctors office? Mon-Fri with no weekends or holidays is appealing. I've thought about case management, but I think I would need a lot of experience in order to be good at it and I'm just not sure I have enough. There's also the option of working at a surgery center. I have a friend who works at one locally and she works Mon-Fri, no weekends or holidays. I thought about going that route since I have OR experience and it would be an easy transition. Plus, I could get my BSN over the next 2 years while I work and then try for a case management job that deals with surgical patients. I just know I'm not doing well in all these hospital type settings. It makes me feel like a complete loser, but we're all made with different personalities and giftings, so maybe the hospital just isn't my thing.

0 Votes
Specializes in hospice, LTC, public health, occupational health.

Have you considered hospice? Public health? Occupational health? Private duty?

There are tons of ways to be a nurse. I too am 43 and have been a nurse 2 1/2 years. I just started job #4 this week. IMO once you figure out that something is not for you, move on to the next thing. You have a family and so can't just quit on a whim, but you can plan a change and execute it. I never left a job until I had secured the next one, and this last move was a lateral transfer so my benefits won't be changed or disrupted. I don't believe I need to kill myself just to support my family, so I've kept looking around for something better. I'm not gonna criticize you for doing the same. When a job is ruining your days off and threatening to give you an ulcer from all the stomach-churning on days you work, it's time to get out.

1 Votes

Maybe orthopedics, it's a really nice gig, elective patients come do a knee or hip replacement and go home in 3 days. They called for ridiculous things but our calling system allows the secretary to filter the tedious request to the PCA's. Work 3 days or nights, for the most part orthopedics is a really good time, the patients aren't sick so no codes.

0 Votes
Specializes in hospice, LTC, public health, occupational health.
A lot of them have G-tubes and take up to 20 pills at a time, all of which need crushed by hand with pliers.

I mean........WHAT?

Pliers? Were these people unaware that actual pill-crushing devices exist? That just really jumped out at me.

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I also had a case manager approach me today about a PRN position at the hospital I'm at now. Another PRN position tho...I really need full time for insurance purposes. ������

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Since this morning, my friend at the surgery center messaged me to let me know that they are hiring PRN. I can't afford to do PRN due to needing insurance for my diabetic daughter, but she mentioned me to her boss who said she would work me 4-5 days a week at PRN until a full time spot opens and then I could take that spot. So that's something I'm considering.

1 Votes
Have you considered hospice? Public health? Occupational health? Private duty?

There are tons of ways to be a nurse. I too am 43 and have been a nurse 2 1/2 years. I just started job #4 this week. IMO once you figure out that something is not for you, move on to the next thing. You have a family and so can't just quit on a whim, but you can plan a change and execute it. I never left a job until I had secured the next one, and this last move was a lateral transfer so my benefits won't be changed or disrupted. I don't believe I need to kill myself just to support my family, so I've kept looking around for something better. I'm not gonna criticize you for doing the same. When a job is ruining your days off and threatening to give you an ulcer from all the stomach-churning on days you work, it's time to get out.

Thank you so much for telling me your story! It's so nice to know I'm not the only one having issues!

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I mean........WHAT?

Pliers? Were these people unaware that actual pill-crushing devices exist? That just really jumped out at me.

Yes! Pliers like from Home Depot! They were definitely stuck in the 80's as far as equipment goes. I thought I was going to need carpal tunnel surgery if I stayed much longer. Lol.

0 Votes

You have enough experience to pick your job. I hung on waaay to long schlepping the halls.

Ended up with a cushy work from home position. Look for disease management, utilization review, and case management jobs.

Search the job boards.

Best wishes.

0 Votes
You have enough experience to pick your job. I hung on waaay to long schlepping the halls.

Ended up with a cushy work from home position. Look for disease management, utilization review, and case management jobs.

Search the job boards.

Best wishes.

I'd love a work from home job! Did you just do a Google search online or are there particular websites I should look at?

0 Votes
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