I'm lost. I want to quit nursing.

[Amdecl6]

I'm lost. I want to quit floor/bedside nursing, but I don't know what to do as an alternative.

I've been a nurse for about 2 ½ years now. I know that's not very long and some people might say that it's not long enough to know for sure that you want to quit, but I know me and I KNOW I want out.

Right after graduation I went to work in the OR. I was part of a peri-op program and I managed to work there for about 1 ½ years. I knew very early on that I didn't like the OR, but I didn't want to quit and I decided to stick it out and see what happened. Ultimately, it was fast paced days, filled with verbally abusive surgeons, nit-picky charge nurses, extremely long days with being on-call, and it took a toll on me and my family. By the time I left, I was charge nurse in the afternoon/evening and I was precepting new people. I knew how to do my job and I was really good at it. Just miserable. It also bothered me that I wasn't doing any of the nursing skills I had learned in school. I was pretty much just monitoring everyone in the room, running for stuff that was needed, and getting yelled at by surgeons when anything went wrong......even if it wasn't my fault. I wanted to be in a role that had a lot more hands-on patient care. I just didn't feel like a nurse in the OR. So I left.

I got a job at a long term acute care hospital. The patients there are very, very sick. Most of the patient population consists of people with respiratory failure and who are on vents and a lot of them have major wound care needs. I figured going to this facility would be a great place to learn and get some good experience. I was wrong. The facility itself was old and run down, which I knew going into it, but I thought I would just deal with it for now. The patient load was 6 patients to 1 nurse, which seems to be the standard in most hospitals in my area, but these patients are very ill, I would consider most of them to be a standard ICU patient in a regular hospital, and now I'm taking care of 6 every shift! That's a lot. A lot of them have G-tubes and take up to 20 pills at a time, all of which need crushed by hand with pliers.

It was all so time consuming and by the time I finished my 1^st rounds of assessments and med passes, it was time for the next round. It was monotonous and unfulfilling and I felt like I was always behind. I won't even go into dealing with the needy patients and/or their families and trying to maintain a work flow while CONSTANTLY answering call bells for the most ridiculous requests. Long story short, I left there after about 5 months.

I now work in an ER. Working in the ER is what I wanted to do from day one. While in nursing school, I always imagined being in an ER. I was ecstatic when I got this job....my DREAM JOB. I've been there about 3 months now, and I hate it.

I've been a nurse for 2 ½ years and not once have I loved doing it. I find it to be nothing but stress. I have anxiety ALL THE TIME, everyday, even when I'm not at work. The hours are long and exhausting and I NEVER feel like I'm doing a good job. I'm starting to sink into a serious depression, so much so, that I plan on going to see a counselor because I almost can't function anymore. Even on my days off I'm constantly stressing about having to go back. I have to work today and I had nightmares all throughout last night and didn't sleep well at all. I've had nothing but anxiety since I woke up and I feel like I want to cry at just the thought of going back today.

Nursing is nothing like I thought it was going to be. Had I truly known what it entailed I would never had started this journey to begin with. I hate that I gave up so many years of my life going to nursing school. I wasted all those years studying and working so hard when I could have been home with my children. My husband is so proud that I'm a nurse, he loves to tell people his wife is a nurse. I have no pride in my job, I have no joy in what I do. I get so overwhelmed with so many tasks and people to take care of at once...I think it just sucks the life out of me and makes me hate it all.

The one part of my job that I do enjoy is talking to my patients. They're nervous and sick, they don't like hospitals, they don't feel good, sometimes just talking about what's going on in their life, or about their sweet baby that's in the room, or the new job I overheard them talking about, takes away from this moment in time of being stuck in a bed, sick and afraid. I can't help but to be curious about how the issue/disease started, what do they do for work, how are they handling your illness/pain on a daily basis. My patients seem to love the interaction. So many times I've had people tell me I'm the best nurse they've had because I actually take the time to talk to them and it shows I care about them. However, all of that takes time and it can cause me to get behind in my other tasks, which just sets off a chain reaction for a bad day of rushing to catch up. I'm so miserable. I'm so stressed. I have so much anxiety all the time. I cry for no reason. I'm lashing out at my family. I need to find a solution fast.

I have this degree that I worked so hard for. I'm 43 years old and don't want to start all over and have to get a different degree. I need to find something I can do, with the nursing degree that I have, that I can be happy about doing and maybe actually look forward to going to work every day.

I know I'm not the only person to ever feel this way. If anyone has any suggestions as to an alternative job/area of nursing to try, I would greatly appreciate some ideas!

[djh123]

Two quite-different answers:

1) As many on here have responded to others who didn't like whatever types of nursing they've done, there are many different types of nursing, which can be wildly different. Maybe you need to still try another type or two or three before you give up on it.

2) Sorry, but I skimmed a bit of your post ... not sure you mentioned how old you are, but from my older guy viewpoint, I wouldn't fret so much about how many years you've wasted going to school and being a nurse. I spent many years as a programmer, and although it was ok a fair amount of the time, and challenging and a bit rewarding now and then, I was never that excited about it. I should've changed careers long before I did, but my point is that I don't think you've really wasted a ton of time. If you DO decide to leave nursing, you can study and work toward something else. I have a cousin who's had 3 careers, just for example.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Have you ever considered correctional or psychiatric nursing? These fields are not the "glam" jobs that the ED and OR appear to be, but if you like to talk to your patients these areas of nursing are well suited to your strengths. Home care may be another option as you have more 1-on-1 time with your patients. Just please, don't give up! There are so many other places to use your skills.

Correctional nursing is NOT the place to try to socialize with or get to know your patients very well. And you definitely are going to be trained by your employer to NOT let them get to know you.

You are dealing with inmates. Prisoners. Killers, rapists, arsonists, baby abusers, drug dealers, white collars criminals, and so on. They are not locked up for being nice. They WILL try to get your license plate number and then tell you they know where you live. And they'll tell you your address. They will use against you any tidbit of personal information you tell them. Any tidbit at all.

I'd say the same for Psych. Maybe a little less emphatically, but not much.

Yes, I am generalizing. There are, doubtless, some decent folk locked up, even more innocent folk than we want to imagine.

But working in the aforementioned settings for at least 30 years makes me well-qualified to advise you on this topic.

[msup143]

I agree with you nursing as a job is emotionally and physically tasking. I'm a nurse for 24 yrs, I went through a lot of abuse from patients,coworkers,patient's family and I told myself I'm ready to quit but I can't afford it. This is the only job I know and I need the money to send my kids to college. I'd transfer from job to job too-I have bad days and good days. I think what keeps me from quitting is the thought that my good days weigh more than my bad days. Also, I thought I did make a difference to most of my patients and I truly did care for my patients.I'm currently working as a tele nurse and maybe I'll stay on this floor until I'm 60.So ,hang in there, or try to find an area in nursing that you might fit in and if nothing really works-then let go!!

[NLNM, BSN]

Amdecl6 , I truly understand your frustration. My frustrations with bedside care are pretty much the same in addition of "self scheduling" which requires 2 Fridays, 2 Mondays (in which I don't mind except the scheduling team, RN colleagues, would schedule additional Fridays and Mondays along with switching my other requested work nights around causing me to work every other night some weeks which is difficult working the night shifts with the additional Fridays and Mondays in a six week scheduling period) along with working the required every 3rd weekend, techs in which some aren't very supportive so how my night turns out depends on the assigned tech and charge RN who makes up the assignments the previous shift. Have you considered working in an outpatient setting? Yes, there may be a decrease in pay depending on where you work but a decrease in pay, a more predictable schedule, no holidays, weekends, less stress and your peace of mind may be a bit more beneficial than dealing with your current situation and higher pay. No job is perfect but you would need to take everything into consideration when making the choice to stay or leave. Everyone's situation is different so what some are willing to do may not be what other's are willing to do.

[Heylove, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

I am so sorry nursing is not what you envisioned. Like others have already said, you just need to find the right place for you. Did you have a good "feeling" when stepping on the units for your interviews, or during the hiring process? I firmly believe that you either feel it, or you don't.

I work adolescent psych and I honestly have never been happier going to work, even with the one-hour-each direction commute. It was my I first nursing job, straight out of nursing school, and it was also my second career. Keep in mind that I never (ever!) thought I wanted to be a nurse, even in nursing school. I thought med-surg type of nursing was the only kind of nursing that existed (silly me!) and the thought of working on a med-surg floor would make me...well...it would probably make me write posts that sound like the OPs. My coworkers are the number one reason I love going to work, and the patients are pretty awesome, too.

Have you considered psych, L&D, PP or NICU?

[Ecs268]

I would steer clear of long term care. I do long term/rehabilitation. At my particular facility, which used to be county owned and operated, non-profit, is now privately owned and for profit. Staffing and patient loads have been nothing short of ridiculous, since the take-over. They've actually resorted to recruiting workers from all over the country, especially from down south. I've never seen this sort of thing before, but this seems to be the new trend. I can't think of one person that works there that actually loves their job. Everyone is emotionally tapped-out, everyone is just there for a paycheck.

[Neats, BSN]

I think you need to step back and really ask yourself what do you want to do with this degree. Make a list of likes and dislikes. If talking to patient is enjoyable then maybe some sort of nurse educator is up your alley. You need to know yourself. Advocate for you.

Once you find out what it is then look at the nursing job descriptions keeping in mind the first 3 tasks you see you more than likely will be doing this the majority of the time (if the job description is made well).

I do not think I would give up because you have shown some nursing talent/experience. You just have not found your fit yet. You have to do your home work about what it is you really want and be honest about this do not settle. Sounds like you are not wanting stress anymore...I can think of a few nursing positions that really are stress reduction (all jobs have stress to some degree), informatics, insurance case management (most times), education, occupational health (ether with employees or patients such as a case manager) to name a few.

[40thEditionRN]

Just chiming in to say that I left a very busy floor position to take a nursing job at a university. Now, Mon through Fri has its own challenges. No more days off mid-week, and I use every weekend to cart my kids around to soccer and volleyball games, social events, etc, and catch up on all the things I couldn't do during the week.

But I get summers off, great benefits (tuition assistance, for me and my kids), low-cost healthcare, major holidays off, and three weeks paid at Christmas. College students are a great patient population, you get to do a lot of talking and education. Yes, you do a lot of run of the mill stuff like colds, but you never know what's going to walk in. Just another area to consider! They'd love your ER experience, because you do have to triage.

[bijoutRN, ADN, BSN, LPN, RN]

On 9/26/2018 at 5:01 PM, Amdecl6 said:

Yes! Pliers like from Home Depot! They were definitely stuck in the 80's as far as equipment goes. I thought I was going to need carpal tunnel surgery if I stayed much longer. Lol.

Awe man I’m in tears laughing right now! This is way sad. I was sure you were not being literal when you mentioned pliers. Oh boy! Good for you for saving yourself. Sounds horrendous!

[bijoutRN, ADN, BSN, LPN, RN]

On 10/9/2018 at 4:01 PM, Ecs268 said:

I would steer clear of long term care. I do long term/rehabilitation. At my particular facility, which used to be county owned and operated, non-profit, is now privately owned and for profit. Staffing and patient loads have been nothing short of ridiculous, since the take-over. They've actually resorted to recruiting workers from all over the country, especially from down south. I've never seen this sort of thing before, but this seems to be the new trend. I can't think of one person that works there that actually loves their job. Everyone is emotionally tapped-out, everyone is just there for a paycheck.

It’s so sad that a “paycheck” is what nursing has come to for many of us. I started feeling that way too and had to make my way out. I worked so hard for my nursing degree and license and would hate for it to be jeaporidized for a paycheck. Yes we have to make a living for ourselves but we also really have to begin reconditioning our mindsets so that we aren’t trapped in this rat race FOREVER or until we become so sick, like the patients we care for, and unable to provide/care for self &/or family. We see it too often.

Not to mention, since we won’t be able to wrk anymore, we won’t have health insurance, hence, will be cared for (or not) like crap!

There’s such a disconnect in this, it doesn’t make sense to me.

[bijoutRN, ADN, BSN, LPN, RN]

I’m not sure how some can say, “you’re not giving yourself enough time to get comfortable.” Some times you just know. Like when the water is too hot, there’s no getting use to it, you fix it by adding cold to make it more comfortable. Or the tv/music too loud, you don’t just wait and “adjust” until ur eardrums bust, you turn the volume down. Or when a pts blood glucose is 250, you administer insulin to treat and monitor.

There’s getting thru the rough patches and coping until you do then there’s just plain ol misery.

We’re gnna die some day people! If your spirit/soul doesn’t like it, don’t sit there and suffer, just to finally be forced out one way or another later on down the line. Good for you for not numbing yourself to succumb to the abuse.

Sometimes counseling helps, other times meditation, and always prayer if you’re a believer.

Best wishes. You deserve to be happier.