If people make me feel bad, I've been bullied

[Emergent]

There's so much wrong with my title. Yes, we have every right to our feelings. I feel sad, I feel bad, I am happy, I feel great!

But, to blame others for our emotional state is a cop out.

Yes, bullying does exist and can be devastating. But just because our feelings are hurt does not make us victims.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

And what evidence do you have that there are bullies on this thread? Bullies who think they are special? Or are you just imagining that there are bullies out there reading your post and thinking up dastardly ways to make you cry?

Yes, you are totally right. I'm crying right now over all the BS I've created in my head. Sike.

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

STAFF MEMO:

There are a number of posts in this thread that are bordering on personal attacks and others that clearly cross the line. Consider this due warning that if this behaviour continues, the thread will be closed.

Falling on deaf ears. This thread is now closed for a cooling-off period.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

And what evidence do you have that there are bullies on this thread? Bullies who think they are special? Or are you just imagining that there are bullies out there reading your post and thinking up dastardly ways to make you cry?

This is such a predictable response. Made me laugh.

[Emergent, RN]

This is such a predictable response. Made me laugh.

You know, Marie, I've seen a lot of derision and sarcasm in your posts on this thread. Yet, you are marching against bullies. But, your tone seems cutting from my perspective.

I think you should take the high road here. Model mature behavior. Debate your point of view without resorting to put downs or slam dunks.

[TheGooch]

Hi. I've never been accused of bullying. I tend to be self-effacing and non-aggressive in the workplace and I've actually tended to be on the receiving end in the past. It's taken me years to overcome some of my social phobias and learn to stand up for myself.

What prompted this post was a rather dramatic thread recently started here, claiming bullying on what I thought were very weak grounds. For those of us who have been socially ostracized, and perhaps bullied, it's irksome to see the term broadened to include every hurt feeling and slight under the sun.

Oh I get it now! Someone else started a thread in which they implied they were being bullied and it got you mad so you decided to start another thread to tell the the people on All Nurses how irritating it is to you that the term "bully" is so overused these days.

Your idea of "bullying" might not be someone else's idea and I find it interesting that someone who claims to have been bullied in the past would belittle other people who feel like they are being bullied.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

You know, Marie, I've seen a lot of derision and sarcasm in your posts on this thread. Yet, you are marching against bullies. But, your tone seems cutting from my perspective.

I think you should take the high road here. Model mature behavior. Debate your point of view without resorting to put downs or slam dunks.

You will see plenty of derision and sarcasm on this thread, from many other people than me. No need to single me out.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

That's all fine and dandy that you were looking out for your patients, but are you not capable of acting professionally while doing it? Perhaps it is your ego that is the problem. No points for you.

Quite capable of acting in a professional manner while looking out for my patients. But if the only way to get someone's attention and stop them from doing something that might harm my patient is to raise my voice and "yell", then that's what is appropriate (and professional to do.)

Your tone is quite caustic and your "rebuttals" have descended to personal attacks rather than reasoned answers. Are you incapable of arguing without personal attacks? Perhaps the ego that is the problem is not mine.

[TheGooch]

You will see plenty of derision and sarcasm on this thread, from many other people than me. No need to single me out.

Interesting that she is telling you to

"take the high road here. Model mature behavior. Debate your point of view without resorting to put downs or slam dunks"

When she is the one that started a thread to belittle those who feel they are being bullied.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

What on earth do you call this?

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

Quite capable of acting in a professional manner while looking out for my patients. But if the only way to get someone's attention and stop them from doing something that might harm my patient is to raise my voice and "yell", then that's what is appropriate (and professional to do.)

Your tone is quite caustic and your "rebuttals" have descended to personal attacks rather than reasoned answers. Are you incapable of arguing without personal attacks? Perhaps the ego that is the problem is not mine.

No, I've made rational statements that have been attacked by people who think it's appropriate and necessary to yell at their colleagues to meet their patient's needs.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

hu·bris

ˈ(h)yo͞obrəs/

noun

• excessive pride or self-confidence.
  [TABLE=class: vk_tbl vk_gy]
  [TR]
  [TD=class: lr_dct_nyms_ttl]synonyms:[/TD]
  [TD]arrogance, conceit, haughtiness, hauteur, pride, self-importance, egotism,pomposity, superciliousness, superiority; [/TD]
  [/TR]
  [/TABLE]
  
  
  
  
  

[nursel56]

I think there is a distinction to be made between what happens in a rapidly changing situation where I don't think a more experienced nurse should feel the need to stop and weigh whether or not he or she is going to hurt someone's feelings. I doubt it would even be possible, so that is why Ruby used the phrase "if that is the only way". You do what you need to do for the patient.

Hopefully, if someone is barked at in a tense situation they don't think immediately that this person is bullying them. In the case where there is concern there, nothing wrong with talking it out after the dust settles. If the more senior nurse notices the new person looking pale and with that deer in the headlights look and the person is otherwise coming along just fine they say, "are you OK?" or the like. Maybe I will get flamed but I honestly wonder how it is that common sense behavior got so d*** complicated.