Every time that I see Martha Stewart come up with another "good thing", it's always some preposterous, fancy, perfect, hair-brained idea that she probably thought of in the middle of the night (and of course, she had to get up to record it in her handmade journal after she made a label and a bookmark).
I swear this is true: Last week she was transplanting flowers and she put a tarp on the ground so that the grass wouldn't get "soiled" if some of the dirt spilled on it.
I'm so glad she isn't a nurse. Can you imagine her ironing her patients sheets and pillowcases? She would be in the patient rooms re-arranging flowers that were just delivered from the florist. She would make hand sewn incontinent pads, put potpourri sachets in the bedpans, make dust ruffles to hide catheter bags hanging from the bed, make hand-made "Get Well" cards and she would put a lovely hanging plant on each IV pole.
She's have her patients shampooed and trussed up like her chickens. Imagine DIY enema's "you can use the store bought varieties, but I like to make them myself....."
Starched white uniform only please and hand staarched and ironed at that. Skirt so stiff that it moves like a brass bell as you walk. Stockings - 60 denier only. low white (hand scrubbed this moring with her own recipe shoe scrub). Hair neatly tied back. Nurse cap resurrected form the 50's firmly placd on her head.
Hair neatly tied back. Nurse cap resurrected form the 50's firmly placd on her head.
Hair tied back with a scrunchie that she hand made herself don't you know....The nurses cap cleaned and starched with solvents that she made herself from things she grew in her garden! :chuckle
well truth be told if Martha Stewart was a nurse....she wouldn't have time to be Martha Stewart! NOT that she'd ever get her hands dirty anyhow....but some of this has been proven to be true by Martha Stewart the INMATE....
When I was a patient with a foley cath, I would have really really appreciated a cover for my foley bag when I had company. Just the thought of everyone seeing my urine was soooo embarrassing. So come on Martha - we need you in health care. :)
adrienurse, LPN
1,275 Posts
She's have her patients shampooed and trussed up like her chickens. Imagine DIY enema's "you can use the store bought varieties, but I like to make them myself....."