I'm not proud of it, but I feel it was justified. This nurse is a known drama queen and can't talk about anything unless it is how much harder she has things than everyone else, how everything is about "me, me ,me." She runs around like a chicken with its head cut off. Most people can't stand her, but she has ONE thing going for her: the DON thinks she hung the moon.
We were working 3-11 last night. They were already short one night shift nurse and the other one called in. Drama Queen took the call in, and started carrying on about how she "could" stay until 3 am when the other nurse was scheduled to come in, but she was not going to take the whole building herself and be responsible for all those patients.
So, I agreed to watch my hall and we could both stay until 3 am.
A little while later Drama Queen came over and told me she was getting everyone bedded down "good" and I shouldn't have any trouble out of them. I said to hold on a minute, wasn't she staying until 3AM???
She just gave me this blank look. So I reminded her that if she was going to refuse to work the whole building by herself why should I be expected to?
She stood there a minute and then said, "Ok, you got me."
Later, she came charging up to the nurses station shaking with anger and said something was going on at her house and she was so mad she couldn't stand it and could I call anyone to come in and help.
Being the pushover I am, I told her to just go home at 11.
She calmed down almost immediately.
Later, I saw her chatting with the CNA's, laughing and going out to smoke. This ran all over me and the more I thought about it the madder I got. When she came over at 10:30pm to give me report and leave I couldn't stand it anymore. I told her she had more drama in her life than a soap opera and i just KNEW she was going to muster up some reason she couldn't stay like she promised she would. Furthermore, she expects everyone else to adhere to strict standards but these standards don't apply to her (she leaves two hours early every night, in spite of saying she has too much on her and carries a heavier workload than anyone else.)
Anyway, she gets real quiet and walks away, then comes back and starts making snarky remarks about how I had no right to talk to her that way. I shot back with some remarks of my own while she kept mouthing off and that is where it ended.
You have to be kidding me!!!!! OMG!!! My BP is going up just reading your post. I have worked with people like that and, in my past experience, it never ends well.
And it always makes me wonder, WHAT in the world would make someone think they have the right to act like that?? And I do have names for these people, but most of them are four letters.
If I had been in your shoes and had taken as much flack from "Ms. Thing", I probably unloaded on her. I bet this attitude from her was not a one time thing, Why should you have to take it day after day and not be expected to dish it back up to her?!
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I had such situations as well. There is a nurse I work with that whines ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY! She will follow you and whine, block your path to whine about her side of the story and she will also become very beligerent if you don't listen to her. One day, I had enough and told her "No one cares what is wrong with you. You are hard to work with, you are a crybaby and I hate to see you walk in the door because you invade my space with the presumption that I really want to hear what you have to say". Actually, there were a few other words that should not be documented here in allnurses. The supervisor heard me, took me to the side and asked me what happened (I am normally an even tempered person) and I told her "She just kept talking". The supervisor actually laughed and walked away (we have all experienced this fool).
Hey, it is what it is. Maybe it could have been handled differently, but I'm sure that it felt good to let your drawers show for a minute.
You only told the truth- hard for some to swallow!! There seems to be a Drama Queen (DQ) at every job- those who have to leave at a moment's notice for some family "emergency"- their "kids" (ages 25, 29) need mom-- nobody else will do-- funny thing, DQs breed DQs- so there will ALWAYS be some perceived emergency/drama/situation going on!! The reason they get away w/it is b/c invariably they have management snowed-- they are usually the most negative person on the floor -- & they always HATE change & especially new hires-- but management thinks they walk on water!! Too bad management doesn't notice how much morale improves when this DQ takes a wk or 2 off!! It's a no-win situation, b/c if you talk to management about the problem, then they start breathing down YOUR neck & then they're out to get those who complain!! Plus DQ will fabricate things against the one who complains- & guess whose side management will believe?! :argue:
My burning question is why is it that the don likes her so much,while no one else,incl adon doesn't????? hhhmmmmm! I think you would give her more ammo if you apologize! I can't imagine leaving my job early,except maybe 2-3 real illness, or emergency per yr!!!!!!! do you guys tape report, do you have to do what she didn't finish? she needs more folks to tell her where the bear s----- in the buckwheat!! sue
While I agree that this nurse needed to be told her behaviour was unacceptable, yelling at her like that probably wasn't the best way to go about it. If you want respect then you have to act respectful. It's hard when your frustrated and have to deal with double standards but keeping calm and rational works a lot better than yelling and screaming. I've had to learn this the hard way....
Something else struck me about your situation with this co-worker. How can she get away with leaving early so much???? This should be a red flag to the DON?? I used to work in long-term care but now I work at a nearby hospital. To the best of my knowledge "NO ONE" could leave their shift til the next nurse came on. At the hospital they are very strict about attendance. You get docked if you leave your shift early and they have a point system. After you reach a certain point you are fired. She is obligated to her patients and to her employer. My hospital just layed nurses off. She should be glad she has a job!! It is easy to see how you could get so irritated with her. The only solution for you is to go to your DON and explain how this is getting to you and how it is affecting your work relationship with this nurse and in turn I'm sure it is spilling over onto the patients you are obligated to care for. Can you work alterate days then this nurse so you don't have to be the one deal with this? If the DON doesn't already see a problem with this nurse than possibly she needs some classes on her role as leader. I am so glad I work at the hospital. We do self scheduling aside of our weekend. So if there is someone I don't particually want to work with I can just schedule myself on opposite days. Good Luck!!
The DON has been there since the 1960's and has no reservations about berating you in front of whomever. If the mood hits her and you happen to be in the way, watch out.
I have been flogged and embarrassed in front of all kinds of people, the other day I was in the dining room and she came up there and laid into me because the medicine room door had been propped open and there was no one back there. I did not open the door. I didn't know the door had been left open, but I happened to be the first one she could get to.
i'm talking about at least a generational difference in age.
i don't care if these elders are obnoxious or disrespectful.
i still bow to an-always-not-so-obvious wisdom that comes w/living so long.
as for the remainder of the population, it's fair game.
but even when/if i'm disrespected, i choose to take the high road and remain respectful to extent possible.
leslie
This is exactly why I do not try to argue with or even question the DON, who is in her 70's and has seen much more in her life than I have.
Because of the shift I work I'm often the only RN in the building but we have many retired LPN's who come to work here and there just to help out on the small unit. They are scheduled to leave early (and yes, Drama Queen has criticized them for leaving at 9pm even though that is when they are scheduled to leave, she is not). Anyway, one night the CNA's on my hall had not had a break all evening and had just gone out to smoke. The older LPN called me and said to send one of my "girls" over to help someone to bed. I said, okay, they went out to smoke but I'll go tell them. She told me putting someone to bed was more important than smoking right now.
While I agree that this nurse needed to be told her behaviour was unacceptable, yelling at her like that probably wasn't the best way to go about it. If you want respect then you have to act respectful. It's hard when your frustrated and have to deal with double standards but keeping calm and rational works a lot better than yelling and screaming. I've had to learn this the hard way....
Yea, but it's so easy to say and hard to do, especially in light of the scenes she has caused. I overheard one CNA tell another one that if they treated people the way she did they would be afraid to walk to their car at night.
It was just a small dose of some of her own medicine and she couldn't take it.
It was just a small dose of some of her own medicine and she couldn't take it.
Two wrongs don't make a right. You lose some of your credibility when you behave the same way, While it may be a gut reaction, while it may bring temporary satisfaction to you, it still doesn't mean you did and said the right thing and that is was justified yelling. You haven't solved a thing between the two of you, just escalated it.
Two wrongs don't make a right. You lose some of your credibility when you behave the same way, While it may be a gut reaction, while it may bring temporary satisfaction to you, it still doesn't mean you did and said the right thing and that is was justified yelling. You haven't solved a thing between the two of you, just escalated it.
That's true. You're right about that.
In retrospect, I would not have gone about it the way I did, but hindsight is perfect. I wrote the ADON a letter about what happened. I did not apologize but I admitted I should not have lashed out this way. I said I was concerned for this person because if she truly believed what she told everyone else her thought processes were severely impaired.
Of course, I didn't need to say that because it is well known among everyone there.
I think it is called Histrionic Personality Disorder. I wasn't right to lower myself to her level, but I don't claim to be flawless, either.
sissiesmama, ASN, RN
1,899 Posts
Motorcycle mama -
You have to be kidding me!!!!! OMG!!! My BP is going up just reading your post. I have worked with people like that and, in my past experience, it never ends well.
And it always makes me wonder, WHAT in the world would make someone think they have the right to act like that?? And I do have names for these people, but most of them are four letters.
If I had been in your shoes and had taken as much flack from "Ms. Thing", I probably unloaded on her. I bet this attitude from her was not a one time thing, Why should you have to take it day after day and not be expected to dish it back up to her?!
Anne, RNC