I'm not proud of it, but I feel it was justified. This nurse is a known drama queen and can't talk about anything unless it is how much harder she has things than everyone else, how everything is about "me, me ,me." She runs around like a chicken with its head cut off. Most people can't stand her, but she has ONE thing going for her: the DON thinks she hung the moon.
We were working 3-11 last night. They were already short one night shift nurse and the other one called in. Drama Queen took the call in, and started carrying on about how she "could" stay until 3 am when the other nurse was scheduled to come in, but she was not going to take the whole building herself and be responsible for all those patients.
So, I agreed to watch my hall and we could both stay until 3 am.
A little while later Drama Queen came over and told me she was getting everyone bedded down "good" and I shouldn't have any trouble out of them. I said to hold on a minute, wasn't she staying until 3AM???
She just gave me this blank look. So I reminded her that if she was going to refuse to work the whole building by herself why should I be expected to?
She stood there a minute and then said, "Ok, you got me."
Later, she came charging up to the nurses station shaking with anger and said something was going on at her house and she was so mad she couldn't stand it and could I call anyone to come in and help.
Being the pushover I am, I told her to just go home at 11.
She calmed down almost immediately.
Later, I saw her chatting with the CNA's, laughing and going out to smoke. This ran all over me and the more I thought about it the madder I got. When she came over at 10:30pm to give me report and leave I couldn't stand it anymore. I told her she had more drama in her life than a soap opera and i just KNEW she was going to muster up some reason she couldn't stay like she promised she would. Furthermore, she expects everyone else to adhere to strict standards but these standards don't apply to her (she leaves two hours early every night, in spite of saying she has too much on her and carries a heavier workload than anyone else.)
Anyway, she gets real quiet and walks away, then comes back and starts making snarky remarks about how I had no right to talk to her that way. I shot back with some remarks of my own while she kept mouthing off and that is where it ended.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
no matter what else is going on, the moment you yell, name call or otherwise lose you're temper, you're in the wrong. automatically and without fail.
that said, i probably wouldn't have been very nice, either, and might have told her off as well. and then i probably would have written up an incident report (because it was too late at night to call the manager at home) detailing the situation and left it for my manager to find first thing. because no matter what else is going on, the person who gets to the manager with their side of the story first is in the right.
But to the OP, probably not the most professional, but your response was I think a natural response for anyone in your position. Hopefully the drama queen got the message and doesn't turn into miss tattle-tail.
someone said i shouldn't make it personal but that is kind of hard. it is personal.
no, it's not personal.
she has a new and more compelling reason every night that she needs to leave two or more hours early and in the same breath she will criticize others and say they need to finish their shift. this is no lie. the hypocrisy is that blatant.
and this is why it's not personal, but professional.
her expectations of others, as well as her own personal crises, are affecting the professional roles/duties of nursing.
listen, we all have drama in our lives.
but to let it continuously excuse us from optimal performance while hypocritically demanding others to do their part, is shabby and inexcusable.
and she needs to be called on this.
needn't involve yelling or emotion, but merely stating the facts as they are.
Frustration gets to all of us and you had every right to be upset. I have had to take more than a few deep breaths and remind myself to keep it professional.
If she consistently leaves two or more hrs. early practically every night, isn't there a way of bypassing the DON & letting the main company that owns the facility know about her shenanigans?
Then, perhaps the company will check into her hrs. versus payroll hrs.?
(She's very likely fudging on it; her type is notorious for that.)
Maybe you could make a good ol' anonymous call or send an anonymous typed letter to the company?
Sounds like a very unproductive confrontation, although a natural and understandable one. If you're going to have to work with this person often, you should learn how to have more effective communication. Good luck.
i don't get it? what does being young and living at home compared to being married and having bills have to do with good patient care? whether you liked it or not she was the one with the degree and therefore (while not a better or more experienced person than you) she was still your superior at work.
i had a similar situation while working as a newly hired lpn at an unionized county ltc facility.
many of the aides there thought they were suppose to *run the nurses* because they had been working at this county facility for 10, 15, 20, &/or more years. they would do & say all sort to knock nurses off their footing; particularly, newly hired, newly graduated, & timid nurses. god help ya if you were young, let alone, if you *looked* young...like i did then...or were timid & didn't wanna *rock the boat*.
many aides there would test you & would run all over you if they felt that they didn't need to respect you as the floor or charge nurse. many could care less that you as the nurse is responsible for running the floor. many would pull the ole..."you've been her for only a minute & think you're going to tell us what to do..." crap. they could care less that you got a license on the line...all they cared about was..."there they go again - pushing that med cart down the hall instead of helping us do...!" they would do thing like wait until you start a med pass to bring to your attention about change a flange/waffer on a stoma. they would do things like that to try to disrupt the med pass. they know not to disturb the nurses during med pass, but would do so anyway out of spike.
they all got there breaks & then some (those who always run out for a smoke...go visit other aides on other units...etc). i remember this one night where a few aides thought they were going to have the night off cause i floated to their unit. at the beginning of the shift, i gave all report & told them who needed vital signs & fluids over the course of the night. well...the two working the right hallway thought they were going to pull the wool over my eyes by taking in linen & minutes later...bring-out linen to put into the hall hampers. the problem was that while i was doing my first med pass, i noticed there was no odor emulating from the hall hampers. i then went down the left hallway & those two aides were also busy with actively going into/out of rooms with linen...but the difference was i could smell the stench of urine & poop. i knew right there the other two were trying to get out of working...so i continued to observe them for the rest of the night. while one sat asleep in the chair most of the night, the other simply disappeared altogether (& for hours). again, the morning came & i was noting that no fluids were given & suspected the vitals were fudged. i retook those vitals on the right hallway my self & found significant differences...particularly with the bps & resp. i purposely waited until the end of the morning med pass to go behind those aides only to find *all*& of their patients on the right hallway were found laying in fully soaked/soiled beds! i gave them ample time to *do the right thing* as i made warning comments while going down the hallway. they actually thought they didn't have to do their work & i'm not supposed to call them out on it. i said nothing more to them except to get report of how much fluids were given...they again fudged those figures as well. i know they never gave any of those patients water cause i checked their water pitchers myself through-out the night. i then promptly reported them to the house supervisor & they both were written-up! their union tried to fight the write-ups, but they didn't have a leg to stand on. these aides only defense was that i was harassing them all night & that i was there (at the facility) for only a minute & had no right to spy on them! needless to say...that didn't fly with administration! once it got around that i wouldn't tolerate insubordination, a lot of that crap stopped.
all this to say...yes, i do agree that one has to give respect if they want respect, but some will test your authority & not give any respect for the position held due to age/experience. many young/newly hired/timid nurses do have it hard as they're often taken advantage of.
her attitude was outrageouse, and i dont remember what it was she yelled at me for, something trivial though---she had not exp life yet, that was the point, yes she graduated school and passed her boards, but she was clueless in the everyday world. it was not a patient care arguement, it was something like why are you not stocking shelves now vs passing ice water,(and it was not those exact words)and it did include an eye roll and a gasp.. i honestly dont remember the exact situtation, but it was her tone that i had a problem with, not her request.
there is a big difference in being a boss and being "bossy"
attitude is one thing....her living conditions & life status (age & responsibilities) is another thing . judging her on her age & who/what she's responsible in life sound like a personal problem at best & sour grapes at worst in my opinion ~ sorry.
you have every right to demand respect for yourself as a human being, but do be careful that you're not putting yourself in a sticky age discrimination situation. if you're going to require one person to call you by a certain tile...mrs so 'n so...then everyone had better be aware of that criteria or you might find yourself in a sling.
"i'm not proud of it, but i feel it was justified...."
yup...you *were* definitely justified to straighten this "drama queen" out !
the only thing i might've done differently was to pull her over to the side instead of confronting her in front of the other nursing staff. i probably would've wanted that must respect ( even though this person obviously doesn't know the meaning of respect). i wouldn't have let her pull me down to her drama level.
i wouldn't worry about the don pulling you to the side...she knows that there really isn't anything to discipline you over except for may be the lack of professionalism in calling her pet out in front of the nursing staff...oh well .
I don't get it? What does being young and living at home compared to being married and having bills have to do with good patient care? Whether you liked it or not she was the one with the degree and therefore (while not a better or more experienced person than you) she was still your superior at work.
:yeahthat: Thank you.
I'm 28, married, no kids (but I have 2 cats), I own a home that we paid for outright, we own 2 cars (1 we make payments on), and I have no debt. I don't expect younger, more experienced RNs to treat me differently because I have more "life" experience.
I'm all down for "respecting my elders," but I personally believe respect is a 2-way street -- regardless of what you own, have, do, etc. Should I expect all CNAs to call me Ms. ranaazha or RN ranaazha? No. I am wise enough to know that some older CNAs deserve respect and come from a background where this respect is expected, though they keep quiet about it. There is 1 in particular who I call Miss (first name) because I'm wise enough to know this will foster a better work environment.
It's not realistic to expect everyone to view life through your eyes. You can ask them to do so, but expecting it is a whole different thing altogether.
i had a similar situation while working as a newly hired lpn at an unionized county ltc facility.
many of the aides there thought they were suppose to *run the nurses* because they had been working at this county facility for 10, 15, 20, &/or more years. they would do & say all sort to knock nurses off their footing; particularly, newly hired, newly graduated, & timid nurses. god help ya if you were young, let alone, if you *looked* young...like i did then...or were timid & didn't wanna *rock the boat*.
many aides there would test you & would run all over you if they felt that they didn't need to respect you as the floor or charge nurse. many could care less that you as the nurse is responsible for running the floor. many would pull the ole..."you've been her for only a minute & think you're going to tell us what to do..." crap. they could care less that you got a license on the line...all they cared about was..."there they go again - pushing that med cart down the hall instead of helping us do...!" they would do thing like wait until you start a med pass to bring to your attention about change a flange/waffer on a stoma. they would do things like that to try to disrupt the med pass. they know not to disturb the nurses during med pass, but would do so anyway out of spike.
they all got there breaks & then some (those who always run out for a smoke...go visit other aides on other units...etc). i remember this one night where a few aides thought they were going to have the night off cause i floated to their unit. at the beginning of the shift, i gave all report & told them who needed vital signs & fluids over the course of the night. well...the two working the right hallway thought they were going to pull the wool over my eyes by taking in linen & minutes later...bring-out linen to put into the hall hampers. the problem was that while i was doing my first med pass, i noticed there was no odor emulating from the hall hampers. i then went down the left hallway & those two aides were also busy with actively going into/out of rooms with linen...but the difference was i could smell the stench of urine & poop. i knew right there the other two were trying to get out of working...so i continued to observe them for the rest of the night. while one sat asleep in the chair most of the night, the other simply disappeared altogether (& for hours). again, the morning came & i was noting that no fluids were given & suspected the vitals were fudged. i retook those vitals on the right hallway my self & found significant differences...particularly with the bps & resp. i purposely waited until the end of the morning med pass to go behind those aides only to find *all*& of their patients on the right hallway were found laying in fully soaked/soiled beds! i gave them ample time to *do the right thing* as i made warning comments while going down the hallway. they actually thought they didn't have to do their work & i'm not supposed to call them out on it. i said nothing more to them except to get report of how much fluids were given...they again fudged those figures as well. i know they never gave any of those patients water cause i checked their water pitchers myself through-out the night. i then promptly reported them to the house supervisor & they both were written-up! their union tried to fight the write-ups, but they didn't have a leg to stand on. these aides only defense was that i was harassing them all night & that i was there (at the facility) for only a minute & had no right to spy on them! needless to say...that didn't fly with administration! once it got around that i wouldn't tolerate insubordination, a lot of that crap stopped.
all this to say...yes, i do agree that one has to give respect if they want respect, but some will test your authority & not give any respect for the position held due to age/experience. many young/newly hired/timid nurses do have it hard as they're often taken advantage of.
cheers :cheers:,
moe
i am so thankful for nurses like you! i work on a unit where we get a lot of nursing home patients who are in an awful mess -- dehydrated, pressure ulcers, utis -- the whole nine yards. it just breaks my heart to think of the awful care these people received prior to entering our hospital, and then we have just a few days to try and clean up the mess. it's nurses like you who help to prevent these patients/residents from needing acute/hospital care.
If she consistently leaves two or more hrs. early practically every night, isn't there a way of bypassing the DON & letting the main company that owns the facility know about her shenanigans?
Then, perhaps the company will check into her hrs. versus payroll hrs.?
(She's very likely fudging on it; her type is notorious for that.)
Maybe you could make a good ol' anonymous call or send an anonymous typed letter to the company?
Had almost the situation happen at my hospital. We had a new nurse in my dept. He had just passed his boards and this was his first position. But EVERY night he had some excuse for why he had to leave early. The wife, the kid, the grandpa, the dog.. He also was pet to the DON. She always covered his excuses. Finally I went to admin. They knew nothing about his always leaving early since he has being paid for 72 hours every pay period. We clocked in & out via computer and his hours were accounted for. After an investigation, it came out the DON had been clocking him out every night.
Seems during nursing school he had worked at the bar she and her husband owned in the next county. They had loaned him money to attend school and he was still paying them back by working for free every night!!!
You never know why some people are willing to go the lengths they do to cover for an employee. Both were terminated!:imbar
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
no matter what else is going on, the moment you yell, name call or otherwise lose you're temper, you're in the wrong. automatically and without fail.
that said, i probably wouldn't have been very nice, either, and might have told her off as well. and then i probably would have written up an incident report (because it was too late at night to call the manager at home) detailing the situation and left it for my manager to find first thing. because no matter what else is going on, the person who gets to the manager with their side of the story first is in the right.