No, I never would assault anybody! Especially not a co-worker! I am not that type of person.
A little about me: I am very laid-back and easy going. I get along with everybody! I jump to help people anytime I can. If I see someone struggling, I offer assistance. I do not sit at the nurse's station playing on my cell phone when there is work that needs done.
Anyway, for the past few weeks, one of my co-workers has been "picking" at me in very subtle ways here and there. But yesterday morning, she acted like a childish brat. And I let her. I didn't acknowledge her behavior because I was busy, I am nonconfrontational and I did not want to get into a shouting match at the nurse's station. She was sitting at the desk with a chart open, I don't know if she was looking through a chart, or writing something. I think she was looking through it. Anyway, the top cover of the chart was lying on top of the mouse and part of the chart was covering the keyboard. She was not on the computer. I needed to log onto the computer to look up some labwork for a patient. I thought I approached her nicely and asked her if I could gain access to the computer for a moment. SHE DID NOT MOVE. AND I KNOW SHE HEARD ME. There was nobody seated beside her, so there was no reason that she could not physically move the chart six inches out of my way. Since she didn't move, I reached under the chart and took the mouse, and gently moved the chart myself so I could gain access to the key board so I could look up my labs. After I put in my passwords and finally was able to gain access, she informs me that the computer across the way is capable of providing me the information I need. I thanked her for the information, because I did not know that.
I finished my work on the computer, which took me three minutes or less. But inside I was fuming. I have been upset this whole weekend because I allowed her to treat me this way. I have always valued and respected this person as a nurse. When I first started here, I was amazed at the report she gave. Thorough, knows her patients, very smart, knows her business. A wonderful nurse. But I no longer have respect for her as a person.
I cannot understand why she would treat me like this. The next time she behaves like this towards me, I WILL pull her aside and ask her what her problem is towards me and how we can squash it. But she will not treat me (or anyone else) like this. Honestly, I do not have time for people like this and I do not have time to feel uncomfortable in the workplace.
I must admit I am afraid if I say something, it will make waves and make things even more uncomfortable for me. I'm afraid she will refuse to witness insulin with me and refuse to witness narcotic wastes with me. If she's childish enough to refuse to move six inches so I can gain access to a computer, she's probably childish enough to do that. She has alot of seniority in the work place over me. I have only been there about 6 months. This workplace is a newer environment for me, and I know she has way more critical care experience than I do. I don't go to work to make friends, but if I make friends at work...it's all good. She probably has friends here. I do not want to talk about her behind her back; I need to tell her to her face that her attitude towards me lately is insulting. And she acted like a brat that day.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
OP this happened to me once. I said to the secretary "excuse me" there was no 'distractions' she heard me. I wanted her to move her cup. I was RIGHT next to her and we were the only 2 there at the time. I waited and she didn't move it. I politely moved the cup and she blew up on me! Told me not to touch her stuff and moved the cup right back to where it was. Talk about wanting to throat punch somebody! I avoided her ever since that day. Apparently she's like that and ppl stay out of her way. I would just be polite no matter what she does. Sometimes it kills the tension and sometimes it doesn't. But don't change your ways because of her.
I don't understand all this angst about moving a danged cup, nor do I understand the certainty that "she heard me." I don't know the age of your co-worker or the OP's, but as I'm getting older I've found that I don't always hear and/or understand what folks are saying. At work, unless I'm looking at you, I'm probably not paying attention. I could be reading a chart, thinking about something, trying to decipher the OR schedule or any one of a number of other things that have nothing to do with you . . . and even if YOU'RE the only person standing there, unless I look up and confirm that, I still don't know you're talking to me. There are so many conversations going on around me that have nothing to do with me, I've learned how to tune them out.
Also as I get older, I find it difficult to distinguish accents, mumbling and high and low tones. Neither you nor the OP can be sure that your coworker heard and understood you. And since you cannot be sure without verifying it with them, I'm not sure why all the anger. In both cases, I think the one with the problem is the person who is so bent out of shape over moving something six inches that they want to "throat punch" someone.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Read "The Stand" when I was 13. It scared the HELL out of me. The movie, not even close to living up to the book. "It" I hated cause I hate clowns. I loved reading "Pet Semetary"........did it in one night, alone and was spooked all night long.
I don't understand all this angst about moving a danged cup, nor do I understand the certainty that "she heard me." I don't know the age of your co-worker or the OP's, but as I'm getting older I've found that I don't always hear and/or understand what folks are saying. At work, unless I'm looking at you, I'm probably not paying attention. I could be reading a chart, thinking about something, trying to decipher the OR schedule or any one of a number of other things that have nothing to do with you . . . and even if YOU'RE the only person standing there, unless I look up and confirm that, I still don't know you're talking to me. There are so many conversations going on around me that have nothing to do with me, I've learned how to tune them out.
Also as I get older, I find it difficult to distinguish accents, mumbling and high and low tones. Neither you nor the OP can be sure that your coworker heard and understood you. And since you cannot be sure without verifying it with them, I'm not sure why all the anger. In both cases, I think the one with the problem is the person who is so bent out of shape over moving something six inches that they want to "throat punch" someone.
I don't know Ruby. Normally I'm all over people who get offended by the least little thing and start yelling "NETY" and "bullying" but there's something about this situation that rings differently. My sense is that the person who was encroaching on the computer space knew very well what she was doing and was being really passive aggressive about it (hence the radiating negativity). If I was at a desk and someone sat down in the workspace next to me I'd automatically move my stuff over to give them room, it's common courtesy, and no matter how focused I am I know when someone is near me. Also, the OP admitted she was overreacting in her second post (which shows a certain degree of self-reflection) but who among us hasn't had someone push our buttons? I know in my years in this job I've had my share of "throat-punching" moments, at least in my mind. The remainder of the OP responses have been reasonable considering the flack she's gotten for her user name and she hasn't resorted to calling us mean and "biter" nurses despite it. I think this was just simply a rant and we should cut her some slack.
This is why I don't talk very much with co-workers and when I do, I leave emotion out of it. I see my job as a war zone and I have to survive so I go about my day very strategically. I try to diffuse potential issues and if I can get around conflicts I do. I do this for my own benefit. If someone yells at me, I tell them politely that it is not necessary. If they need something from me, all they have to do in a proper tone is ask. If they keep ranting I walk away or don't say more. Some people just love conflicts and there is too much BS in a 12 hour shift that goes on to put up with co-workers bs. Save yourself and get away from the conflict if at all possible.
OH! And another thing: I am NOT "contantly offended." In fact, I am rarely offended. I do not want to be labeled an easy target who will not fight back, therefore giving certain people a tendency to -dare I say it- BULLY me.
I just cannot seem to understand why this woman would not move six inches away from the cockadoodee computer! If I were in that position, I would have moved STAT. But I guess some people are stubborn. I try to treat others how I would want to be treated. I try to anticipate the needs of the next shift and do as much as I can to help them out. And they appreciate it. I appreciate it when they treat me the same. I have never disrespected this person, and I do not understand why she would disrespect me.
I realize as I re-read this thread where I can see that I may look like the dirty bird. But seriously, it was different in person. I am not psychic, but I can feel negative energy radiating from people. And I can feel it radiating from this woman. And I want to ask her what I can do to help her tolerate me in a more productive manner.
You still didn't answer if there were other computers and if so why you went by where she was sitting if you were getting "negative" energy coming off her. Perhaps you were trying to initiate a confrontation with her by invading her body space? I for instance have my preferred spot at the nurses station where I can use a main computer and not drag a COW around too much of a hassle.
Even if you say you are not violent, but merely enjoy the fantasy; I would find other things to fantasize about. Happy, positive things for instance! I work with a very good coworker, friendly, popular, well liked who has said some things that make me look at her differently. One time she was mad about someone who had badmouthed her and threatened to kick her in the throat if she found her in an alley. Totally unexpected response to hear that coming out of her mouth. Other comments were about using chickens in reference to voodoo, didn't know if she was joking or not, but it didn't reflect positively that is for sure! Your title brought those memories right back to me, maybe you are that same person. lol
Please google Stephen King's movie MISERY trailer. Great movie! The main character is played by Kathy Bates. The main character is a crazy nurse named Annie Wilkes. Better yet, watch the whole movie! It is great!
The title of this thread should read, "MY CO-WORKER IS A DIRTY BIRDIE"
My question is why do you identify with a crazy violent nurse and have her as your user name? I guess that is why you admit to having violent fantasies? Are you also into voodoo like the person you reminded me of? lol
Erm... You know Misery came out like 100 years ago, right?
The book is waaaay better! The only movie I ever thought was better than the book was "The Shining". That movie scared the beejesus out of me. I still occasionally have nightmares about it. It takes a lot to scare me.
The book is waaaay better! The only movie I ever thought was better than the book was "The Shining". That movie scared the beejesus out of me. I still occasionally have nightmares about it. It takes a lot to scare me.
As a funny aside Y & R has a current story line of one character Neil who has been fantasizing about getting revenge on his ex-wife Hillary and has now crossed the line and abducted her and is holding her hostage. Granted not the same thing and just a ruse to cover for the star's maternity leave, but it shows how fantasies can go awry! lol
PS A better use of your time is creative visualization with positive fantasies/imaginings of a great vacation or something else you want to enjoy. lol
Let these happy fantasies be your guide to getting what you really want in life! Why waste time on negative fantasies. Life is too short for that!
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
I don't understand all this angst about moving a danged cup, nor do I understand the certainty that "she heard me." I don't know the age of your co-worker or the OP's, but as I'm getting older I've found that I don't always hear and/or understand what folks are saying. At work, unless I'm looking at you, I'm probably not paying attention. I could be reading a chart, thinking about something, trying to decipher the OR schedule or any one of a number of other things that have nothing to do with you . . . and even if YOU'RE the only person standing there, unless I look up and confirm that, I still don't know you're talking to me. There are so many conversations going on around me that have nothing to do with me, I've learned how to tune them out.
Also as I get older, I find it difficult to distinguish accents, mumbling and high and low tones. Neither you nor the OP can be sure that your coworker heard and understood you. And since you cannot be sure without verifying it with them, I'm not sure why all the anger. In both cases, I think the one with the problem is the person who is so bent out of shape over moving something six inches that they want to "throat punch" someone.