I want to apologize to my instructor. Please help me.

Updated | Posted
by porscheXN porscheXN (New) New Student

how-to-apologize-to-instructor.jpg.738862fbae9dbcdc8a35e49145fcc71d.jpg

Today, we had a lecture with a faculty instructor. I raised my voice in the online classroom; I spoke furiously and reactively to answer a question the instructor asked. 15 minutes passed and my teacher's voice started to tremble. She was crying and trying to hide it. At the online session, we can’t see her, but we can hear her voice. I am feeling very bad inside for four hours and I don't know what to do. Yes, I know, it was because of me, because no one talked after me.

I am 35 years old. My classmen (70 students) are young, they are between 19-23 years old. Our instructor is 25-30 years old.

Last weekend, I had to complete homework; one complex nursing care plan, and one Teaching in the Nursing project. Our professors said that half of our final grades gonna come from these assignments. I have been stressed. I am 27 hours sleepless now. And I took a pill, so I could stay awake.

That’s why I am feeling very terrible today.

How to make her happy, calm, cheerful?

 I was disrespectful to my classmates as well with that behavior. Will, they cast out me?

I know only her e-mail address and I explained my situation and apologized to her by sending an e-mail.

What should I do? I don’t want to make people sad.

chare

3,503 Posts

If all you have is an e-mail address, you've done about all that you can do.  The only other thing you could do, especially as you feel you've also disrespected your classmates, would be to make a public apology to everyone at the beginning of the next online session.

Best wishes.

Edited by chare
Spelling

cameron5575

cameron5575, BSN, RN

Has 1 years experience. 47 Posts

As stated above, a very sincere apology through email sounds to be about the only thing you can do. Seeing as you already wrote it, I can’t offer advice on points you could have/should have included. Hopefully it was sincere and brings some peace of mind to the instructor.

Also, sleep deprivation is a beast. I’m not going to judge you for staying awake 27 hours and taking a pill to do so because I have no idea what might be going on in your life that is so extreme that you felt the need to do so. However, I say this with your best interest in mind: please don’t do that again. You only leave yourself vulnerable to make mistakes that could end up hurting yourself (physically) and others as has already been the case.

Don’t beat yourself up too hard about this. Everyone says things that they regret sometimes and that hurts others. Self reflection is probably in order to determine if you you need to adjust the way you speak to others and handle irritation as well as how you can better manage your time to get the needed rest. The most important thing is that you now try harder to be a respectful person (edit: not that you aren’t under normal circumstances - I simply mean to continue to be respectful and more so if possible) and avoid future incidents like these.

Edited by cameron5575
Clarifying a point

CommunityRNBSN

CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Community health. Has 4 years experience. 815 Posts

I agree with the idea of making a quick apology to the class. Perhaps in a chat box rather than on video/audio. You do not need to talk on and on about it— you could say something like “Hi everyone. I realize that last Tuesday I was disrespectful when I started talking about XYZ. I was having a tough day and I took it out on all of you / on our teacher. I’m sorry. It will not happen again.”  Then move on, no need to address it again. Just do better in future. 

StudentRegisteredNurseofAnesthesia

StudentRegisteredNurseofAnesthesia

Specializes in Student Nurse of Anesthesiology. Has 6 years experience. 31 Posts

I'm curious to know what question got you so fired up? And why would your teacher cry? As for your cohort, I wouldn't worry about that. You've done all you can do by apologizing to your teacher. Hopefully, she understands and forgets about it. Otherwise, it could be a long semester for you. 

jeanbeth

jeanbeth, MSN, DNP, RN

Specializes in Gerontology, Education. Has 10 years experience. 66 Posts

16 hours ago, CommunityRNBSN said:

I agree with the idea of making a quick apology to the class. Perhaps in a chat box rather than on video/audio. You do not need to talk on and on about it— you could say something like “Hi everyone. I realize that last Tuesday I was disrespectful when I started talking about XYZ. I was having a tough day and I took it out on all of you / on our teacher. I’m sorry. It will not happen again.”  Then move on, no need to address it again. Just do better in future. 

I am an instructor in a nursing school and a verbal attack in class happened to me. The student quickly sent me an email of apology, which I appreciated. However, the class seemed to continue to shun the student (no responses to her questions/comments in online class - this silence is normally a very rare occurrence). She eventually said something in class similar to what you describe, CommunityRNBSN, and the class expressed appreciation for her apology as well. All is forgiven now and we are a team again.

Michelle Fornaro, PhD, RN, NP

Specializes in NP, Education, Research. Has 35 years experience. 6 Posts

On 1/4/2021 at 7:14 AM, porscheXN said:

how-to-apologize-to-instructor.jpg.738862fbae9dbcdc8a35e49145fcc71d.jpg

Today, we had a lecture with a faculty instructor. I raised my voice in the online classroom; I spoke furiously and reactively to answer a question the instructor asked. 15 minutes passed and my teacher's voice started to tremble. She was crying and trying to hide it. At the online session, we can’t see her, but we can hear her voice. I am feeling very bad inside for four hours and I don't know what to do. Yes, I know, it was because of me, because no one talked after me.

I am 35 years old. My classmen (70 students) are young, they are between 19-23 years old. Our instructor is 25-30 years old.

Last weekend, I had to complete homework; one complex nursing care plan, and one Teaching in the Nursing project. Our professors said that half of our final grades gonna come from these assignments. I have been stressed. I am 27 hours sleepless now. And I took a pill, so I could stay awake.

That’s why I am feeling very terrible today.

How to make her happy, calm, cheerful?

 I was disrespectful to my classmates as well with that behavior. Will, they cast out me?

I know only her e-mail address and I explained my situation and apologized to her by sending an e-mail.

What should I do? I don’t want to make people sad.

In my opinion, and for your own benefit, you should make an appointment with the school counselor to discuss what’s going on with you mental health wise. I certainly can’t diagnose you at all, but I have seen other people exhibit similar symptoms who turned out to have some very treatable conditions such as bipolar disorder, PTSD, Anxiety disorder, substance abuse and/or thyroid disorders. Take care of yourself first and foremost, because you can’t make anyone else well if you yourself aren’t well. 
 

Michelle Fornaro, PhD, RN, NP

Specializes in NP, Education, Research. Has 35 years experience. 6 Posts

On 1/6/2021 at 8:25 PM, CommunityRNBSN said:

I agree with the idea of making a quick apology to the class. Perhaps in a chat box rather than on video/audio. You do not need to talk on and on about it— you could say something like “Hi everyone. I realize that last Tuesday I was disrespectful when I started talking about XYZ. I was having a tough day and I took it out on all of you / on our teacher. I’m sorry. It will not happen again.”  Then move on, no need to address it again. Just do better in future. 

I personally don’t recommend doing that.  However, if you do decide to make some big announcement Id leave the part about taking a pill out. 

Guest856929

Guest856929

486 Posts

On 1/4/2021 at 6:14 AM, porscheXN said:

how-to-apologize-to-instructor.jpg.738862fbae9dbcdc8a35e49145fcc71d.jpg

Today, we had a lecture with a faculty instructor. I raised my voice in the online classroom; I spoke furiously and reactively to answer a question the instructor asked. 15 minutes passed and my teacher's voice started to tremble. She was crying and trying to hide it. At the online session, we can’t see her, but we can hear her voice. I am feeling very bad inside for four hours and I don't know what to do. Yes, I know, it was because of me, because no one talked after me.

I am 35 years old. My classmen (70 students) are young, they are between 19-23 years old. Our instructor is 25-30 years old.

Last weekend, I had to complete homework; one complex nursing care plan, and one Teaching in the Nursing project. Our professors said that half of our final grades gonna come from these assignments. I have been stressed. I am 27 hours sleepless now. And I took a pill, so I could stay awake.

That’s why I am feeling very terrible today.

How to make her happy, calm, cheerful?

 I was disrespectful to my classmates as well with that behavior. Will, they cast out me?

I know only her e-mail address and I explained my situation and apologized to her by sending an e-mail.

What should I do? I don’t want to make people sad.

Suffice to say the email apology should appropriate and adequate for now. More importantly, you need to know when to shut up, when to listen (most important) and when to speak. And only speak if you have something important to say in class. You’re the oldest one. As such, lead by example. 

Guest856929

Guest856929

486 Posts

5 hours ago, Michelle Fornaro said:

I personally don’t recommend doing that.  However, if you do decide to make some big announcement Id leave the part about taking a pill out. 

I echo your sentiments in totality. 

AlwaysLearning247

AlwaysLearning247, BSN

Has 7 years experience. 390 Posts

Stuff happens sometimes, I see that you're feeling bad. It is good you wrote her an apology email, I would definitely leave out the part about taking a pill to stay awake. I just wouldn't let it happen again, learning is stressful, and it's even worse when things are tense. Hope you feel better soon and the rest of the semester goes by quickly.

londonflo

londonflo

Specializes in oncology. Has 45 years experience. 2,030 Posts

5 hours ago, AlwaysLearning247 said:

I see that you're feeling bad. It is good you wrote her an apology email,

You are a rare breed to take to heart your insight into your behavior in class. You have apologized, and as others have recommended do a short "I am sorry fellow students" and realize sometimes we are human. 

Short story ... I promise... "I had a student lie to me about a CBI. I felt bad I had not oriented her to it ...thought the staff nurse did (no excuse). The next day I was off, sitting in my backyard, contemplating what to do and she called. She worked at a local bank, (I knew that) that I went into all the time.

Quote

It was the early days of eBay when people paid by personal check (no paypal) and since I was sucessful with my selling, I always had a fistful of checks.The tellers probably hated to wait on me.

I guess she confessed (must have been on her mind -- it was the next day) to someone at the bank and this teller knew me and recommended she 'fess up. She called and did. We talked for quite a while, and she progressed and graduated and is very successful. 

If I was to really remember all the snide comments, thinly veiled sarcasm that came my way, I would have left teaching. Stress makes everything harder.