Day 1: OMG! I just took the NCLEX today and I think I failed. I’m only here for reassurance from strangers so that I feel good. What’s an easy way of finding out my results? I’ve heard about trying the website with a credit card thing and if it doesn’t accept it, I passed, but I’m not sure. Please give me feedback. I’ve been stressing and praying for the last 2 weeks since I took it. I have a job pending in the CVICU. I hear nurses their eat they’re young. NETY anyone? Oh! I’ve read the most recent evidence-based literature on it and I’m wright on this. If you disagree with my POV you’re just old, jealous, and stuck in your ways. If you correct my perfect grandma, punctuation, incongruence, anachronism, or incoherence, I will conveniently get outraged and cancel you for being an ignorant and bigoted Neanderthal.
2 days later: OMG I passed. I only had 65 questions. The NCLEX ought to be made harder. I can’t believe I went to school for four years and obtained MY BSN just to be reduced to questions about minimum competency. Nursing needs a revolution.
3 days later: OMG! Look at my stats I’m applying to Harvard direct entry online NP Program. What do you guys think? I’ve decided bedside nursing is overrated and not for me.
4 days later: OMG! ALERT! This is a vent post!! (note the redundant exclamation marks!!) I’m on orientation on my 7th job and I hate my preceptor!! She’s so lazy!! I’m doing everything and she’s just at the nurses’ station eating chips, gossiping, and getting fatter! Is it okay if I ask for a new receptor?!? (Are you asking/requesting or demanding?) Oh!! Don’t dare correct me or offer any contrarian POV, I no it all! Lastly, I’ll appreciate any feedback, thanks guys. It’s so nice to have an online family/community of people going through the same struggle, ya dig?!!
5 days later: OMG! I got caught diverting and fired, but I landed a dream job the next day. I’m so confused as how this will affect my chances of getting into CRNA school 🙄 Anyone else been through the same ordeal? Oh and my marriage is now failing, my dog had diarrhea while my aunt was on a trip in Cambodia. My sister put monkey glue on her hair and everyone is calling me because I’m a nurse and I hate the attention. Please help and validate my assertions because I’m sensitive to positive criticism. Who needs such negativity in life? Ugh!
6 days Later: OMG! Thank you so much for the responses and staying on topic guys. I'm like so overwhelmed. Have you noticed how people usually respond to OPs with impertinent feedback? It’s like so gross! Anywho, so, tomorrow we have a pizza party at work, but I’m scared because I only want to eat the pepperoni and toss away the crust because I’m gluten-free on Keto diet. Will that be offensive to the bitter biter old nurses? By the way, our dog’s name is dawg. He’s a vegan chihuahua and bulldog mixed mutt but identifies as a walrus. I don’t like it when people misidentify him as a canine. It's like so offensive. Sorry, I digressed with impertinent/irrelevant info. Anywho, so, my husband is downstairs with Dawg smoking PCP while playing video games in his Scoobie-doo onesie. My husband’s girlfriend is there too and she wants me to braid her hair, but she’s bald headed. What should I do? OMG! I’m like, so, stressed, right now! Please provide relevant and positive feedback only.
7 days Later: OMG!! Wow! I can't believe some of the responses. I’m like so outraged right now to the highest level of outragetivity. I’m flummoxed, appalled, dismayed, flabbergasted, hoodwinked, and bamboozled at how callous, insensitive, and ignorant some people are. Ugh!