I think I’ll be fired and I really do need to vent my fears

Peachpit · Apr 3, 2021

Cut yourself some slack. Sounds like you were pushed to the point of breaking. Yes, in hindsight, you should've gone to management about this situation and the on going issues with this nurse and tech. You know that now so if in the future something like this pops up again you will be able to handle it immediately.

You own none of your coworkers nothing except respect and professionalism at work as they do you. You have right and you should stand up for yourself. Yelling, swearing..not the best way as you know but you did it, it's over with now you need to be proactive as others have already commented and get in touch with HR immediately.

Whether you intend to stay at this job or not isn't the point, the point is to protect yourself because I assure you the tech and charge nurse absolutely will cover their own @$$es.

londonflo · Apr 3, 2021

12 hours ago, LibraNurse27 said:

As for the yelling, I just thought that was how hospital work is

Why would a healing environment sanction yelling? But I have students who were in the OR say the surgeon yells all the time "your killing my patient"

LibraNurse27, BSN, RN · Apr 3, 2021

1 hour ago, londonflo said:

Why would a healing environment sanction yelling? But I have students who were in the OR say the surgeon yells all the time "your killing my patient"

Sometimes hospitals don't feel like healing environments... just my opinion.

Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN · Apr 3, 2021

You did nothing wrong,just got fed up.They were wrong but this is chance for you to get out of there.There are better places to work.Many of us have experienced toxic work enviroments and many times it is better to resign and go before they sabotage your career with fake bs. You can report it to HR,do it first though,then resign, and going forward do not discuss personal stuff with anyone,they are not your friends,they are co workers,keep your mouth shut.Some jackasses take the most innocent of comments and twist them against you.

guest1163268 · Apr 4, 2021

On 3/28/2021 at 10:47 PM, direw0lf said:

I acted like an immature b today. At work. I’m so ashamed. I actually want to find a new job if I can but I didn’t want to this soon. I’m just afraid of being fired though, if I could leave myself, that would look better to potential employers.

I don’t get along with one nurse and one tech. I lost a lot of weight within a short period of time, and they talk about me behind my back but within earshot or make comments at me, calling me anorexic and bulimic. I asked the nurse not to talk about me, she said OK.

Then today I had a hard blood draw. Two techs couldn’t get it, and I couldn’t get it, everyone was busy and I wanted to do what I thought was right and I called ICU and ask if any nurse is available to try a blood draw. In the past other nurses have called same day surgery or ICU so I figured I was right. One nurse from ICU came over.

The charge nurse on my unit (the nurse who I asked not to talk about me) came over to me and yelled (literally yelled) that just because I have a personal problem with her doesn’t mean I have a right not to tell her an ICU nurse was coming. I didn’t know I was supposed to. She yelled at me in front of my patient who questioned me about why I was in trouble. So when I was done, I went up to her and I DID yell back. Believe me...I know I was wrong. I didn’t think about what to say first I just went and yelled and said I didn’t know and she didn’t believe me still.

I then whispered “f*** you”. I know. I can only say in my defense that it was 100% uncharacteristic of me and I know I was wrong, immature and not acting like a professional nurse. I can’t beat myself up more than I have. I just reached a point where I was so sick of it. Sick of her comments when I’m ordering take out she’d walk by me and say “why you just throw it up don’t you” and other things like that. I did used to talk about food and weight a lot, I am 24, isn’t that normal? I’m within my normal BMI. It really got to me. That’s no excuse for what I did, I realize that. I’m afraid I’ll be fired since I was reported. I’m expecting to be fired when I show up to work next. I’ve only worked here since August. I’ve never been in trouble before but it only takes one disciplinary problem to be fired.

So I’m trying to decide what I should do. Should I type up my resignation letter and give it to my manager before I’m fired?

I’m so mad at myself. Such stupid crap at work when all I wanted to do as a nurse was take care of people and be friendly and helpful to my coworkers.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. I know I’m wrong. I don’t know what to do next though.

You will learn eventually that nurses gossip and eat their young especially at your age and being skinny. You shouldn't have shouted back or sworn, but she shouldn't have either especially re a stick. You should go to HR but only to cover your butt. Make it a hypothetical situation and ask for advice as to how you should have reacted. Mention no names. She's not likely to report or write you up unless she's an idiot. She also reacted unprofessionally and there will be witnesses.

To me, you are in a pretty good situation especially with her unprofessional behavior. If her behaviors are as described, find other experienced nurses on the floor and ask for advice re how to deal with her. Just be prepared to hear negative comments about yourself because I suspect that you are also having a hard time with others.

SansNom · Apr 4, 2021

I'm willing to bet that calling another unit nurse to help without notifying your charge is almost definitely not mentioned in any rules or policies of your facility. Your charge nurse was on a power trip, probably rooted in your bad history with her. Being charge doesn't give you any power over other nurses whatsoever except which patients they are assigned.

You did the right thing by standing up for yourself, although in retrospect you maybe could have done it in a better way. Either way, the charge nurse was even more in the wrong for yelling at you in front of a patient, not to mention things she had said/done to you in the past.

As many others have said, head it off by going to your manager or HR and explain what happened and also what has been happening (the other nurse talking about your body and eating habits). If that doesn't steer things in a more positive direction then it sounds like you'd be doing yourself a favor to leave, but I doubt that simply yelling at another nurse by itself is worth firing you over, unless they already had other reasons they were considering getting rid of you for.

Stillcrazyafteralltheseyears · Apr 4, 2021

Was there any witnesses when you dropped the "f bomb"? I believe you have a claim for harassment if you want to go that route. You can call HR and find out. I would do this anonymously and from a phone no one can link back to you. Nurses are passionate people so don't be too hard on yourself. You have just learned a valuable lesson about maintaining professionalism at work. I doubt you will ever make that mistake again.

JKL33 · Apr 5, 2021

18 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

I think it must be wonderful to be 24 and only worried about a difficult charge nurse and whether you are too thin, when surrounded by people dying in a pandemic, homeless and jobless, in a country with mass shootings weekly. All about perspective I guess.

Errr...

I guess we both weren't there so I don't really know any more than you do, but I sense you have a wrong read on this one.

This account is about a blow up that began because the grand poo-bah was not notified that an ICU nurse was called to help with an IV. That is one of the dumbest things ever and yet....it certainly isn't the first time. This CN is one of those people who has quite an exaggerated sense of the charge nurse role. The take themselves very seriously and love to pick at everything and anything. This is how they reassure themselves (unfortunately out loud) that they are the bestest. No critique is too low to come out of their mouths (hence actually gossiping about a coworker's weight) and everyone around them is damned if they do and damned if they don't.

If the OP would have gone to her for help with an IV, that would've been the wrong thing, too, and @direw0lf would've been made out to be completely incompetent and everybody in that unit would have known that the Queen Bee had to start that IV.

Nah. This charge nurse works hard for her conflicts with people so that they will reject her and then she can turn around and claim she is not being properly honored as the one in charge of that place. ? She needs therapy. Her current MO is so old and tired.

TheReluctantRN · Apr 5, 2021

Hospitals are some of the most toxic working environments I've ever been in. It sounds like that charge nurse is insanely jealous of your weight loss, and nothing she has said to you has been professional either. I know that what you said was not right either, but it sounds like you were at the end of your rope with that one. I might have said the same.

My suggestion? Try home health. It's way more fun, independent and you get to mostly work alone without all that drama. I bet you would love it! Our jobs are too hard for all that nonsense:)

Delia37, MSN · Apr 5, 2021

Conflict management training should be a priority subject in nursing school, unfortunately, it is not. Cursing at your co-workers is highly frown upon; however, we are only human... don't beat yourself over that, anymore. A lesson to learn for this, never have that difficult conversation with someone when in anger or in an emotional state. Personally, I would suggest to call you manager, as soon as possible; speak your peace and request a face to face meeting with that charge nurse... let your manager mediate the situation (at the end of the day, conflict resolution is part of her job). Do not discuss the situation with anyone else in your workplace (venting or getting other's "perspective"...that just feed the gossip monster in the unit. If your hospital has an union, ask for a representative to come with you to that meeting...if not, go in with the mind set that you might be terminated; however, you will have the opportunity to share you side of the story. That is, if you are still interested in keeping this job. I am really concern with the environment in that unit (the fact that asking the CN for help didn't even crossed your mind is very telling of the toxic culture in that unit); regardless of the outcome of this situation, strongly consider transferring to another unit or charging hospitals.

Best of lucks to you and keep us posted.

Crojo1501, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Apr 8, 2021

Sorry ladies,but as a nurse that is also male, we cannot relate to this type of drama. ????

LibraNurse27, BSN, RN · Apr 8, 2021

2 hours ago, Crojo1501 said:

Sorry ladies,but as a nurse that is also male, we cannot relate to this type of drama. ????

It was one of my male coworkers who made most of the drama! He took pictures of things night shift did wrong, like a drop of blood on the glucometer or IV tubing they didn't change and show the pics to the manager. They responded by giving him horrible assignments on day shift. So much arguing, and he is the guy who always yelled at me about taking my break. I don't think drama is gender specific, but I will say when I worked Med/Surg and was one of the only female nurses we never had drama. Just a lot of talking about protein powder and P90X workouts.

I was 23 and there was one other female nurse in her 50s, then a bunch of guys in their 20s/30s. All muscular, attractive athletic type guys. I guess it was wasted on me since I'm gay but the little old lady patients were in heaven. Plus they did all the heavy lifting! True gentlemen of Med/Surg