I think I’ll be fired and I really do need to vent my fears

[direw0lf]

I acted like an immature b today. At work. I’m so ashamed. I actually want to find a new job if I can but I didn’t want to this soon. I’m just afraid of being fired though, if I could leave myself, that would look better to potential employers.

I don’t get along with one nurse and one tech. I lost a lot of weight within a short period of time, and they talk about me behind my back but within earshot or make comments at me, calling me anorexic and bulimic. I asked the nurse not to talk about me, she said OK.

Then today I had a hard blood draw. Two techs couldn’t get it, and I couldn’t get it, everyone was busy and I wanted to do what I thought was right and I called ICU and ask if any nurse is available to try a blood draw. In the past other nurses have called same day surgery or ICU so I figured I was right. One nurse from ICU came over.

The charge nurse on my unit (the nurse who I asked not to talk about me) came over to me and yelled (literally yelled) that just because I have a personal problem with her doesn’t mean I have a right not to tell her an ICU nurse was coming. I didn’t know I was supposed to. She yelled at me in front of my patient who questioned me about why I was in trouble. So when I was done, I went up to her and I DID yell back. Believe me...I know I was wrong. I didn’t think about what to say first I just went and yelled and said I didn’t know and she didn’t believe me still. 

I then whispered “f*** you”. I know. I can only say in my defense that it was 100% uncharacteristic of me and I know I was wrong, immature and not acting like a professional nurse. I can’t beat myself up more than I have. I just reached a point where I was so sick of it. Sick of her comments when I’m ordering take out she’d walk by me and say “why you just throw it up don’t you” and other things like that. I did used to talk about food and weight a lot, I am 24, isn’t that normal? I’m within my normal BMI. It really got to me. That’s no excuse for what I did, I realize that. I’m afraid I’ll be fired since I was reported. I’m expecting to be fired when I show up to work next. I’ve only worked here since August. I’ve never been in trouble before but it only takes one disciplinary problem to be fired. 

So I’m trying to decide what I should do. Should I type up my resignation letter and give it to my manager before I’m fired? 

I’m so mad at myself. Such stupid crap at work when all I wanted to do as a nurse was take care of people and be friendly and helpful to my coworkers.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. I know I’m wrong. I don’t know what to do next though.

[vintagegal, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

I feel for you. HR should have been involved from the start. I would have made the call, let them know you feel uncomfortable at work with your charge making offensive comments about you and your weight. She is a bully. Bullies like to poke and prod until they get their victim to snap, and then they act surprised. It’s called gaslighting. I would resign, and when called on your exit interview, I would tell them plain and simple that you were the victim of harassment. Best of luck to you. 

[Wuzzie]

On ‎3‎/‎29‎/‎2021 at 8:49 PM, canoehead said:

I really think the charge should be fired, not you.

keep a written record of comments, you could have a case for a hostile work environment. 

I wish this were true but unless the OP is in a protected class and the verbal assaults are related to that which makes the OP protected then there is no case.

Unfortunately, in most cases, it's not illegal to be a nasty person.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

10 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

I wish this were true but unless the OP is in a protected class and the verbal assaults are related to that which makes the OP protected then there is no case.

Unfortunately, in most cases, it's not illegal to be a nasty person.

I wonder if the hostility towards a person perceived to be in a protected class (eating disorder-psychiatric disorder) would push that into actionable territory...?

[Wuzzie]

22 minutes ago, Jedrnurse said:

I wonder if the hostility towards a person perceived to be in a protected class (eating disorder-psychiatric disorder) would push that into actionable territory...? 

Unfortunately no. It's gender, race and religion. Everything else is pretty much fair game. Ask me how I know this. :-(

[LibraNurse27, BSN, RN]

2 hours ago, Jedrnurse said:

I wonder if the hostility towards a person perceived to be in a protected class (eating disorder-psychiatric disorder) would push that into actionable territory...?

Yes, and even though those in a protected class are supposed to be "protected" from harassment, doesn't mean it always happens. Our weekend charge was great as part of the IV/PICC team, but on weekends he had to work on the floor and was overwhelmed. He was obsessed with giving everyone their break, but didn't do much to cover us when we left for break unless it was an IV or cleaning someone (which was nice!)

During covid he hated entering the rooms because of a chronic lung condition (totally understand.) When all of my patients were sick covid pts I didn't feel comfortable leaving knowing my tasks wouldn't be done and I'd be in a stressful/unsafe situation when I came back. I would decline my break and he would scream at me that he offered a break and I can't complain to management, it's my choice and I "always make things difficult." I stayed calm for years and agreed it's my choice, I won't make a complaint. He knew about my diagnosis of bipolar and getting screamed at exacerbated symptoms, but no one cared.

One covid day when I was adjusting all 3 pts hi flows and worried one needed intubation, we did the usual yelling routine and I yelled back that I would take a break but my pts better be alive when I come back. I went into the med room and slammed the door. No swearing but I did feel bad. No one reported me and I apologized but that's when I knew I needed a new job. The yelling and anger was out of character for me. The stress of the job plus the yelling pushed me over the edge. Don't let this toxic work environment turn you into someone you don't want to be. I don't think you'll be fired, but if you are it may be a blessing in disguise. But, I hope you're not and that you can find a new job on your own terms. 

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 4/1/2021 at 11:45 AM, LibraNurse27 said:

Yes, and even though those in a protected class are supposed to be "protected" from harassment, doesn't mean it always happens. Our weekend charge was great as part of the IV/PICC team, but on weekends he had to work on the floor and was overwhelmed. He was obsessed with giving everyone their break, but didn't do much to cover us when we left for break unless it was an IV or cleaning someone (which was nice!)

During covid he hated entering the rooms because of a chronic lung condition (totally understand.) When all of my patients were sick covid pts I didn't feel comfortable leaving knowing my tasks wouldn't be done and I'd be in a stressful/unsafe situation when I came back. I would decline my break and he would scream at me that he offered a break and I can't complain to management, it's my choice and I "always make things difficult." I stayed calm for years and agreed it's my choice, I won't make a complaint. He knew about my diagnosis of bipolar and getting screamed at exacerbated symptoms, but no one cared.

One covid day when I was adjusting all 3 pts hi flows and worried one needed intubation, we did the usual yelling routine and I yelled back that I would take a break but my pts better be alive when I come back. I went into the med room and slammed the door. No swearing but I did feel bad. No one reported me and I apologized but that's when I knew I needed a new job. The yelling and anger was out of character for me. The stress of the job plus the yelling pushed me over the edge. Don't let this toxic work environment turn you into someone you don't want to be. I don't think you'll be fired, but if you are it may be a blessing in disguise. But, I hope you're not and that you can find a new job on your own terms. 

 

You needed a new job?

Calm for years?  Covid is only since 2020. 

How come you blame yourself instead of his yelling assininity?  Why did you never  c/o his screaming and his never doing anything besides cleaning up a pt?  How long were your breaks anyway? 

 

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

On 4/1/2021 at 9:54 AM, Wuzzie said:

Unfortunately no. It's gender, race and religion. Everything else is pretty much fair game. Ask me how I know this. ?

race, color, religion, sex, age, national origin, and disability - like mental illness.

[Wuzzie]

2 minutes ago, Kooky Korky said:

race, color, religion, sex, age, national origin, and disability - like mental illness

OK so tell me which one of these categories does the OP fit into?

 

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

12 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

OK so tell me which one of these categories does the OP fit into?

 

I didn't say she fit in any, although maybe disability.  Sorry for any misunderstanding.

I was listing the  protected classes under Federal law.

Sex includes pregnancy, sexual orientation, and gender identity

veteran status is another protected class

Ancestry and creed, genetic information, and citizenship also are protected.

 

[Wuzzie]

Got it.

 

[1gr8trnstudent, ADN, BSN, RN]

don't feel bad direw0lf, like stated before, it was a brewing stew waiting to happen. Covid has made everyone tired and stress in nursing is at an all time high. The last thing anyone needs is a lousy bunch of coworkers who talk behind others backs because their lives are miserable. Like the one commenter said, do not share anything about your life with your coworkers because jealousy happens. It's the best advice EVER. 

[LibraNurse27, BSN, RN]

10 hours ago, Kooky Korky said:

Calm for years?  Covid is only since 2020. 

How come you blame yourself instead of his yelling assininity?  Why did you never  c/o his screaming and his never doing anything besides cleaning up a pt?  How long were your breaks anyway? 

Not sure! breaks were 30 mins. A lot can be done in 30 mins, and urgent situations can't wait. As for the yelling, I just thought that was how hospital work is, stressful! 3 months have passed since leaving that job and each month I feel a little better. So many physical assaults by patients that this guy's yelling didn't seem like much. I never felt physically threatened and knew it came from stress. This is why I encourage the OP to start looking for a new job. Don't let violence by patients and harassment from coworkers begin to seem normal to you. Get out before that happens, because it does take a toll on your health over time.