I am sick and tired of being asked "Who is watching your kids?"

Nurses General Nursing

Published

So who watches your kids while your here? I mean, do you really think they ask my dh as he delivers his mail, so who is watching your kids? NOOOOO!!! I don't make excuses for my career, I worked very, very hard to get my degree, it was not handed to me. I love my children, but being a nurse is as much part of my identity as being a mom. I love it, I never say, Ahhh man, I got to go to work. I enjoy being there. (This isn't to say that I don't enjoy my time off, lol) People just AMAZE me, my dh is a wonderful father. He makes them dinner every night, does Nicole's homework with her, gives bathes, does laundry, picks up etc....He is just as capable of taking care of our children as I am, yet I still get "the look" when I make a comment about having little ones. Then I get "so who is watching your children while your HERE?" I just want to say, Oh, nobody, I just leave them home with their doors shut in their rooms, they are fine:lol2:

Specializes in Emergency Room.

coworkers are probably the nosiest people you will ever encounter. they could really care less about who watches your kids..they just want something to gossip about just in case you say something like " oh, they have to go to my neighbors next door". that response will then prompt them to feel sorry for you and then you can be the topic of conversation for about 5 minutes at the nurses station. i see this all the time in my department. i don't know many people who can live comfortably with one income so women who are stay- at -home moms.....consider yourself exceptionally blessed.

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coworkers are probably the nosiest people you will ever encounter. they could really care less about who watches your kids..they just want something to gossip about just in case you say something like " oh, they have to go to my neighbors next door". that response will then prompt them to feel sorry for you and then you can be the topic of conversation for about 5 minutes at the nurses station. i see this all the time in my department.

I know! Why do so many people have so little class?

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Some people are nosy and/or judgmental. Some are looking for ways to yank your chain.

But there are others who might only be asking, "How do you make it work?" Maybe they're considering a job or school, or they're interested in comparing notes on an area that's been a struggle.

And then some just want to make conversation.

I wonder what response you'd get if you just looked sweetly at them and said, "Why do you ask?"

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

My dogs are watching the kids today. Or, are you offering your services?

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I know how you feel exactly. I get sick of having to give explanations about where my children are and who they are with.

I homeschool my children, and it is as bad when you have them out during the day and people ask why they are not in school. My husband is so paranoid about it he doesn't want the kids out in the yard during the day, but I don't feel like I should have to lock them away to avoid interrogation.

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Some people are nosy and/or judgmental. Some are looking for ways to yank your chain.

But there are others who might only be asking, "How do you make it work?" Maybe they're considering a job or school, or they're interested in comparing notes on an area that's been a struggle.

And then some just want to make conversation.

I wonder what response you'd get if you just looked sweetly at them and said, "Why do you ask?"

This is what I was thinking . . .especially with all the threads here on allnurses about how to make it work . .. kids and jobs.

steph

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I know how you feel exactly. I get sick of having to give explanations about where my children are and who they are with.

I homeschool my children, and it is as bad when you have them out during the day and people ask why they are not in school. My husband is so paranoid about it he doesn't want the kids out in the yard during the day, but I don't feel like I should have to lock them away to avoid interrogation.

Oh I have had the same thing happen . . . . but the tide is turning a bit for homeschoolers because there are so many of them. Not as odd anymore.

I homeschooled off and on with my older kids and taught them all to read well. I'm homeschooling my 4 year old - but I've also let him go to a local parent run preschool 2 days a week for 4 hours a day.

steph

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Specializes in pedi, pedi psych,dd, school ,home health.

My favorite reply used to be ..OMG! the kids! forgot all about them??!!!!!:D

raised :uhoh21:a few eyebrows but got my point across. now i just tell them how old they are (i still get asked about my "kids")they are 21and 23!

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Specializes in Urgent Care.
Good for you for doing what you love to do! :yelclap: Don't let people make you feel bad about your choices!

:yeahthat:

Why be bothered by people who ask "who watches your kids"? If their opinion is not important to you, then it IS NOT important to you. As a dad, I used to be irritated by the "baby sitting today?" comment too. Untill I realized, I wont be able to change society attitudes, nor even these individuals, so I choose to "not give a care" (as the little ones say). or if I can some off the wall smartass answer.

I take the same attitude with aggressive drivers, you should see some ol' logger boy's expression :angryfire when he is giving me the finger; and I smile, blow a kiss and wave!!!!:eek:

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Specializes in LDRP; Education.
My dogs are watching the kids today. Or, are you offering your services?

I used to also feign shock and surprise; when we were out with friends and they'd ask, I'd look at my husband in shock and say "I thought they were with YOU!"

Or, I'd reply that they are in the glove compartment (they were premature at 4lbs each at discharge so it made sense that they would fit).

Finally they stopped asking.

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Some people are nosy and/or judgmental. Some are looking for ways to yank your chain.

But there are others who might only be asking, "How do you make it work?" Maybe they're considering a job or school, or they're interested in comparing notes on an area that's been a struggle.

And then some just want to make conversation.

I wonder what response you'd get if you just looked sweetly at them and said, "Why do you ask?"

I get asked who is watching the baby and I have never thought of it in a negative light. I always assumed it was because so many of my coworkers have children and they are just wondering how I am making it work. Our dept. is really like one big family, so when we are discussing our personal lives it never turns into gossip, but we offer lots of support.

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Specializes in M/S, OB, Ortho, ICU, Diabetes, QA/PI.
I hear you!!!! It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Since I'm in school now, people are really in awe.

Along the same vein is when people say, "Can your husband babysit your kids so you can _______________ tonight?" Um, people, it's not *babysitting*, I refer to it as PARENTING.

Whatever. I know that my children will be much better off seeing their mother in a career that matters and seeing their father capable of meeting their needs as competently (much more so in some areas) as I do.

Amanda

ooohhh, that "babysitting" thing drives me crazy!!!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

a friend of a friend used to work for the State of Michigan and one of her responsibilities was to screen and respond to peoples' requests for subsidized childcare dollars - people used to actually try to get money for their laid-off spouses to stay home with their kids and some actually put the word "babysitting" in their letters - she would reply with a letter informing them that the State of Michigan was NOT going to pay them to raise their own children - the nerve of some people...............

also, my husband used to work with a lady who was married to a man way older than her (she was in her 30's, he was in his 60's) although he was getting his Social Security, he still worked part-time and she worked full-time so their little girl went to daycare - they weren't allowed to claim the childcare/daycare expense on their taxes because he was getting Social Security - they were informed that if he was old enough to be getting his SS, he was technically "retired" and therefore could stay home and take care of their daughter!!!!

finally, I have lost count of how many people have asked me over the years where my kids are when I'm at work and I've never thought to ask my husband until reading this thread - he said he has never been asked that question in his whole career!!! go figure.............someone actually once asked me if my husband (who has a M-F existance) got a babysitter on weekends I worked so he could "relax and enjoy his weekend" .................

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