Actually, I lost all respect for two colleagues today. One is a brand new grad, about 21 or 22 and gorgeous in one of those fresh, "girl next door" ways. She gets her scrubs tailored so they fit her just so, her hair is long, shiny and falls in loose lustrous waves. She could be a model, so we'll call her Heidi. The other is a married neurosurgery fellow, whose wife is pregnant with his first child. We'll call him Dr. Dick, or just Dick.
Heidi didn't do anything to seriously endanger a patient: she didn't slam in Lasix, for example, or trickle in Adenosine. She didn't miss a run of VT (although, to be fair, the Clin Tech noticed it first and pointed it out to Heidi). She didn't ignore post-op pain or bleeding, and she wasn't the one sitting at the computer at the nurse's station, headphones on and watching a hockey game while ignoring monitor alarms and call bells. Nevertheless, I've completely lost respect for her.
It was a slow night for a Friday night -- half of our surgeons were out of town for a conference and of the remaining four, one just lost his mother and isn't back from the funeral in Asia. There's a new sushi restaurant near the hospital, and they deliver if you can put together a lucrative-enough order. The folks I work with are crazy about sushi and even the Respiratory Therapists and the X-ray techs were ordering $20 worth of sushi.
We were all sitting in the back -- well, not ALL of us. Half of us were sitting in the back, having drawn the long straw and were enjoying our sushi while the other half watched all of the patients. Heidi was sitting next to Dick, something that really didn't register with me at the time, and Dick was regaling us all with a tale about how his wife's incredible morning sickness caused her to toss her cookies in the waste basket of a patient's hospital room while the patient described in great detail the "unusual" nature of his poop. (Only nurses -- and surgeons, RTs and X-ray techs can sit around enjoying a good meal while describing poop and someone's vomiting episodes.)
And then I went back to relieve Steve, my substation partner so he could eat his sushi. While Steve was gone, his patient's attending surgeon stopped by and asked a question I couldn't answer, so I popped into the break room to ask him about it. Both Heidi and Dick were still there, only this time they were sharing a single chair. The sexual tension was palpable, and Steve looked thrilled to be interrupted. He shot out of the room as though he'd been fired from a cannon.
Heidi, it seems, has been sleeping with Dick since her arrival on our unit in July. She knows all about the pregnant wife . . .
Heidi may be a good clinician one day, she may be a compassionate and caring nurse. She may be a hard worker. But I will never again respect a woman who could sleep with a married man, a man whose wife is pregnant with their child and who is a sometimes-colleague on a consulting service. And the fact that they made no attempt to be discreet makes them even more contemptible. I've lived through the drama on a unit when an affair goes bad, witnessed a famously and flagrantly unfaithful surgeon's wife storm into the ICU demanding "which one of you ugly ******* is ******* my husband?" and making a good attempt to castrate the man in question. I've seen the aftermath of the DON being found going at it with the Medical Director of Emergency Medicine and I've lived through more nurses breaking up with doctors on our service than I can even remember. I've been the cheated-upon, and it was more painful than even I can describe. Why would you put someone else through that deliberately?
Keep it out of work, people. And if you cannot do that, at least be discreet.
The break room is not a private place. Folks were trying to take their breaks in there, and the behavior chased more than one person out of the break room on what should have been their break.
Here's a thought: maybe people should stop being such cowards as to allow themselves to be chased off. I can't believe no one said something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm trying to eat my lunch, think you two could cool it? Or go somewhere else? And by the way Dr. Dick....AREN'T YOU MARRIED?"
There are people who think that only the married person is in the wrong. All I have to say to that, is just wait until someone sleeps with your husband.
A woman who sleeps with a married man IS a homewrecker. And the man she's sleeping with is garbage. People can change, and hopefully these two will.
All Ruby said was that she lost respect for her colleagues. I don't understand why that's controversial. But if you think two people who are willing to do something so hurtful to someone else are deserving of your respect, go right ahead.
Here's a thought: maybe people should stop being such cowards as to allow themselves to be chased off. I can't believe no one said something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm trying to eat my lunch, think you two could cool it? Or go somewhere else? And by the way Dr. Dick....AREN'T YOU MARRIED?"
Or maybe people are keeping their noses out of other people's bedrooms. For all you know mrs dick approves of the relationship because she's asexual! No one actual knows what's going on other than the three people involved and it's no one else's business!! Would you want someone asking you about your bedroom habits? Probably not!
Hmmm, you seem to have missed out on some basic "man" education here. Watch this video. Make sure to watch to the end where the graph for women is demonstrated. The guy in the video takes credit for inventing the matrix, despite the fact that I first heard of the matrix in the late 80's. Universal crazy hot matrix - YouTube
Eh, I guess I was just being blindly hopeful that maybe, just maybe, a normal dude could have what it takes to nab a Heidi. I'm guessing that no-strings-attached, "friends with benefits" arrangements aren't very common between two single nurses working in the same hospital/shift?
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Eh, I guess I was just being blindly hopeful that maybe, just maybe, a normal dude could have what it takes to nab a Heidi. I'm guessing that no-strings-attached, "friends with benefits" arrangements aren't very common between two single nurses working in the same hospital/shift?
You are an odd person. Why would you *want* to nab a Heidi?
As to the bold, generally not. Because we are ADULTS and PROFESSIONALS, and most of us know you don't **** where you eat.
Hmmm, you seem to have missed out on some basic "man" education here.
Watch this video. Make sure to watch to the end where the graph for women is demonstrated. The guy in the video takes credit for inventing the matrix, despite the fact that I first heard of the matrix in the late 80's.
Ok, after I got the 'offended' reaction in check, I did actually LOL. From time to time, I thought "who is THIS guy---apparently a 4-5/10 IMHO, tops---to decide what is 'hot enough' or 'too crazy'?
Then I just laughed at the silliness, and enjoyed the video :)
I did think he was going to describe the Zone below the Wife Zone as "Mistress Zone", lol, but....ah well. And yes, let's not forget Dude Zone!
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
OMGosh, husband and I both have tears in our eyes from that video! He just posted it on his facebook wall. I loved "This zone is for redheads, strippers, and women named Tiffany."
Ok, after I got the 'offended' reaction in check, I did actually LOL. From time to time, I thought "who is this guy---apparently a 4-5/10 IMHO, tops---to decide what is 'hot enough' or 'too crazy'?
Eh, I would rate him a 7, but I'm a total sucker for nerds. He actually reminded me quite a bit of my husband. :)
Eh, I guess I was just being blindly hopeful that maybe, just maybe, a normal dude could have what it takes to nab a Heidi. I'm guessing that no-strings-attached, "friends with benefits" arrangements aren't very common between two single nurses working in the same hospital/shift?
If you really want "no strings w/ benefits", seek out a lady who does that for a living and pay her price upfront. What people are trying to tell you here is that many times, most times the "price" to pay might get lost on one or two people in an unscrupulous arrangement, but there will eventually be a price Ie: drama , heartache, sti, childsupport, loss of job, keyed car, going to jail, etc, etc. Please see "the danger zone".
Eh, I guess I was just being blindly hopeful that maybe, just maybe, a normal dude could have what it takes to nab a Heidi. I'm guessing that no-strings-attached, "friends with benefits" arrangements aren't very common between two single nurses working in the same hospital/shift?
Or maybe people are keeping their noses out of other people's bedrooms. For all you know mrs dick approves of the relationship because she's asexual! No one actual knows what's going on other than the three people involved and it's no one else's business!! Would you want someone asking you about your bedroom habits? Probably not!
I'm talking about the breakroom, which once again is not a private place, nor anyone's bedroom. For a seemingly intelligent person, you seem to be having inordinate difficulty grasping that.
duskyjewel
1,335 Posts
Here's a thought: maybe people should stop being such cowards as to allow themselves to be chased off. I can't believe no one said something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm trying to eat my lunch, think you two could cool it? Or go somewhere else? And by the way Dr. Dick....AREN'T YOU MARRIED?"