Actually, I lost all respect for two colleagues today. One is a brand new grad, about 21 or 22 and gorgeous in one of those fresh, "girl next door" ways. She gets her scrubs tailored so they fit her just so, her hair is long, shiny and falls in loose lustrous waves. She could be a model, so we'll call her Heidi. The other is a married neurosurgery fellow, whose wife is pregnant with his first child. We'll call him Dr. Dick, or just Dick.
Heidi didn't do anything to seriously endanger a patient: she didn't slam in Lasix, for example, or trickle in Adenosine. She didn't miss a run of VT (although, to be fair, the Clin Tech noticed it first and pointed it out to Heidi). She didn't ignore post-op pain or bleeding, and she wasn't the one sitting at the computer at the nurse's station, headphones on and watching a hockey game while ignoring monitor alarms and call bells. Nevertheless, I've completely lost respect for her.
It was a slow night for a Friday night -- half of our surgeons were out of town for a conference and of the remaining four, one just lost his mother and isn't back from the funeral in Asia. There's a new sushi restaurant near the hospital, and they deliver if you can put together a lucrative-enough order. The folks I work with are crazy about sushi and even the Respiratory Therapists and the X-ray techs were ordering $20 worth of sushi.
We were all sitting in the back -- well, not ALL of us. Half of us were sitting in the back, having drawn the long straw and were enjoying our sushi while the other half watched all of the patients. Heidi was sitting next to Dick, something that really didn't register with me at the time, and Dick was regaling us all with a tale about how his wife's incredible morning sickness caused her to toss her cookies in the waste basket of a patient's hospital room while the patient described in great detail the "unusual" nature of his poop. (Only nurses -- and surgeons, RTs and X-ray techs can sit around enjoying a good meal while describing poop and someone's vomiting episodes.)
And then I went back to relieve Steve, my substation partner so he could eat his sushi. While Steve was gone, his patient's attending surgeon stopped by and asked a question I couldn't answer, so I popped into the break room to ask him about it. Both Heidi and Dick were still there, only this time they were sharing a single chair. The sexual tension was palpable, and Steve looked thrilled to be interrupted. He shot out of the room as though he'd been fired from a cannon.
Heidi, it seems, has been sleeping with Dick since her arrival on our unit in July. She knows all about the pregnant wife . . .
Heidi may be a good clinician one day, she may be a compassionate and caring nurse. She may be a hard worker. But I will never again respect a woman who could sleep with a married man, a man whose wife is pregnant with their child and who is a sometimes-colleague on a consulting service. And the fact that they made no attempt to be discreet makes them even more contemptible. I've lived through the drama on a unit when an affair goes bad, witnessed a famously and flagrantly unfaithful surgeon's wife storm into the ICU demanding "which one of you ugly ******* is ******* my husband?" and making a good attempt to castrate the man in question. I've seen the aftermath of the DON being found going at it with the Medical Director of Emergency Medicine and I've lived through more nurses breaking up with doctors on our service than I can even remember. I've been the cheated-upon, and it was more painful than even I can describe. Why would you put someone else through that deliberately?
Keep it out of work, people. And if you cannot do that, at least be discreet.
I'm talking about the breakroom, which once again is not a private place, nor anyone's bedroom. For a seemingly intelligent person, you seem to be having inordinate difficulty grasping that.
And you seriously need to stop putting your nose in other people's love life. They were sharing a chair, that is it! It's not worthy of stoning or a scarlet letter. If they had been caught having sex at work, it would be a different story. And you have d hard time grasping what people do in their bedroom is none of your business! I mean, did your hubby cheat on you, is that why you think it's everyone else's responsibility to keep married men from messing around?
When have I ever said what people kept in the privacy of their bedrooms is my business? And when have I ever suggested stoning? However, if I find out someone is cheating on their spouse, I will express disapproval. I'm starting to wonder if you're an adulterer since you seem so invested in defending it. As to my husband, not even when he was continents away from me did he consider cheating. First, he loves me too much and second, he knows what morality is and how to keep vows.
I don't think you two are far from off being in agreement that people being sexually involved with others in these circumstances are acting poorly.
SionainnRN posted back that:
"Oh and I never said I approved, I just said Heidi didn't break any vows and the bulk of the blame lays on the doc." (I can't quote and post that good on this site.)
The crux seems to be the difference of how far an individual is responsible.
You know what, you are both right. We are responsible to ourselves and to society we live in.
But we get to decide what that responsibility is individually. You can't mandate some things and this is one of them.
When have I ever said what people kept in the privacy of their bedrooms is my business? And when have I ever suggested stoning? However, if I find out someone is cheating on their spouse, I will express disapproval. I'm starting to wonder if you're an adulterer since you seem so invested in defending it. As to my husband, not even when he was continents away from me did he consider cheating. First, he loves me too much and second, he knows what morality is and how to keep vows.
Or so you think! Ha no I'm not an adulterer but even if I was, it doesn't mean anything. I could be married, banging prostitutes every night, and still be an awesome nurse and person. It must be so hard to see the other side from that high horse of yours.
You think I have no right to disapprove of adultery, yet you feel perfectly free to brand my husband an adulterer when you don't know him from Adam.
And no, you can't be married and banging prostitutes and be an awesome person. I will respond to you no further.
Do what you will. I didn't brand your hubby an adulterer just said you never know. And you know what? It's none of my business!! Who you and your husband bang is none of my business, just like it's none of your business who Heidi bangs, even if she's *gasp* sharing a seat with someone who has a member. There has to be more important things for you to worry about.
Eh, I guess I was just being blindly hopeful that maybe, just maybe, a normal dude could have what it takes to nab a Heidi. I'm guessing that no-strings-attached, "friends with benefits" arrangements aren't very common between two single nurses working in the same hospital/shift?
Hedgehog, you are disgusting. Please rethink nursing. It's clear you're not in it for the right reasons. Besides, bedside nursing is beneath you, right? There are plenty of other careers in which you can carry on your search for a "Heidi" to bang. Patients deserve better.
And you seriously need to stop putting your nose in other people's love life. They were sharing a chair, that is it! It's not worthy of stoning or a scarlet letter. If they had been caught having sex at work, it would be a different story. And you have d hard time grasping what people do in their bedroom is none of your business! I mean, did your hubby cheat on you, is that why you think it's everyone else's responsibility to keep married men from messing around?
No one is talking about stoning or scarlet letters. Losing respect for someone after witnessing that sort of behavior is a normal reaction. Even if they were just sharing a chair...I can't imagine too many people who could walk in a room and see their spouse sharing a chair with someone and think nothing of it.
No one is talking about stoning or scarlet letters. Losing respect for someone after witnessing that sort of behavior is a normal reaction. Even if they were just sharing a chair...I can't imagine too many people who could walk in a room and see their spouse sharing a chair with someone and think nothing of it.
It's hyperbole in response to the idea that the general public is responsible for making a married man keep it in his pants. Only the people involved are responsible for their actions. If I have a drink in front of an alcoholic, no matter how sweet and yummy it may be, doesn't mean it's my fault that they fall off the wagon.
Hmmm, you seem to have missed out on some basic "man" education here.
Watch this video. Make sure to watch to the end where the graph for women is demonstrated. The guy in the video takes credit for inventing the matrix, despite the fact that I first heard of the matrix in the late 80's.
Gosh that is hilarious! I am apparently in the "danger zone" being a redhead, it could be worse..at least my name isn't Tiffany! I will neither confirm nor deny if there is any stripping involved.
vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN
2,717 Posts
I have to say, PMFB-RN.... I love love love that video! I 1st saw it a few months ago on FB!!
Crazy/Hot matrix!! Bwahahahaha!!!!