Actually, I lost all respect for two colleagues today. One is a brand new grad, about 21 or 22 and gorgeous in one of those fresh, "girl next door" ways. She gets her scrubs tailored so they fit her just so, her hair is long, shiny and falls in loose lustrous waves. She could be a model, so we'll call her Heidi. The other is a married neurosurgery fellow, whose wife is pregnant with his first child. We'll call him Dr. Dick, or just Dick.
Heidi didn't do anything to seriously endanger a patient: she didn't slam in Lasix, for example, or trickle in Adenosine. She didn't miss a run of VT (although, to be fair, the Clin Tech noticed it first and pointed it out to Heidi). She didn't ignore post-op pain or bleeding, and she wasn't the one sitting at the computer at the nurse's station, headphones on and watching a hockey game while ignoring monitor alarms and call bells. Nevertheless, I've completely lost respect for her.
It was a slow night for a Friday night -- half of our surgeons were out of town for a conference and of the remaining four, one just lost his mother and isn't back from the funeral in Asia. There's a new sushi restaurant near the hospital, and they deliver if you can put together a lucrative-enough order. The folks I work with are crazy about sushi and even the Respiratory Therapists and the X-ray techs were ordering $20 worth of sushi.
We were all sitting in the back -- well, not ALL of us. Half of us were sitting in the back, having drawn the long straw and were enjoying our sushi while the other half watched all of the patients. Heidi was sitting next to Dick, something that really didn't register with me at the time, and Dick was regaling us all with a tale about how his wife's incredible morning sickness caused her to toss her cookies in the waste basket of a patient's hospital room while the patient described in great detail the "unusual" nature of his poop. (Only nurses -- and surgeons, RTs and X-ray techs can sit around enjoying a good meal while describing poop and someone's vomiting episodes.)
And then I went back to relieve Steve, my substation partner so he could eat his sushi. While Steve was gone, his patient's attending surgeon stopped by and asked a question I couldn't answer, so I popped into the break room to ask him about it. Both Heidi and Dick were still there, only this time they were sharing a single chair. The sexual tension was palpable, and Steve looked thrilled to be interrupted. He shot out of the room as though he'd been fired from a cannon.
Heidi, it seems, has been sleeping with Dick since her arrival on our unit in July. She knows all about the pregnant wife . . .
Heidi may be a good clinician one day, she may be a compassionate and caring nurse. She may be a hard worker. But I will never again respect a woman who could sleep with a married man, a man whose wife is pregnant with their child and who is a sometimes-colleague on a consulting service. And the fact that they made no attempt to be discreet makes them even more contemptible. I've lived through the drama on a unit when an affair goes bad, witnessed a famously and flagrantly unfaithful surgeon's wife storm into the ICU demanding "which one of you ugly ******* is ******* my husband?" and making a good attempt to castrate the man in question. I've seen the aftermath of the DON being found going at it with the Medical Director of Emergency Medicine and I've lived through more nurses breaking up with doctors on our service than I can even remember. I've been the cheated-upon, and it was more painful than even I can describe. Why would you put someone else through that deliberately?
Keep it out of work, people. And if you cannot do that, at least be discreet.
Hedgehog, you are disgusting. Please rethink nursing. It's clear you're not in it for the right reasons. Besides, bedside nursing is beneath you, right? There are plenty of other careers in which you can carry on your search for a "Heidi" to bang. Patients deserve better.
Hold on a second, don't you think that's more than a bit harsh? What does wanting a mutual, FWB relationship with a female have to do with not being in it for the "right reasons?" Are you saying that being a doctor or engineer and seeking that kind of arrangement is okay, but establishing one as a nurse isn't?
Also, how could being in that type of relationship even affect or influence patient care? I just don't see what's so wrong with it if both parties understand the terms of the relationship and are choosing to engage in it for mutual reasons.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
And you seriously need to stop putting your nose in other people's love life. They were sharing a chair, that is it! It's not worthy of stoning or a scarlet letter. If they had been caught having sex at work, it would be a different story. And you have d hard time grasping what people do in their bedroom is none of your business! I mean, did your hubby cheat on you, is that why you think it's everyone else's responsibility to keep married men from messing around?
What people do in their private bedrooms is their business -- if they keep it in their private bedrooms. When they're engaging in displays of affection in the workplace, it becomes NOT private. And when they're carrying on in front of other folks who are innocently trying to eat their lunch, it becomes unsavory. Even if they're both single. The fact that one of them WASN'T single is even more disgusting to some of us. You might not agree with that viewpoint, but it's a valid viewpoint. Please leave the personal attacks out of it.
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
Ok, after I got the 'offended' reaction in check, I did actually LOL. From time to time, I thought "who is THIS guy---apparently a 4-5/10 IMHO, tops---to decide what is 'hot enough' or 'too crazy'?
Then I just laughed at the silliness, and enjoyed the video :)
I did think he was going to describe the Zone below the Wife Zone as "Mistress Zone", lol, but....ah well. And yes, let's not forget Dude Zone!
Funny.
I am happy you got over being offended and could enjoy the humor. However he is NOT the guy who decides. He takes credit for the Universal Crazy / Hot Matrix but it has been around a long, long time. I belive the matrix was first explained to me in 1989 or 1990.
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
You are an odd person. Why would you *want* to nab a Heidi?
As to the bold, generally not. Because we are ADULTS and PROFESSIONALS, and most of us know you don't **** where you eat.
Look, I don't expect many women to understand this but I get where he is coming from and why a man would seek a FWB situation with a "Heidi". I belive he is using poor judgement when he seeks that out at WORK. The "Heidi's" of the world can be VERY attractive to a man, _IF_ you understand her nature from the beginning and don't get sucked in beyond the "fun zone".
Hold on a second, don't you think that's more than a bit harsh? What does wanting a mutual, FWB relationship with a female have to do with not being in it for the "right reasons?" Are you saying that being a doctor or engineer and seeking that kind of arrangement is okay, but establishing one as a nurse isn't?
Also, how could being in that type of relationship even affect or influence patient care? I just don't see what's so wrong with it if both parties understand the terms of the relationship and are choosing to engage in it for mutual reasons.
No, but there's something weird about coming on a nursing forum asking about the odds of you finding an attractive nurse to hook up with.
It's called "reading the room." Learning to do that might aid you in your sexual conquests.
I'm sorry if you're worried you won't get as much tail as the docs because you're just a "lowly nurse" who aspires to be more. But I don't need to hear about it. Take that junk to the male forum.
What people do in their private bedrooms is their business -- if they keep it in their private bedrooms. When they're engaging in displays of affection in the workplace, it becomes NOT private. And when they're carrying on in front of other folks who are innocently trying to eat their lunch, it becomes unsavory. Even if they're both single. The fact that one of them WASN'T single is even more disgusting to some of us. You might not agree with that viewpoint, but it's a valid viewpoint. Please leave the personal attacks out of it.
But it's okay to personally attack me? Say that I'm responsible for the downfall of society and marriage? Hmm, interesting. If I had a nickel for every time I was uncomfortable in the break room by coworkers actions, then I wouldn't need to work ever again. And none of those were as disgraceful as.....sharing a chair!!!!
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
Hold on a second, don't you think that's more than a bit harsh? What does wanting a mutual, FWB relationship with a female have to do with not being in it for the "right reasons?" Are you saying that being a doctor or engineer and seeking that kind of arrangement is okay, but establishing one as a nurse isn't?
Also, how could being in that type of relationship even affect or influence patient care? I just don't see what's so wrong with it if both parties understand the terms of the relationship and are choosing to engage in it for mutual reasons.
You would have better luck seeking a "Heidi" who is a CNA and for whome you would have a high income. The point is that that "Heidi" Is very unlikely to be interested in a FWB relationship with her peer. She is out to make her assets work for her and giving them away to a peer isn't going to get her anywhere.
Also as it has been pointed out to you several times already, such relationships are work usually lead to sticky situations that can make work a living hell. I can't say I have been there, done that, but I have seen it happen many, many times.
SionainnRN
914 Posts
That all depends on who's in the bed!